A Second Chance at Life
by Isannah
Summary: Hindsight is 20/20, but that means nothing to Isabella. Her choices have imprisoned her in a life that she never imagined for herself. Escaping is not an option...or is it? Rated M for language, lemons, and some violence. B/E,AH
1. Chapter 1

**I'm baaaaack! I was so touched by the outpouring of response for the ending of For the Love of Alice that I couldn't wait to get back into it. For those of you who read it from beginning to end, I simply adore you. Sticking with it for forty-nine chapters is true dedication and I'm so appreciative of your support.**

**Now on to something different. This was a story that I started for the Summer Review Contest. The object was to see how many reviews a story can get in one summer when it's anonymous. While technically I came in second, I hardly think 31 reviews for seven chapters is a success. Once the contest was over, I kind of put it on the back burner. RL made it difficult to update FTLOA consistently and throwing this story on top of it would have definitely been too much for me. I have reworked this story a bit and have several chapters ready to post so it will be updated regularly. I would really love for you to read this and tell me what you think. So without further adieu, I give you ****A Second Chance At Life****. **

**AN: I do not own anything Twilight, but it's always fun to pretend that I do.**

***Parts of this chapter deal with abuse. **

**Chapter 1**

**Where Did It All Go Wrong?**

"_I, Isabella Marie Dwyer, take thee, James Christopher Bennett, to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to __**OBEY**__, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance."_

_-Traditional Christian Wedding Vows_

**BPOV**

"Mom, please. You need to calm down." It was a major understatement. She really did need to calm down. I could not stand to do this…again.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down, Isabella. I think I have been extremely patient considering what you have put father and me through. We have not seen you for two years. _Two years_, Isabella. I could live with it if I thought you were happy, if I knew you were safe. But I have had this feeling, this _overwhelming feeling,_ that something is just not right. _He's_ not right." I cringed as she spoke the words. It was one thing to hear the same rant that I had been hearing for months from her, but she threw my dad into it as well. That was simply not fair. She knew he was my weak spot. Even if he wasn't my biological father, he had been my dad in every sense of the word since I was three. I had always been his little girl and I'd like to think I still was even though at this point I probably didn't deserve to be.

"Mom, I would appreciate it if you would stop talking about my husband that way. I chose him. I am happy with him and he would never hurt me." I lowered my voice even though there wasn't anyone home to hear me. "He loves me."

Honesty was the best policy. It was the mantra I had grown up with for years. I had never been a liar, at least not until recently. Apparently it seemed the more lies I told, the easier they rolled off my lips, because what I just said to my mother was the most blatant of lies.

And Renee knew it too.

"Isabella, please. We both know he is _not_ the man he appeared to be when you two first met. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing and he preyed on your kind heart and your innocence. He doesn't love you. He wants to control you, there is a big difference."

I hated her words. I hated that she made me angry at her for saying them. I hated that she didn't approve of the man I married. And worst of all, I hated more than anything that she was right.

When I didn't say anything, Renee took the opportunity to continue her pushing. "Why don't we come to see you? I've never been to Chicago." Her tone had turned whimsical and carefree. It sounded like a perfectly natural question a mother would ask of her daughter, except I knew what she was doing. At first it was easy to put my parents off with excuses of James' demanding career. They made it clear that they weren't happy when we didn't come home for holidays or even just for a few days to visit, but they had accepted it…for awhile. Now they were just desperate to see if their suspicions about what my life had come to be were correct. It didn't matter, though. They would never come see me. James would never allow it.

"Mom, you know you and Dad don't like to fly and it's too far to drive. James is going to make partner real soon. I promise we'll come see you after he does. He'll need a vacation."

Another lie.

My mother sighed and I could tell she was beginning to give up, but not before one last ditch effort. Her tactic changed and her voice became softer as she began to plead with me. "Isabella, you know you can come to us, for anything. We can help you. Please. Let us help you."

I shook my head willing myself to dislodge the thoughts. It was at this point in the conversation that I would usually start to waver. I would let her words slip into my mind and for a brief moment I would allow myself to believe them. Could they really help me escape this enormous hole that I had dug for myself?

_Not without falling in with you. The hole is just too big. You know that._

The reality of what was happening assaulted my brain like lightning. I was slowly losing the upper hand in this conversation because I allowed myself to let in these miniscule slivers of hope. I needed to shut this down before I did something incredibly stupid. Clearing my throat I firmly dismissed what she was saying. "I don't need your help and I don't want to talk about this anymore. I need to get going anyway and start dinner."

Renee's voice became all quiet and I knew she was starting to get emotional. I did not

want to listen to my mother cry. I swallowed hard before speaking trying to will back my own tears. I did not want my voice to give me away. "Okay, Mom. I'll talk to you soon. Tell dad I said hi. I love you both." I ended the call before she had a chance to respond and placed my phone in the shoe box labeled 'Family Pictures' on the floor of my closet. James didn't want me making long distance calls because they were too expensive, but I needed a way to talk to my mom. So when I got my part-time job at the local library, I used a portion of my first paycheck to buy one of those phones that you just add minutes to when needed. I wasn't exactly hiding the phone from James. I just didn't think it was something he needed to know. No big deal.

_Yeah, right. Who are you kidding? He would fucking flip._

Ignoring my inner thoughts, I started working on dinner. James would be home in an hour and he would want to eat almost immediately after. Cooking on auto-pilot, I began thinking about what my mother said.

"_He's a wolf in sheep's clothing and he preyed on your kind heart and your innocence." _

Was that really how it happened? It didn't seem like it at the time. I had been twenty years old and studying to be an English teacher at the University of Florida. I had never been an overly outgoing girl, preferring to focus on my studies and hang out with the couple of good friends that I had. I wasn't into the party scene and I certainly didn't feel comfortable around boys. I wouldn't call myself an introvert, just cautious and responsible.

That was until I met James Bennett.

I was in line at a coffee shop waiting to get my daily caffeine fix when I had a distinct feeling that someone was watching me. Trying to be discreet, I casually looked behind me to see the most piercing blue eyes on the most gorgeous face staring right at me. He smiled at me and all I could do was shyly smile back and then turn around as fast as I could. I continued to feel his gaze on my back even while I was silently going through all the reasons why he couldn't possible be interested in me.

When it was finally my turn to order, I was an incoherent bundle of nerves. But it didn't stop the jerk behind the counter from trying to coerce my phone number out of me by threatening to withhold my beverage. I tried to tell him that I just wanted to get my coffee and be on my way, but he wouldn't take no for an answer obviously thinking he was God's gift to the female population.

"I believe the lady said no." The voice behind me rang out and I froze, not knowing what to do. The boy at the counter looked past me to see who the voice had come from. There was not doubt he was intimidated from the deer-in–the-headlights look that spread across his face. "I suggest you get her what she asked for, on the house of course, and apologize for being such a douche. And don't even _think _about fucking looking at her in the process." This beautiful man towered over the coffee guy and pretty much scared the ever loving shit out of him. I was in awe. He was standing up for me and defending my honor, and I just…swooned.

From that moment on, James and I were inseparable. He was finishing up his law degree and would soon be taking the Bar Exam. He was my first in so many ways: my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first lover. He spent all his free time with me and made me feel special, something that I hadn't ever felt before. I even secretly reveled in thoughts of being wanted and desired when he would become jealous over the most insignificant things. At the time I found it endearing and just a sign of how much he loved me.

I adored him completely.

About six months after our initial meeting, things began to change. James passed the Bar and was offered a job at a law firm in Chicago. I knew he had to take it and I was crushed that he was leaving me. I was so wrapped up in being distraught over our inevitable breakup that it never even occurred to me in my wildest dreams that he would ask me to marry him. But he did and I stood there in total shock, ignoring every impulse that screamed things were moving too fast and said yes. We made love that night and he showered me with kisses, attention, and promises of a wonderful future together.

Renee and Phil had been absolutely furious when I announced that I was dropping out of school to get married and move to Chicago with James. They had never really warmed up to him. My mom constantly worried about my heart getting broken and my dad just didn't trust him. I tried to assure them that he was nothing but good to me and begged them to have faith in my judgment. I promised to transfer all my grades to a university in Chicago and finish my degree just as soon as we settled in. That seemed to appease them along with the fact that James was likely on his way to a successful law career.

The excitement I felt for the new life I was about to embark on had been overwhelming. The possibilities of what was to come were endless. Yet, here I sit, two years later. I still haven't enrolled in school. I haven't even gotten an application. There has always been some reason as to why the time wasn't right. As newlyweds, I put all my energy into the marriage that, in all honesty was tense and strained right from the beginning. James had passed the Multistate Bar Exam in Florida, but had to pass the essay portion of the Illinois State Bar Exam in order to be able to practice in the state. His days were spent trying to prove himself in his new job and his nights were all about studying for that damn test. A lot was riding on it and it took its toll on James' mental health. It was exhausting just trying to keep up with his mood swings. We had a lot of arguments and most of them ended with me giving in because I didn't want to stress James out anymore than necessary and I also trusted him to know what was best for us.

As time went on, supporting James in his career clearly took precedent over everything else. He worked endless hours and was frazzled all the time. He took it out on me, spewing insults that focused on my appearance, my intelligence, and my competence. I kept telling myself that he didn't mean the horrible things he said, he was just under enormous pressure. At the time I couldn't really blame him for randomly snapping at me like that. _ I _was the one who needed to be more understanding and sympathetic to what he was going through. _I _should have been more in tune to his needs.

You would think that now, since James' career is about to take off, that it would be my turn to get my professional goals back on track. However, according to him, there just wasn't any point in pursuing the completion of my degree. James was on the verge of finally making partner and talks of starting a family had been becoming more frequent. He never even asked me if I wanted children. He just made it clear that that was what was expected of me. End of discussion. I could hardly imagine subjecting an innocent child to all of this, but it looked more and more like I was destined to be a devoted wife, loving mother, and committed home-maker. Slowly, I watched my aspirations of making a real difference in the lives of kids simply disintegrate into dust. That shy girl of two years ago who dreamed of having her own classroom one day had all but disappeared.

I sighed wistfully at the future that probably would never be. The more I thought about everything that had happened in the last two years and my mother's words, the more solemn I became. I didn't want to acknowledge that she was right; because that would mean I would have to admit that my husband doesn't love me. He only wants to possess me. No, this is not what I expected my life to be, but there wasn't any reason to dwell on it. It wasn't like there was anything I could do to change it. James had methodically taken every last piece of independence from me. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late to take it back. He owned me. At least I could pretend that I had it all back when I was working at the library. It was easy to become lost in the world of books and just…forget.

Dinner was coming along nicely. My cooking skills had definitely improved since marrying James. He made it clear that he wanted dinner on the table when he got home and simple things just weren't acceptable. If I was going to be home all day while he slaved to bring in the paycheck that I enjoy, the very least I could do was try to be fucking useful and provide him with a fucking home-cooked meal every night.

His words, not mine.

I had thrown myself into making his favorite dinner, chicken parmesan. I even cut the chicken paper thing just how he liked it. Of course he would never actually tell me how much he enjoyed it or that he appreciated the trouble I had gone through for him. Those days were long gone and watching him shovel it in faster than his mouth could move would be the only acknowledgement that I had actually done something right.

I looked at the table one more time to ensure that everything was just perfect and then turned my attention to the pasta boiling on the stove. It had to be al dente. Anything more than that was failure. As I lifted the pot to drain the water I heard the door open and close.

He was home. I set aside all my thoughts and kept my eyes on the sink. I took a deep breath as I tried to put a happy expression on my face.

Pretending I didn't hear him come in, I focused shaking the colander back and forth as I rinsed the starch off the pasta. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and I knew he was in the doorway, watching me. This time it didn't excite me or make me feel special. My skin started to crawl as I felt his eyes rake over my body. I didn't even attempt to make it known that I knew he was there. The longer I could go without talking to him the better. Finally, he crossed the kitchen and I felt his arms wrap around and grip me tightly as he kissed the back of my neck. I faked being startled and jumped a little.

"You know, Isabella, there was a time when you greeted your husband from a long day of work at the door. Yet, now you can't even be bothered to stop what you are doing to acknowledge my presence. How do you think that makes me feel?" Most wives would take that comment as a joke and retort with something witty and sarcastic. Not me. I wasn't falling for it…this time. I put on my best remorseful face and turned twisted myself around in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, James. Really, I just got caught up with dinner and I didn't hear you come in with the water running. I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I promise." Resorting to begging was something that I did often.

"I'll let it slide, this time. You can make it up to me, babe…_later_."

_So not looking forward to that._

"Looking forward to it." I smiled and looked at him from underneath my lashes trying to give my best come-hither look before returning my eyes to the pasta. The strands of spaghetti looked up at me with mixed pity and jealousy. Even they knew that they weren't the only limp noodles I would be attending to tonight.

_I'm giving human emotions to pasta. What the hell is wrong with me?_

"Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes. Why don't you get changed into something comfortable and I'll pour you a glass of wine." He didn't say anything as he headed up the stairs. I let out a deep breath as I reached in the cabinet for a wine glass. I had chosen his favorite merlot to go with our dinner.

I dished up our plates and was putting them on the table when James arrived in the dining room. I took a moment to take in his appearance, trying to remember what his initial appeal was to me. Once upon a time, everything about him made my body tingle. He had that bad boy look that just made your toes curl. His long, blondish hair was carelessly taken care of and hung in disheveled layers that framed his face perfectly. His body was chiseled and strong. The t-shirts he wore showed off his rippling muscles in the most tantalizing way. And his eyes, those crystalline, blue eyes were piercing and had hypnotized me more than once. I thought he was the epitome of gorgeous. And by today's standards, most women still would.

However, over time, the things that I had loved about him now made me a little sick. Spending most of his time in a professional setting had forced him to wear his rebel hair in a slicked back pony tail that just looked downright greasy. The muscles I had once seen as sexy were now just weapons that he used against me from time to time. And those eyes. They used to look at me with what I thought was love and adoration. Now all they do is switch between disgust, possessiveness, and indifference. They scare the shit out of me because they never give anything away and I never know just what he is going to do next.

"How was your day?" I asked, not really caring, but wanting to seem like I cared.

"Same shit, different day. It's not worth getting into. You couldn't possibly understand or relate." Insulting my intelligence had become so natural to him that he didn't even have to think about it. "That reminds me, there's a work event tomorrow, just appetizers and cocktails. I need you to be ready by six." Hearing him say that made me want to gouge my eyes out with a fork. I hated his work events. He usually ignored me, his co-workers hit on me, and their wives sneered at me. All in all, these things were _fucking fabulous_.

James must have sensed my hesitation. "What is it, Isabella?" He looked annoyed.

"Oh, nothing, I'm just a little caught off guard. I didn't see anything for tomorrow night on the calendar."

"I just found out about it today, but we need to be there. At this stage of the game, we need to show how committed we are. I want that partnership and we won't do anything to fuck that up. So if Garrett invites us to something, we're there with fucking bells on." He said 'we' like we were really in this together. Like we were a team.

_Yeah, right. Can I request a trade?_

I felt a snicker start to bubble up at my own lame ass joke and knew that it wouldn't go over well. I suppressed it instantly and poured James some more wine. "Well, then we'll go. I'll be ready at six." He didn't acknowledge me even though I knew he had to hear me. We spent the rest of dinner in silence and I was mostly thankful for that. The rest of me just felt the lack of conversation was making the time go by agonizingly slow and just wanted it to end.

When it was evident that James was just about done with eating, I started clearing the dishes from the table and began getting everything cleaned up. James went into the living room and turned on the television to some baseball game. He never offered to help, but I was fine with it because it meant that I could pretty much keep to myself until I finished. However, once the dishes were done, all bets were off. Sometimes I was lucky and he passed out in the living room, never making it to bed. Those nights I would quietly cover him with a blanket to make him more comfortable and increase the chance that he wouldn't wake up. Then I would go upstairs and read a little before going to sleep. Other evenings I could sense him waiting for me to finish in the kitchen. I knew on those nights, I would have to perform.

This one was one of those nights.

As soon as I pushed the button to start the dishwasher he was in the doorway. Lust filled his eyes as he held his hand out to me. "Come, babe. Let's go have some fun." I responded by taking his hand and letting him lead me up the stairs to our bedroom.

I used to love having sex with James. When he found out I was a virgin, he was so patient and waited until I was ready. When I finally gave him the green light, he went out of his way to make it as special as possible. Flowers, candles, love, tenderness: the works. Even as recent as a year ago, James had been a thoughtful lover. It confused me because one moment he could be so cruel with his words and then the next be making the most sweet and passionate love to me. It wasn't long after he started being physical with me that his compassion in the bedroom ended as well. Now, it was all about him and the only good thing I could say about it was that it didn't last that long…at all.

He took his pants and boxers off and sat down on the edge of the bed. He motioned for me to come to him and I complied. He pushed his hands down onto my shoulders and I kneeled in front of him. He pulled the hem of my shirt and I lifted my arms so he could pull it over my head. I felt exposed, but that was nothing compared to the repulsion I was feeling from knowing what I was going to have to do next.

"I will never get tired of seeing you like this, kneeling before me. You're ready to serve me, aren't you babe?" I cringed as the word 'babe' fell off his lips. Something about the way he said it went right through me. I just didn't like it.

"Of course I am, James." Like I had a choice.

"That's what I like to here. Now put that pretty little mouth of yours to good use." He grabbed me by the back of my hair and shoved his dick inside my mouth and started thrusting. I tried not to gag, but he was so forceful he hit the back of my throat hard. "That's it, babe. You take everything I give you, my little bitch." My eyes pricked with tears as I realized I had no power over what was happening. There was nothing I could do. He controlled everything: the pace, the angle, the forcefulness. My mother's words rang in my ears.

"_He doesn't love you. He wants to control you, there is a big difference."_

James began to grunt as he came and I quickly swallowed so I wouldn't choke. "Mine, you are fucking mine." He said as the last of his orgasm overtook him. He pulled out of my mouth, grabbed my chin harshly, and looked right into my eyes. "You remember that, babe." And that was it. He crawled back and slid underneath the covers leaving me kneeling at the bottom the bed. After about a minute, I slowly rose to my feet and looked at the clock on the nightstand.

_Seven minutes. Seven fucking minutes of my life that I will never get back._

I walked to the bathroom, shut the door, and reached for my toothbrush. After my final rinse I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I hated what I saw. My face was blotchy from the tears I had shed and my lips were chapped and swollen. My hair was disheveled from James' hands being wrapped in it. My skin was pale and my eyes were vacant. I didn't recognize the girl looking back at me. I didn't have the faintest idea of who she was and how she came to be. With one last glare, I turned my back on her misery and stepped into the shower.

The water cascaded down my body as I just stood there. I needed the water to cleanse me and wash the filth from my body. Even though James had not been inside me, I still felt dirty and unclean. I had already brushed my teeth until they bled, but that wasn't enough to erase the feeling of pure disgust over what I had just done. I didn't always feel this way. I had given James tons of blow jobs in the past. There was a time when I actually enjoyed giving him that type of pleasure. I had no idea when it had gone from an act I did out of love for James and a chore that I was obligated to do. But it had changed, and now it felt unnatural and just wrong. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the warmth of the water.

A small waft of cool air hit my skin. I heard the door to the bathroom open, but I never saw him coming.

The shower door flung open and there was James, seething. His eyes were filled with anger and he was showing his teeth like a rabid animal. I immediately backed up into the furthest corner of the shower stall knowing that there was no where I could go. I was trapped. Clothes on and all, he stormed into the shower and grabbed my throat while slamming my head against the tile. Stars started to form behind my eyelids as I tried to figure out what the hell just happened.

"What. The fuck. Is. This?" His voice was venomous as he demanded an answer. Instinctually my hands flew up to his as I tried to claw them away from my throat. His grip only got tighter and I could feel my body begin to seize from the lack of oxygen.

"Answer me, Isabella!" I forced my eyes open and tried to concentrate on the small object he was holding in his hand. Everything was blurry but I fought through it so I could give him a response and hopefully get him to let go. I could see it now. It was small. It was black. It was my cell phone.

I. Was. Screwed.

**Okay, you guys know what to do. I'd love to hear what you think. Thanks! ~Isannah**


	2. Chapter 2

**Happy Holidays, everyone! I want to thank everyone who has given this story a chance. I really appreciate it and I'm hoping to drag in a few more of you. This chapter is not fun, but necessary to the story. See you on the other side!**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

***Parts of this chapter deal with abuse.**

_The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable. _

_~Jim Davis_

**Chapter 2**

**Lies**

**BPOV**

"If you know what's good for you, you will fucking answer me. NOW!" I flinched as James bellowed out the last word but I couldn't do what he asked. His grip around my throat was too tight and unrelenting. I tried to recall a time when I had seen such anger in his eyes and came up empty. This was bad, real bad. I had no idea how I was going to get out of this unscathed.

"Pl…please. I…I…c-can't…" I used all my might to get out those few words. His eyes darted from my eyes to the hand that was wrapped around my throat. His whole demeanor shifted as he realized that what he was doing was going to kill me if he didn't stop. His hand slightly loosened and I sputtered and gasped as the air whooshed in. I was well aware that his hand was still around my throat, it was just not crushing my windpipe at the moment.

He slowly reached to the faucet and turned off the water. We were both soaking wet and I started to shiver as cool air replaced the warm water and hit my naked body. Once the water was off, he dragged his hand up my arm and brushed the wet hair off my shoulder and behind my back. He was calm. Eerily calm. I knew from experience that this was when he was the most dangerous. His voice turned sinisterly sweet.

"Let me tell you a little story, Isabella. Would you like that?" He didn't wait for a reply. "After a long day of work, a mediocre dinner, and an even less satisfying blow job, all I wanted to do was to crawl into bed and get some sleep. I was just about to drift off when I heard this ringing coming from somewhere in the room."

_Shit, I hadn't turned it off. Why the fuck hadn't I shut it off?_

"Imagine my surprise when I followed the sound and found this in a box at the bottom of your closet. I was a confused at first because _my_ wife would _never _go behind my back and secretly have her own cell phone. Would she, Isabella?"

I didn't say anything because I couldn't tell what would get me into more trouble. If I admitted to owning the phone, I would be punished. If I denied it, he would know I was lying, and I would be punished. This was a no-win situation, for me anyway.

"What? Got nothing to say, Isabella? That doesn't surprise me. Your mother, on the other hand, had quite a lot on her mind." I couldn't contain the alarm on my face when he mentioned Renee. She had called and he answered the phone. Oh, this could not be good.

"My, my mother? Wh-what did she say?" I tried to hide the underlying terror that was flowing in my body. My efforts were futile. He knew he struck a nerve.

"Well, let's see. She rattled on and on about what a horrible person I was for taking you away from her." He held up his hand and started counting on his fingers. "She said I was controlling, abusive, heartless, oh and that I was sucking the life right out of you. That one's my favorite." I love my mother dearly but I was going to kill her, if I made it out of this alive that is.

"Is this what you're telling her? These lies?" Of course James thought that they were lies. He couldn't even see that at this exact second he was being abusive and controlling. It was like he truly felt that there was nothing wrong with the way he was treating me. Everything was my fault and I deserved everything I got. I had to talk my way out of this before it got really ugly.

"James, you know my mother. She rambles. No one ever takes her seriously. I never told her any of those things. She just wants me, I mean us, to come home for a visit. It's been two years. That's all, I swear."

"Like I am going to believe anything your lying mouth has to say. But I guess it doesn't really matter now anyway." He paused. Before he continued a sinister grin appeared on his face. "I don't think your mom will be calling again."

"James, what did you do?"

"Let's just say Renee and I are…at an impasse." What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Please, James, I need my mom. She's the only connection I have to my life back home." I felt the panic well up inside me. He was cutting off from my mom and in turn, every shred of hope I had left.

"_That_ is not your life anymore. I am your life now. You are my wife and I demand nothing less than your complete attention. You. Belong. To. Me!" He yelled as he took the cell phone and smashed it against the tile. Watching the thing shatter into a million pieces was like watching my life splinter as well. There was nothing salvageable. And soon there would be nothing left of me to salvage either.

"I won't tolerate anymore secrets, Isabella. Consider yourself warned. You even think about doing something like this again, I won't be so forgiving." He squeezed my throat and gave my head one more shove into the tile for good measure. "Now clean this shit up and get your ass into bed." He stepped out of the shower and stalked off into the bedroom.

I reached up to my neck and could feel the stiffness already begin to take over. My head was throbbing and I was still coughing a little from the lack of air. But that was the least of my problems. My mom was probably freaking out from whatever James' told her and who knows when I would have the opportunity to call her. How long would it be before she gave up on me, if she hadn't already? James could have told her any number of lies and he could be quite convincing when he wanted to be. Hell, he was a lawyer after all.

The tears started to flow as regret consumed me. For awhile my mom had been begging and pleading for me to accept her help in getting me out of this so-called life. I always pushed her away because I didn't want to get her involved. James told me all the time that I belonged to him and that if I ever left him he would find me. He made it clear that there was no where on this planet that I could escape to because he would make it his life mission to bring me back. I knew he meant it and I couldn't possibly mess up my parents' lives by subjecting them to the wrath of James just because I had been too stupid to see the warning signs when I was younger. But every time I denied her help, I still knew in the back of my mind that it would always be there if I ever mustered up the courage to take it. Now it was completely gone and my window of opportunity had been nailed shut.

_Why hadn't I taken her up on it when I had the chance?_

That was the million dollar question and I had absolutely no answer to it.

By the time I had gotten dressed and cleaned up what was left of the cell phone, James was already asleep. I tried to slip into bed as inconspicuously as possible, but apparently I was a failure at that too. Without so much as uttering a word, as soon as I was under the covers James put his arm around my waist and pulled me close into his side so that I was practically suffocating. The way he held me wasn't at all loving or reverent. It was possessive, like he was keeping me from trying to flee.

_If it were only that easy._

Sleeping was next to impossible. James smelled like stale wine and it made me slightly nauseous. The weight of his arm was suffocating and I was too hot. So, I just laid there and tried to persuade myself that everything was going to be okay. Despite my efforts, my mind just wasn't hearing it.

I watched as the alarm clock switched from 5:59 to 6:00 and music from a local radio station blared out of it. Six hours. I had been lying in bed awake for over six hours.

James stirred, mumbled something to me about coffee, and then headed to the bathroom to get ready for work. When the door shut I made my way downstairs and started the coffee. James never ate breakfast, so I never made it. I had always been a big breakfast person. Renee had drilled into my head since I was three years old that it was the most important meal of the day and Phil loved to cook. I never left the house without having a bellyful of something elaborate and filling. In the beginning I tried to make James breakfast a couple of times, but he refused to even try it. Then for awhile I would make it for myself after James had left for work. But lately, it just didn't seem worth it. I didn't seem worth it.

Lost in thought I stared intently as the hot coffee filled the pot. Once again, I could feel him watching me before I saw him. He didn't speak as he reached over my shoulder to get a travel mug from the cabinet. My body involuntarily tensed up. It wouldn't be the first time James' punishments continued into the next day, and he was so angry last night. The hits never came, but he leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"I expect you to be ready at six and make sure you wear something…appropriate." He was being civil, but his tone was still laced with anger. I turned around to meet his gaze and I saw that his eyes were fixed on my neck. So that's what he meant by appropriate. I needed to wear something to cover up the marks he had made on me.

"Maybe it would be better if I didn't go." Because I'd rather eat broken glass than go and play the loving and devoted wife.

"Oh, you're going. It's all about appearances now and Garrett will wonder where you are if you don't attend. And don't think you're going to pull your moody, quiet shit either. You are to be social and act like there is no other place you rather be. You will not embarrass me tonight, Isabella. Am I clear?" He gave me a look that I had seen many times before. It was his you-do-as-I-fucking-say-or-there-will-be-hell-to-pay look.

"Crystal." He nodded before taking his cup and leaving the kitchen. I sighed in relief when I heard the front door close.

~o~o~O~o~o~

"I'm taking off, Angela. If I don't leave now I won't be ready on time." I said as I finished cleaning up my area and grabbed my coat. I had purposely started my day at the library a little earlier so that I could leave in time to make myself presentable.

"Ah, it must be so tough being married to an up and coming hot shot lawyer." She sighed as she brought her hand up to her face and fanned herself. I rolled my eyes and gave her a small wave as I left the library. To the outsider, my life looked perfect. Little did she know there was absolutely nothing to be envious of. Garrett had announced at the work event following the cell phone incident that he was making James a partner. James would no longer have to struggle to prove himself, take shit from anyone having seniority over him, or worry about how he was going to pay back his student loans. As partner, he was leaving that life behind and heading toward a future where he could hand select the cases he wanted to take on. Associate lawyers would try to prove themselves to _him_ and he would bring in a paycheck that would rival Oprah's. You would think that it would be a milestone in our lives together. You would think we could celebrate the fact that we had made it.

_Yeah, not quite._

He was still pissed as hell at me, but we went to the party anyway. He played the devoted husband and I played the dutiful wife. I laughed at his jokes, schmoozed with all the important people, and cried tears of support and joy when he was announced partner. I wonder what all those tight-asses would all think if they could see what was under my high turtleneck sweater dress. Would they be appalled that he had left bruises in the shape of his hand around his wife's neck or would they just stick their noses in the air and ignore it?

He didn't speak to me on the ride home. He didn't speak to me when we got home. He hadn't spoken to me in almost a week. He left in the morning without saying goodbye. We ate dinner in silence and went to bed the same way. I think he thought that he was still punishing me, but actually it was like a vacation. And like a vacation, when you finally feel like you're at the point of being truly relaxed, it was fucking time to go home.

When he finally spoke to me, it felt like my retreat was over and I had to go back to reality. He announced that we were going to a cocktail party at Garrett's house. I wanted to ask why we had to go since his ass kissing days were over, but my self-preservation mechanism inside told me it probably wasn't a wise idea. His tone was clipped and it looked like it wouldn't take much to send him right over the edge. It was something I was not willing to do because, frankly, I didn't have any more turtleneck dresses.

We drove over to Garrett's in James' spanking brand new fuck-me-red Corvette. He went out and bought it the day after he had made partner as a reward for all the hard work he put in to get that promotion. I couldn't blame him and if things were better between us, I probably would have encouraged him to buy it. He had worked his ass off and deserved it, there was no denying that. But the fact of the matter was that I had no idea that he had even done it. It just showed up in the parking garage one day and if hadn't had 'BENNETT1' on the license plate I would have never had know it belonged to him. I couldn't help but be a little irritated that he had gotten so angry because I didn't tell him about my little ole cell phone and yet he could go out and buy a fucking car without saying a word. Not that he would even remotely see it that way.

The night was as excruciating as I thought it would be. James had started out as usual with the pretense that he was nothing less than head over heals in love with me. However, the more and more he drank the less and less attention he paid to me until I was completely left alone. I tried to make chit chat with the pack of cougar wives that I was forced to sit with, but it was soon clear that they had nothing to say to me. James was the hot new plaything and I was… the inconvenient competition. I finally chugged down the rest of my champagne and left the table to go find sanctuary in the bathroom for a little while.

The downstairs bathroom was already in use so one of the wait staff suggested that I use the one at the top of the stairs. Garrett had instructed them to let people know it was available if needed. I said thank you and made my way up the stairs. I was just about to turn into the bathroom when I heard low but heated voices coming from the next room down. Normally I would just ignore it, but when I heard James' voice I stopped to listen to what he was saying. It was when it was clear that he was talking to a woman that I was frozen where I stood.

"Babe, you know I want you. C'mon, don't be like this."

"No, James, I don't know. I don't see why you would even bring her here. She's just so…so…uh, I don't know what she is. I can't see how you would even fall for her in the first place."

"You know why I needed to bring her. She's my wife and it's expected that she will accompany me. And as far as what I saw in her, let's just say at the time it didn't take much to make me happy." I couldn't believe he was talking about me like this.

"I think it's time for an upgrade. She doesn't fit in with your life anymore. She's Cheese-Whiz and you're caviar. She can't possibly meet your needs."

"And what, you're an upgrade? I've told you, Victoria, I'm married and there will be nothing more to us than this. Isabella may not be enough to satisfy me anymore, but she is mine and I won't give her up. You, on the other hand, are replaceable."

"You are such a fucking asshole." She didn't say it with as much malice as I would have thought considering how he had just spoken to her.

"And you are fucking sexy as hell. C'mere, babe." I could here them assaulting each other and my eyes began to well up with tears. I shouldn't have been surprised that James had been cheating on me, but it hit me harder than a slap to the face. It wasn't that he was with another woman. I wasn't jealous and I didn't feel like my heart had been crushed. I did feel betrayed. But more than that, I was just pissed at myself. It was just one more reason why I should have gotten out of this a lot sooner when I had the chance. Just knowing that I was _that_ wife, the one everyone whispers about being oblivious to her husband's affair was just pathetic. It was just one more thing to make my living hell even more difficult to bear.

I don't know how long I stood there and listened to them go at one another like a couple of horny rabbits. Their moans and grunts rang in my ears and I could actually hear my heart beating inside my chest. I wanted to go in there. I wanted to see the look on their faces when I discovered them. I wanted James to feel guilt and regret over his lack of fidelity. But the bottom line was it never mattered what I wanted. He wouldn't be remorseful because he gave two shits about my feelings.

"_He doesn't love you, he wants to control you. There's a big difference."_

My mother's words flashed through my mind and I slowly started backing up towards the stairs. At that moment, the last thing I wanted to do was make a scene that would most definitely end badly for me. I wanted to go home. I couldn't stay in that house one more second. I walked briskly down the stairs and didn't look back to see if anyone was looking at me as I slipped out the door. As luck would have it, someone was arriving in a cab just as I walked out into the cool air. I hopped in, gave the driver my address, and let out a breath that I had been holding for lord knows how long.

After a long shower and some comfortable clothes, I felt somewhat better. I decided to wait for James to come home instead of going to bed. He would have been furious that I had left without telling him, even though he was the one off fucking around. It would be much better if I met James head on instead of being awakened by him out of a sound sleep. I didn't have to wait long before the door flew open and he was running in.

"Isabella, where the fuck are you?" His eyes darted all around but he still didn't notice me sitting in a chair in the corner of the living room. He was about to head up the stairs.

"I'm right here." I tried to sound brave and confident despite feeling neither. He stalked over to me and I stood up, ready to take whatever he was going to dish out.

"Do you even remotely understand how embarrassing it was for me to find out from one of the partners that you had left? I looked like a goddamn idiot. You have a lot of fucking explaining to do." Oh, he was mad, but so was I.

"I'm not the only one." My voice was quiet, but clear.

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Time to be strong, Isabella.

"It means, dearest husband that you need to explain why you even wanted me to go with you when you were planning on meeting up with your whore the entire time." It was worth all the tea in China to see that evil expression on his face falter for just the length of a second. He had been caught. It took him off guard. He didn't like it one bit.

"You have no idea what you are talking about. You are delusional." He was trying to deny it but we both knew I spoke the truth.

"No, James. I heard you and Victoria in the room upstairs. I heard everything that happened."

"You were listening in on my private conversation? How dare you." Only James would twist his torrid affair into something that I could be blamed for. And now that I was at fault, in his mind he had the right to be livid. It gave him the justification he needed to punish me. He raised his hand as he stalked toward me.

He was going to hit me. I knew it was coming but I kept my eyes open so he could see the pain in them when he hurt me. I wasn't going to let him off the hook on that one. However, the phone rang two steps before he reached me. We both stopped and looked at each other with mutual confusion. The house phone never rang. James only used his cell phone and well, nobody ever called me. That coupled with the fact that it was almost midnight threw us both for a loop. Who the hell would be calling at this hour?

James walked over to the phone and picked it up without once taking his eyes off me. I listened to the one sided conversation and tried to decipher who it possible could be. "Hello?...Yes it is…Yes she is." He listened intently for a bit and I could see the fury in his eyes soften just the slightest bit. "When?...I see….Hold on." He held up the phone in my direction and spoke to me in a flat, unemotional voice. "It's for you."

I slowly made my way over to him and hesitantly took the phone. I couldn't imagine who would be calling me on this phone, at this hour. I was probably going to pay for it later.

"Hello?"

"Um, hello. Am I speaking to Isabella Dwyer Bennett?"

"Yes." I had no idea where this was going.

"My name is Officer Smith with the Florida State Police. Do you know a Phillip and Renee Dwyer?"

"Yes, they're my parents. Is something wrong, officer? Are they okay?" My voice began to shake. Whatever reason he was calling for, it wasn't good.

"Unfortunately, Mrs. Bennett, there has been an accident. Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer were hit by a man who suffered a heart attack while driving. I'm sorry, but neither of them survived. I understand that you are their only living relative. Is that correct, Mrs. Bennett?" I began to feel dizzy and the room started to spin. "Mrs. Bennett? Mrs. Bennett, are you still there?"

I could hear him, but I couldn't answer him. My parents were…gone. I looked to James to see that he was cautiously watching me as I received the news that he had just heard. The phone slipped out of my hand. "No." It was the only word I remembered before everything went black.

**Okay, I ask that you don't hate me yet. I promise, I do have a plan. Have a wonderful holiday. Please don't forget to review! Good, bad, ugly…I'll take it.**

**If you're looking for something unique and absolutely great, check out ****The Plan ****by QuantumFizzx. It's a quick read and it has received over 6000 reviews since it was first published…nine days ago. She posts in real time and most days there are multiple posts. Check it out – it's fabulous!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! **

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

_Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.__  
~__Randall Terry_

**Chapter 3**

**Home**

**BPOV**

_It was bright. So bright I couldn't make out the things around me. I raised my hands to shield my eyes from the blinding sun. I was on the edge of a magical meadow dotted with purple and yellow wildflowers. The breeze softly blew making my hair swirl around my face. I felt tickling around my ankles and glanced down to see that it was just the hem of my long, flowy, white night gown._

_My long, flowy, white what?_

_Where was I and how did I get here? And why was I dressed like I stepped out of an episode of Little House on the Prairie?_

"_Isabella." My clothing was quickly forgotten as my head shot up to see where the voice was coming from. Once again I needed to shade my eyes from the sun. As they began to focus, I could see two figures across the meadow. I couldn't see their features, but I would know them anywhere. I began to run._

"_Mom! Dad! You're here." I cried as I finally reached them. I flung myself into their awaiting arms. "I thought…they told me…but you're here." I was so relieved. They weren't dead, they were here and they were holding me. It must have all been a nightmare._

"_Oh, Isabella, don't cry. Shhhh." My mother patted my head. "It's okay; everything is going to be okay." I felt instant comfort and relief in her touch. _

"_Renee, we have to go. It's time." My father said as he rubbed circles on my back. I pulled away._

"_Go? Go where? You don't have to go?" The panic was starting to come back._

"_Yes, Izzytizzy, we do have to go. They don't allow dead people to stay on Earth." Normally I would have smiled at the use of my childhood nickname, but I was having a hard time getting past what he had said next._

"_Dead people? So it wasn't a nightmare? It was all true? I've lost you?"_

"_Stop it, Phil. You're upsetting her." My mother, in typical fashion, smacked him on the shoulder. "Isabella, sweetie, we may not be able to stay here with you, but it doesn't mean you've lost us. Trust me when I say that when you need us, we will be there to help you. No matter what happens, we will be with you every step of the way."_

"_But how…?" _

"_That doesn't matter. Just have faith." She looked into my eyes and took my face in her hands. "You, Isabella, are going to do great things, I just know it. Just promise me that regardless of what he does, you never, ever give up. Can you do that for me, sweetie?" My tears made it impossible for me to say anything so I just nodded. "I mean it, Isabella, don't ever give up on the life you deserve." I forced my voice to comply._

"_I won't, Mom. I promise." She smiled in relief._

"_Good girl." She looked over to my dad who was just staring at her. "Okay, now we can go." He nodded and then turned to kiss my temple._

"_We love you, Izzytizzy. Don't ever forget that." I tried to scream in protest, but it wouldn't come. How could they just leave me? I needed them now more than ever. I closed my eyes and shook my head back and forth._

"_No, no! I won't let you…" I wasn't going to let them go. I wouldn't allow it. Opening my eyes with new resolve, the words from my lips faded as I saw that I was alone. They were gone._

"_Mom! Dad! Come back!" I crumbled to the ground and began to shake. But it wasn't an involuntary shaking. Someone was doing the shaking for me._

"Isabella, babe, wake up." I felt strong hands wrapped my arms and I immediately shot up to escape them. James watched me with strange eyes as I backed up against the headboard of the bed. I needed to get as far away from him as possible.

"It's okay. It's just me." He held his hands up in front of him with his palms out defensively. "No one's going to hurt you."

I shook my head in an attempt to clear it. It was slowly all coming back to me.

_The cell phone incident. James making partner. The cocktail party. James' infidelity. Confronting him. The phone call. My parents…oh my God, my parents were killed in a car accident. _

My head shaking got more furious. "No, no, no, no, no, no!" I clutched my arms around my midsection because I was sure that I was breaking apart. I was not going to survive this. James cautiously moved so that he was closer. I immediately flinched when he reached out and softly placed his hand on my face.

"Shhh. It's okay. I'm going to make sure you're okay." I tried to make out any malice in his face but found none. The look of true sincerity was an expression that I hadn't seen on his face in years.

I was…confused.

It must have shown on my face because he sighed before speaking again. "Isabella, I know that things between us have not been great between us." I raised my eyebrow at him. "Okay, they've been fucking horrible and I…I don't even recognize myself anymore. This is not how I saw our marriage going, and I know that it's entirely my fault."

_What the hell?_

"I've been terrible to you since we moved here and I have no excuse. But, babe, when you got the news about your parents I have never been more scared in my life. The look on your face at that moment was horrifying. I recognized that look, because I have put that same look on your face over and over again. What kind of husband am I if I am responsible for putting that expression on my wife's face even once?"

I didn't say anything. This was a lot to take in. James must have seen my silence as skepticism. He picked up my hands so that they were gently encompassed by his. It took all my willpower not to snap them out of his grasp.

"I don't expect you to believe me or trust me. At least not for awhile. But, Isabella, I promise you things are going to be different from now on and one day, I will be able to prove to you just how much I love you." I tried to express my uncertainty about everything he just said but was cut off.

"You don't have to say anything now. I know I have a lot of work to do to earn back your trust. But please, let me be here for you. You don't have to go through this alone. Let me be your rock."

I couldn't just forgive him for two years of mistreatment, but could I let him help me through what was sure to be agonizing? He seemed genuine and I couldn't help admit that I needed someone, anyone, to help me through this. I nodded slightly.

"Okay." He let out a breath in what seemed life relief. "I took the liberty of scheduling flights to Florida for both of us. We still have a few hours before they leave."

"You're going with me?"

"Of course. Rock, remember." I smiled just a little. Not only had he taken the initiative to get me to Florida as soon as possible, he was going with me.

"What about work?"

"I've already called them. They understand. Why don't you start packing and I'll make you a sandwich. You must be hungry."

"Okay." James smiled before turning and heading out. I called his name and he stopped to look back at me. "Thank you. James."

"Your welcome, babe." And with that he was gone. I couldn't even fathom what this all meant. James had been so cruel to me for so long, I didn't know anything else. But today, today he acted like my old James, the one that so long ago had found something worthwhile about me to love. I couldn't think about this now. I just couldn't. Not when…

The sobs came uncontrollably as the news of my parents crushed me once more. They were gone, forever. I hadn't seen them in two years and now I would never see them again. I had to wrap my arms around my midsection to hold myself together. It felt like someone had punched a hole in my chest.

"Here you go, babe." James came in carrying a plate with the sandwich he just made and a soda. "Oh, shit, Isabella, it's okay. Come here." He put the food down and rushed to my side. I didn't even have the energy to react when he put my arms around me. To be honest, I didn't want to push him away. I needed to feel like someone cared about me. I melted into his side and accepted his comfort. He held me, rubbed my arms, and stroked my hair while whispering words of reassurance. When I finally was able to stop crying, he was still there, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Do you think you're ready to eat something? It would be good for you if you could." I nodded and he smiled. "Good. Why don't you eat and tell me what you want to pack. I'll get it and put it in the suitcase."

I watched him as he packed my suitcase. I watched him as he helped me into the cab that was taking us to the airport. I watched him as he took care of checking our luggage and getting our tickets. I watched him as he waited patiently as I put my shoes back on after making it through airport security. I watched him as he asked the stewardess for an extra pillow and a blanket so that I could get some sleep on the plane. He took care of everything and still made it a point to be tender with me and make sure that I was okay. I was one-hundred percent baffled, but there was a part of me that enjoyed having my real husband back.

Upon arriving in Florida, we collected our luggage and rented a car. The closer James got to my parents' home, the more panicked I became. I felt my heart begin to race and my throat started to close up. James sensed that I was about to have an epic meltdown. He placed his hand just above my knee and gently rubbed circles with his thumb. Suprisingly, it calmed me enough to suppress the anxiety attack that was about to happen. I even had pulled it together enough to keep my wits about me when he pulled in the driveway.

I stared at the house. It looked exactly the same as when I left. After Dad was injured playing minor league baseball, he had taken a job as a physical education teacher and baseball coach at the local high school. Between his meager salary and my mom's inconsistency with holding down a job, the small ranch in front of me was all they could afford at the time. They kept it up nicely with a well manicured lawn and gorgeous perennials all around, but it still wasn't much.

To me it was home, and nothing, I mean nothing was more beautiful.

"Are you ready to go in?" James said hesitantly. We had been sitting there for well over ten minutes while I just stared. I didn't want to, but I knew I had to. I sighed and nodded.

_Might as well get it over with. You can do this._

We walked up to the front door and I retrieved the key my mom kept under the fake rock. I smiled as I realized that she had never, ever changed her hiding spot. I put the key in the door and pushed it open. James took my hand and waited for me to lead him in. As soon as I crossed the threshold all my senses were attacked.

The house was comfortably lived in and reminders of my parents were everywhere: my father's reading glasses on top of a folded newspaper, my mother's big floppy gardening hat hanging up on a coat rack, pictures of them together, pictures of me when I was little, a used coffee cup with a lipstick stain. I could smell hints of the candles my mother burned nonstop since as long as I can remember. The only sound was the familiar ticking of the grandfather clock that sat in their living room. The ticking seemed to get slower and heavier, like time was slowing down. My head started swirling as a lifetime of memories came flooding back to me. I wanted it to stop. I needed it to stop.

"I need to lie down." I said as I let go of James' hand and headed to the only place I could find solace, my parents' bedroom. I opened the door and breathed in their scent. God, I missed them. How could they be gone?

Climbing onto the bed, I lied down on their pillows and surrounded myself with their comforter. It immediately soothed me and I felt myself calm down until I felt nothing at all.

I went numb.

Day turned into night and then back to day again. I cried, I slept, I stared into nothingness. I was vaguely aware of James coming in to check on me, bringing me food, talking to me, rubbing my back. But I couldn't respond to him. The fog that was weighing me down was also keeping away the pain and that was good enough for me. It wasn't until James was insistent that I wake up that I actually felt something: the need to use the bathroom. Ignoring him I crawled off of the bed and unsteadily headed towards their bathroom.

"Um, the funeral people are coming today." I stopped short and inhaled deeply. I had to plan a double funeral. An overwhelming feeling consumed my body and I fell to my knees. James rushed to my side. "Isabella, don't worry. You don't have to do this. If you want, I can talk to them." The emotion that came over me took me by surprise. I felt angry. Fucking furious to be exact.

"Why would I want you to plan their funeral? You barely knew them and you've made it perfectly clear that you didn't even like them." It came out before I had a chance to filter it through my brain. I snapped my hand up to my mouth and covered it. This was going to piss him off. I was going to get punished right here in my parents' bedroom.

_What the fuck is wrong with you?_

I watched him as he groaned a little, but the punishment never came. Instead he looked at me like I had wounded him. I, Isabella Bennett, had actually hurt my husband and not the other way around. He dropped his head and spoke quietly.

"I know that, and believe me, it's one of my biggest regrets. They were, I mean are important to you and I should have tried harder. Now I never will and I'm so, so sorry. This whole thing has shown me that life is too short to not show people how much you care. You're right. I know I have no right to even pretend like I knew who they were. I just want to make this easier on you."

_And now I feel like the world's biggest ass._

"I'm sorry for being so harsh, James. You've been nothing but wonderful since…we found out and I'm not being appreciative. How about we talk to the funeral people together? I could use the support." He lit up like a kid on Christmas as he walked over and helped me from my knees.

"I think that would be good." I tried to smile a little before going into the bathroom.

A couple hours later I was freaking out, yet again. The funeral guy was an emotionless putz of a man who kept requiring me to answer question after question. Did my parents want to be buried or cremated? Do I already have a plot picked out and if so, at which cemetery? When would I like the calling hours? Which caskets do I want? Donations or flowers? Why type of service was I envisioning? Will I be bringing in my own minister?

James sat next to me and held my hand as I tried to answer the questions as best as I could. As time went on I could feel the numbness come back. I couldn't deal with this anymore. I welcomed the numbness. "Are we done?" I asked after what seemed like a thousand questions.

"Yes, I think that about covers it, except for of course the matter of the bill." Of course, the bill. I couldn't stay there as this asshole put a price on laying to rest the most important people in my entire life. I didn't respond, I just looked at him.

"Babe, why don't you go lay down and I'll finish up here." James knew what I needed him and I had never been more thankful.

"Okay." It was the only word I could force out before walking out of the room and back to my parents' bed. I wrapped their pillows and blankets around me as tight as I possible could.

I don't know how long I laid there as the heavy fog kept me from thinking too much about anything. I knew that James kept coming to check on me but could really care less as I ignored his words and the food he brought. I would have been content to stay there forever, but at one point James was insistent that I wake up again. I just wanted him to leave me alone, but he just fucking wouldn't.

"Isabella, please babe, wake up for me. I need to talk to you about something." I didn't move but managed to open my eyes. He was crouched down on the side of the bed so that his face was eye level with me and he was stroking my hair. "That's my girl. Now, I don't want you to get upset but Mr. Jenks, your parents' lawyer is here. He wants to talk to you about their will, their debts, the house, among other things." I could feel my eyes well up with tears.

"James, I- I just can't. It's too hard."

"I know, babe, I know." He was still stroking my hair.

"Can you do it?" I begged knowing I was just not up to the task. He seemed to think about it momentarily.

"Well, technically I can't unless you give your written permission to act on your behalf. If you want me to, we could arrange it so that I could deal with this legal stuff for you. I'm sure Mr. Jenks would be able to conjure up a limited power of attorney."

"Please, James. I just can't do it and I know nothing about the law. I want you to do it, if you're willing." He smiled at me.

"Whatever you want, babe. I'm glad you're leaning on me a little. I'll go talk to Mr. Jenks." He kissed my forehead and went back to the waiting lawyer. I allowed the fog to take over.

o~o~O~o~o

I awoke with a start and realized from the darkness that it was nighttime. Which night, I'm not quite sure. I was alone and I felt deathly afraid. I needed someone. I needed

James.

I jumped off the bed and headed down the hall to the only room that he could possible be in: my childhood bedroom. I pushed open the door and saw that he was sleeping soundly in my double bed. All I could feel was the fear of being alone and I didn't hesitate as I made my way to the bed and slipped underneath the covers. James woke up with the movement and looked a little surprised that I was there.

"Isabella, are you okay? What's wrong?" He started to sit up and I quickly put my arms around him so that he wouldn't.

"I woke up and I was alone. I was scared."

"Shhh, Isabella. It's okay, babe. I got you." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me so that we were close. He kissed my forehead and it stirred something in me.

I wanted to feel. Something. Anything. I wanted to feel loved.

I turned my head and started placing kisses along his neck.

"Isabella…what are you doing?" James started to pull away. "I don't think we should…" I stopped him before he could say the only words I couldn't bear to hear.

"I need you, James. Please, just be with me. I don't want to be alone." I was pleading with him to take me. It was pathetic and for all the wrong reasons, but I didn't care. With a sigh, he finally conceded and made love to me that night. It was sweet, tender and reminiscent of an earlier time when we were happy together. I clung to every touch, every kiss, and every sensation, trying to forget all the hurt and trying to make myself believe things that weren't true. I knew that deep down that any romantic feelings I had had for James were long gone, but that night it didn't matter. It just felt so good to pretend that I was loved, even if it wasn't real.

I woke up to a cold, empty bed and the sounds of James moving around the room. I opened my eyes to see that he was already dressed. "Why are you already up and dressed? The funeral isn't for several hours. Come back to bed."

"I can't. I have a flight to catch." He didn't look at me and his voice was not the same as it had been the past few days. It was cold and unemotional, and way too familiar.

"Flight?" It was all I could get out.

"Yeah, I'm going home." Again, no emotion or eye contact.

"You're going home now? But the funeral is today. I thought..."

"You thought what, Isabella? That I could just leave work indefinitely?"

"No, but I thought you would at least stay for the funeral. I really need you there."

"Well, that's not happening, babe. I got a call. They need me." He wouldn't even look at me as he began shoving things into his suitcase. I realized at that moment that I had been duped again. I couldn't keep my anger at bay.

"_I_ need you. Remember, your wife? Why the hell are you doing this?"

"Excuse me? You will not address me in that tone, Isabella." The icy glare in his eyes was back. I didn't care.

"I deserve an explanation." He ignored me but I could see the muscles in his jaw flexing. He was mad.

"You have three days to get back to Chicago. I expect you there."

"But what about the house?

"It's all taken care of. Go through the house and mail what you want back home. The rest of it will be sold."

"You're selling my parents' house? What gives you the fucking right?" He stalked over to me until he was inches in front of my face and smirked.

"You did, when you signed that power of attorney. I took care of it all, just like you asked me to. It turns out that Renee and Phil didn't have much to speak of, but didn't have any debts and this house has been paid off. It should bring in a decent price."

So this was what the whole act was all about. He wanted to make sure that I didn't have control over my parents' assets. He manipulated me by making me think that he was going to change. And I bought into it hook, line, and sinker. That money would have allowed me a way out, but I screwed up. I began to trust him again. How stupid could I fucking be?

"You are an asshole." I didn't care if he hit me. I needed to get it out. He was pissed, but somehow controlled himself. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him.

"Three days, Isabella. If you're not there, I _will_ come get you. You don't want that, trust me." He let go of my chin by giving it a shove. Without another word he grabbed his suitcase off the bed and walked out the door.

I sat and trembled for what seemed like an infinite amount of time. He knew what he was doing this entire time and I played completely into his hand. I begged him to take care of the legal issues for me. I begged him to have sex with me. Now I have no money, no dignity, and once again, no life. My parents' final act would have been providing me with enough money to get out of this life with James and start a new one. Instead, because of my own fucking stupidity, I had nothing. I had to go back. There was no other choice.

But before I did, I had to bury my parents and whatever hope I had left.

**Thank you for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Happy New Year, everyone. Things are changing in a big way. Enjoy!**

**AN: I don't own Twilight.**

"_Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress."__  
-__Bruce Barton_

**Chapter 4**

**Clarity**

**BPOV**

The service was beautiful…at least I think it was. There's a lot of it I don't remember.

After James left, I felt myself starting to crumble. I was starting to break under the weight of the fear and panic that welled up inside of me. Why would he do this? Why would he leave me and threaten me in my biggest hour of need? How could he pretend to care about me when in reality he could care less about me? How could he be so cruel and heartless?

_Because that's who James is. You knew that._

Motherfucker, I did know that. I shouldn't be surprised by this, by any of this. Calming down, I sat on the bed and started thinking about what had happened the last few days. When I found out about my parents, we were fighting about him cheating on me. He was three seconds away from hitting me for something ridiculously mundane. I would have given anything at that moment to get away from him, but when that phone rang, everything changed. With my parents gone, James was the only person I had left. Without him, I would be alone and in my warped sense of reality that was a hell of a lot worse than what I was living with on a day to day basis.

So I gave into the fear. I allowed him to take care of me, to comfort me, and to convince me that he wanted to change. I knew I didn't love him anymore and I wasn't even sure I could ever forgive him for all the crap that he had done, but the thought of being alone scared the ever-loving shit out of me. Call me a coward, weak, pathetic, but that fear was very real even if it was irrational. Forgetting James' offenses and learning to be content with our life together was something I thought I thought I could live with, especially if he indeed changed.

It was hard at first letting him get close to me, but I would be lying if I said I didn't start to believe his sincerity. He was so loving, so attentive. It was like the last two years never existed and he was still the James that I fell in love with. It felt good to feel loved again. I hadn't felt that way in so long.

_I should have known all along what he was up to. _

James must have known that there was a chance I would inherit at least the house and maybe some money. It was common knowledge that my parents were not extremely wealthy, but they were comfortable. I had actually been surprised to find that the house was really all they had, but hey, I hadn't been here in two years. How would I know anything about their financial situation? I wasn't even sure where or if my mother had been working recently. It saddened me to think that I knew nothing about their lives now. Unknowingly I had sealed that fate the minute I moved to Chicago. It was a regret I would have to live with for the rest of my life.

Money was a large reason I felt I could never leave James and he knew it. He controlled all of our finances, even my meager paycheck from the library. I never saw any of it unless it was given to me for a specific reason and even then it was in monitored amounts. Financial freedom would have given me the chance at physical freedom and James couldn't let that happen. He needed to keep any inheritance I would receive out of my reach. So he killed me with kindness, admitted his wrongs, and promised a future of change. His whole act was to keep his control over me. And now, because of my incredible stupidity, he had succeeded.

_Way to singlehandedly screw yourself, Bennett._

The rest of the day was pretty much a blur. The panic attack that came on after James had left had given away to the fog and once again I felt numb. It allowed me to go through the motions of getting appropriately dressed and calling a cab to take me to the funeral home. The fog, however, was quickly replaced by anxiety when the funeral director asked about James and I had to tell him he wasn't coming. The look he gave me was confusion at first and then extreme pity when he put two and two together. Having no other family but myself, it was up to me to stand and do this alone. I was left overwhelmed and agitated before a single person walked in the door.

I tried to graciously accept the condolences of people who knew my parents, but I couldn't help myself from having irrational thoughts about all of them. I constantly tried to gauge what people were thinking about me, especially those I remember from my childhood. Some asked about my life in Chicago and questioned the whereabouts of my husband. When I explained that he just made partner and had to work I saw a hybrid of reaction ranging from sympathetic to judgmental. I could see the accusing looks in their eyes, knowing that they were thinking what a horrible daughter I was. I wanted to stand up to them and scream that they were wrong, but that would be a lie. I couldn't defend myself. I had been a horrible daughter.

For the guests I didn't know, I couldn't contain the immense jealousy that boiled inside of me as they explained who they were and how they knew my parents. These people, like my dad's varsity baseball team, knew and interacted with my parents in a way that I hadn't been able to in years. When I left, they took my place in my parents' lives. They conversed with them, learned from them, laughed with them, and benefitted from their love. Seeing them distraught over _my _parents' death made my skin crawl. _ I_ was their daughter and_ I_ should have been the object of their affection and attention. Not them.

_Don't blame them, Isabella. It's your fault. You should have been here._

I was fidgety during the service and found a spot on the floor that seemed fascinating at the time. I barely listened as the minister droned on an on about how tragic it was to lose two young people in the prime of their lives yada, yada, yada. But when he had the nerve to say that we may not understand it but it was all part of God's plan, my eyes snapped up to his. My gaze must have conveyed the anger I felt because his words faltered slightly before breaking eye contact. How dare him. He didn't know my parents personally and it infuriated me that he was trying to justify the senseless death of two wonderful people by saying it was what God wanted. If he was right and this really was all 'God's Plan', then I wanted to take that plan and shove it right up his ass. The minister's, that is. And maybe God's too; he was definitely hovering on the top of my shit list.

When I finally got back to the house I was exhausted in every sense of the word. The cemetery had been the worst. Seeing them lowered into the ground finality gushed over my like a tidal wave.

It was real.

They were gone.

Forever.

Because nothing had been planned, some of my parents friends decided to go to a restaurant to share some stories about Renee and Phil and just be together. They invited me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't really know these people and after today I would never see them again. All I wanted to do was go to the one place I felt close to them and that was home, but once inside, I found that the emptiness in that house was absolutely crushing. I desperately needed a sense of peace, but it never came. That house would no longer provide any comfort for me. It wasn't my childhood home anymore. Phil and Renee had made it home. They had breathed life into that house and without them, it was nothing more than just a house. I had been upset when James had said that it was going to be sold, but now I could have cared less. I went to their bedroom and climbed into their bed without even taking off my clothes and curled their comforter around me. I had never felt so alone.

The next morning I woke up feeling less rested that I had been the night before. Nightmares plagued my dreams making sleep intermittent. I lay awake as the sun finally filtered into the room indicating that it was indeed morning. I needed to get up. I had a lot to do before I left the next day.

James had told me I had three days. He had already arranged the flight and I was expected to be on it. When he warned that he would come get me, I believed wholeheartedly that he meant every word. I also knew that my punishment would be severe at best if I weren't on that flight. I just didn't understand why he felt he needed to threaten me. James had left me a nonrefundable ticket to Chicago and one hundred dollars cash. That's it. I didn't have a credit card or an ATM card. Hell, I didn't even have a checkbook. I had access to none of it and now it looked like I would never see any of the money from the sale of my parents' house either. He made sure of that. So I ask, what the fuck did he think I was going to do? I may have been fooled by his act, but that didn't mean I was completely stupid. I wasn't going to get far with a hundred bucks in my pocket and he knew it. I would be on that plane. He knew that too.

I spent the day going through my parents' things. I didn't have the time to give each item the attention it deserved, but I also couldn't risk leaving anything behind that I might want later just because I didn't have time to really think about it. I decided to pack everything that had the slightest bit of importance, sentimental or otherwise, and wait to examine it more closely when I got back to Chicago. There was no need to make any difficult decisions now. James had told me to pack up what I wanted and leave the rest. He was not going to be happy with the amount of boxes I felt I wanted, but screw him. This was all I had left of my parents and I wasn't about to let him tell me what I could and could not keep.

_So now you're sticking up for yourself? Talk about a day late and dollar short._

I was starting to feel like the end was in sight somewhere around mid-afternoon. I had successfully packed up eighteen wine boxes that I had found in the basement. Apparently, my parents like their liquor…a lot. I filled them with various things ranging from jewelry, pictures, letters, legal papers, personal items, knick knacks, and God knows what else. I really didn't have time to look through it all, but if it looked like something that might help me hang on to them, I packed it.

I was just taping up a box packed with photo albums when I heard the doorbell ring. It startled me so much I just about jumped out of my skin. I did not feel like being social at all, but was curious as to who could be at the door. Glancing out the window I saw a police car in the driveway and immediately felt the dread flood my body. I had no idea what they would have wanted, but I suspected that whatever it was it couldn't be good. Slowly unlocking the door, I opened it to see a rather attractive police officer about my age with a box in his hands.

"Mrs. Bennett?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm her."

"Um, my name is Officer Smith. We talked on the phone the night your parents…um, perished. I'm so sorry for your loss."

"I remember. Please, come in, Officer." He looked sorrowful as he looked at me. This was really hard on him and I felt so bad.

"I'm sorry, I really don't have time right now, but I wanted stop by and give you this. The investigation on the accident has been finished and I have the personal items that have been retrieved from the car. I thought you might want them." I looked at the box without moving. Inside were the last things my parents looked at and touched. I couldn't help the tears that began to fall from my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Bennett. I didn't mean to make you cry." This guy was really very sweet and I felt bad for subjecting him to my sorrow. I reached up to wipe the tears away as I willed myself to stop.

"No, it's okay. It doesn't take much these days." I tried to give a small smile as I took the box off his hands.

"If it's any consolation, I was first on the scene that night. They died instantly and they didn't suffer at all." As much as I wouldn't have thought that nothing would make me feel better, I found his words to be very comforting. It gave me a sense of relief knowing that they didn't feel any pain.

"Thank you, Officer Smith, for that information. It does give me some comfort."

"Goodnight, Ma'am." I returned the sentiment as I closed the door on his retreating form. I walked over to the kitchen table and put the box in the center of it. I just looked at it for a few minutes before deciding that I was being ridiculous.

_Here goes nothing._

The items on top of the box were your everyday car things: a travel mug, a couple of road maps, an umbrella, the normal stuff. However, at the bottom of the box was a smaller one, probably a little bigger than a shirt box, wrapped up in brown paper. It was beat up a little, showing that it had not made it out of the accident completely unscathed. It was a package that had yet to be mailed…to me.

I felt the color drain from my face as I stared at the package in my hands. It had my name on it, but the address was not my home in Chicago. It was addressed to the library where I work.

_What in the world would they be sending to me at work?_

I sat there with the box in my hands for what seemed like an eternity. My parents hadn't mailed anything to me ever because I never gave them my address. I was worried that they would send me something that James didn't want me to have or even worse, show up on my doorstep. But they knew where I worked. That was one topic that I enjoyed talking to my mother about because it was the one area of my life that made me feel normal. It was also something I didn't have to lie about.

Finally I decided just to open it. Obviously it must have been pretty important if my mother felt the need to send it to my work address. My hands shook as I tore away the paper and unsealed the top. Inside, it looked like there was a bunch of paper work, but on top there was an envelope that was clearly marked 'Isabella' in my mother's elegant script. I picked up the envelope and took out the letter inside. I tried to stop the tears that were threatening to spill but just couldn't because in my hand I had a letter that my mother had written to me just before she died. I didn't know what the letter had to say, but I knew that I would cherish every word because it would be the last thing I would ever hear from her.

With a deep breath, I unfolded the piece of paper and began to read.

_Dear Isabella,_

_My beautiful daughter. I'm writing to you because I feel like I have no other choice. For two years I have had the feeling that James has been very controlling and has not let you lead the life I know you had dreamed for yourself. I wanted to think that despite that, you were happy with him and for the most part, he treated you right. I have been a fool, Isabella. I have heard the evilness myself in his words and I know that you are not safe with him. I also know that you, my smart girl, know it too. All this time you refused to accept our help in bringing you home because you knew none of us would be safe if you did. You were protecting us at the expense of your happiness and safety. My job as a mother is to protect you and I should have found a way to keep you safe from him. I am so sorry for failing you._

_Your father and I have decided that you can no longer be with him. Believe me, Isabella, he is not good for you and for every second you stay with him, you are in danger. Bringing you back to Florida is not the answer as he will find you here. You need a new start, a new life, another chance. _

_Your biological father, Charlie Swan, lives in a small town in Forks, Washington. I know, I have never given you any reason to believe that he even existed, but he does. We were young when we married and had you very soon after. I tried, Isabella, I really did. But your father worked all the time and I just felt suffocated. I left him and I took you with me. I broke his heart and to this day, I feel bad for cheating you both out of a a possible relationship. He loved you and even after he gave up on me, he never gave up on you. He called, he sent letters, he begged for me to bring you home, but my fear and immaturity wouldn't allow it. I thought if I went home I would get sucked back into a life that would be the death of me. You were so young at the time I didn't want to confuse you with all of this adult stuff. As time went on and Phil came into our lives, it got harder and harder to tell you the truth. I'm sorry, Isabella, that you had to find out this way, but I'm hoping the secret I kept from you all these years will be your salvation._

_Your father and I want you to go to Charlie and tell him who you are. He's a wonderful man and I'm positive he would be more than thrilled to have a chance to get to know you. It's far away and you could start completely over without James ever knowing where you are. The contents of this box will help you get away and conceal your identity. Please use them, Isabella. Get away from him. Don't ever give up on the life you deserve._

_I know you are probably hurt, angry, and confused from what I have just told you. I promise that once you are truly free from that man and it is safe to contact each other, I will answer every single question you have. But please don't let what you're feeling right now get in the way of you need to do. You, Isabella, are going to do great things, I just know it. Just promise me that you will never, ever give up. _

_We love you always,_

_Mom and Dad_

At some point I had stopped breathing. My eyes rescanned the letter as certain words jumped off the page.

'_Don't ever give up on the life you deserve.'_

'_You, Isabella, are going to do great things, I just know it. Just promise me that you will never, ever give up.' _

My mother had said almost those exact words in my dream. What. The. Hell?

I looked at the rest of the things in the box. I had everything I needed to disappear: Three prepaid credit cards worth a thousand dollars each, a new cell phone with enough minutes to keep me going for a year, a bank book revealing an account with a balance of ten thousand dollars, a check book and an ATM card for that account, a drivers license, a social security card, a birth certificate, and a piece of paper with Charlie's address. Everything they had given me was in the name of a 'Bella Swan'. They had thought of everything. There was even an envelope with a thousand dollars cash inside. I can't imagine what it cost to get these types of documents. I now understood why my parents had so little money to their name. They had risked it all for this one last ditch effort to save me knowing that a thousand things could go wrong and it would all be for nothing. Yet, they still did it…because they wanted to save me.

Oh my God, this was just too much. I read and reread the letter. They feared for my safety. They wanted me to disappear and start over. I have a biological father who wanted to be a part of my life. What the fuck was I supposed to do with that information? I had just assumed that my biological father was a deadbeat dad and yet all that time, he was a good guy that tried but was no match for Renee. I started to get pissed at my mother for keeping this from me all these years but then the guilt for feeling that anger washed over me and made me feel like even more of a horrible daughter than I already knew I was.

I couldn't stop reading the letter over and over, especially the part about my Charlie. I don't remember him at all. I don't remember asking my mother about him either. Phil was so great it was very easy to just accept him as my father. I obviously didn't feel the need to know about my real one. But the fact that he was devastated when we left made me feel awful for never giving him a thought. He had tried. Renee said so herself; he called, he sent letters.

_He sent letters!_

I rushed over to the boxes I had packed and looked them over until I found the one labeled 'papers'. I had put stacks of letters in there figuring I would read them when I got back to Chicago. I ripped the tape off the box and anxiously reached in to pull everything out. I finally got to a stack of opened letters held together by a rubber band. Looking at the front envelope, I saw that they were addressed to Renee Swan. And holy shit, the return address indicated that they were sent from a C. Swan in Forks, Washington.

I hesitated a second wondering if this was a violation of privacy, but the need to know quickly dispelled those thoughts. I spent the next few hours reading every single letter Charlie Swan had sent to my mother. Each one was more heartbreaking than the next as Charlie's desperation and despair became more and more intense. He missed me. He wanted to see me. He loved me. He begged to be a part of my life. He even enclosed a picture in one for me to have. I choked back tears as I could see myself in his face, especially in the eyes. We had the same eyes.

My heart started to race as I began to see red. How could my mother do this to me? To him? She must have had her reasons and I would have been willing to listen to every fucking one objectively, but she's gone. I will never know why she really decided to keep me from my father who obviously wanted me in his life. I wanted to yell at her and ask her why. I wanted to be furious with her. I wanted her to be here so I could confront her and get the answers I fucking deserved.

I collapsed to the floor as my anger subsided and the guilt once again replaced it. "I'm sorry I'm angry, Mom. I'm sorry. But why didn't you tell me?" I waited for an answer that I knew I would never get. In the silence, I pulled myself from the floor and walked over to the table. I started looking through all of the scattered items. My eyes jumped to all the different things; the documents, the money, Charlie's letters, and finally my mom's letter.

'_I'm sorry, Isabella, that you had to find out this way, but I'm hoping the secret I kept from you all these years will be your salvation.'_

My salvation. Could Charlie and a new life in Forks be my salvation? I wouldn't be known as Isabella Dwyer Bennett. I would be known as Bella Swan. I could be and do anything I want. James would not be able to find me.

At that moment, clarity hit me like lightening and I knew what I had to do. I was getting the fuck away from my sadistic husband and I was going to accept the help my parents had so carefully planned to do it. I would not deny them this one last wish.

I found myself frantically going through some of the boxes and taking out a couple things that I knew I wanted such as some of my mom's jewelry, my dad's MVP ring from one of his minor league seasons, and a picture of the three of us when I was younger. I also looked to make sure there was no evidence that Charlie existed in any of my mom's paperwork. It was a good thing I did as I had found their divorce agreement among her files.

I spent the entire night combing each box. I didn't tape them back up, but I did close and stack them against a wall. I also went through every room of the house, being careful to put it back together when I was done. I didn't want to tip anyone off that I had been looking for something. By early morning, I had two suitcases packed. One was the one I brought down here that held all of my clothes and personal items. The other held all of my parents' things that I wanted to keep. It had been grueling, but I was leaving knowing that there wasn't anything in the house that could tie me or my mom to Charlie Swan. By the time James realized I wasn't coming home, I would be long gone.

I called a cab and sat down in my father's chair near the front window to wait. I could still smell him on it and I wanted to cry. I missed them so much and even though this house didn't really mean anything to me now, I realized that these were the last few minutes I would ever have here.

"I miss you guys and I love you so much. I'm going to make you proud." I said out loud hoping that somewhere my parents were listening. Movement in the driveway caught my eye and I looked out the window to see that the cab was there. I stood up, grabbed my suitcases, and took one more look around while opening the door.

"I promise."

Closing the door behind me, I headed toward the cab. The driver took my suitcases and put them in the trunk.

"Where to, Ma'am?" he said as he shut the door and started the car. I didn't look back as we pulled away from the house. There was no looking back. Only forward.

"The airport, please."

**Any opinions you have of this story or this chapter in particular are welcome and wanted. I appreciate anything you have to say! Thanks! ~Isannah**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to those of you who have been here from the beginning and also to those who start reading this story today. I appreciate you all!**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

"_The price for independence is often isolation and solitude." _

_~Steve Schmidt_

**Chapter 5**

**On My Own**

**BPOV**

Bravery or stupidity.

One of those things got me where I am right now. Where am I now? I have absolutely no fucking clue.

I arrived at the airport and quickly purchased a ticket for the first plane that would get me the closest to Forks, which happened to be Seattle. I had been nervous throughout the whole process as I used my prepaid credit card and showed my new driver's license to people at various checkpoints. I was so fearful that card would be denied or someone would see that my license was a fake, but none of that happened. It worked…like a charm.

_God, what if I was a terrorist?_

Once on the plane, I still couldn't relax. Everyone around me made me nervous, even the stewardess when she offered me something to drink. I knew I was being irrational, but I felt like all eyes were on me and they all knew my secret. I didn't sleep. I didn't watch the movie. I didn't even eat my peanuts. I just annoyed the hell out of the woman next to me with my bouncing knee, frantic eyes, and heavy breathing.

_So much for blending in._

We landed around four in the afternoon. I retrieved my suitcases at baggage claim and then headed over to one of the car rental booths to get the most inconspicuous, normal car possible. I did not want to draw any attention to myself at all, especially if I was going to be stalking my biological father. The guy taking care of me was smarmy and trying so hard to put ever single sexual innuendo possible into a conversation about renting a car. I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible so I even endured his endless attempt at persuading me into renting a flashy sports car by saying that he was positive a girl like me knew how handle heavy equipment. But the second he grazed my forearm with his thumb indicating that he was really talking about his own heavy equipment and not the car, I immediately tensed up and pulled back my arm. He responded by bringing his hand up to run through his hair but the motion was too familiar and it made me flinch. He wasn't going to hit me, but my reaction was as if he were about to. It pissed me off. Even hundreds of miles away, James still could make me flinch.

_This shit was stopping…now_.

I knew two things at that moment. First, I didn't want him touching me, ever. Second, for the first time in a long time I felt like it was my prerogative to feel that way. My body, my rules. Which meant this guy needed to back the fuck off.

Snapping out of my epiphany and narrowing my eyes, I calmly explained to him that _I_ was positive that a _guy_ like him would have plenty of time to handle his own heavy equipment if he lost his job due to a sexual harassment charge.

I got my four-door beige sedan very, very quickly after that. I was pleased with myself feeling like I had just won a battle, not the whole damn war mind you, but even I knew that would take time. I drove away on a high of personal success and feeling pretty confident. That is until I realized I had no idea where I was going. My plan had been to ask the car rental guy for some directions, but obviously that option went out the window as soon as he touched me.

So that brings me to where I am at the moment. In the middle of fucking nowhere. I had stopped at a gas station and bought a map. The woman working the counter gave me some general directions so I knew which way I should be headed, but the farther I got away from Seattle, the more desolate it became. The pouring rain had made driving more than difficult and it didn't help that I hadn't operated a car in over two years. However, it became almost impossible when the sun went down and it was pitch dark.

I. Was. Lost. Not the 'oh I made wrong turn but eventually I'll see something I recognize' lost. I was 'no one will find my decaying body for months' lost. Except for the road there was nothing around except dense forest. I wanted to be brave and independent, but that ship was quickly sailing and panic was setting in. I was way in over my head. I had been driving for almost five hours and hadn't seen any sign of civilization for the last two. I was getting low on gas and hadn't eaten anything since before I got on the plane. Tears starting to form in my eyes as I thought about how I was going to die out here.

"Not the future you were thinking of, huh Mom?" I chuckled as tears started to spill from my eyes.

_Great, now you're talking to your dead mother while laughing and crying at the same time. Freakin' nut case._

The absurdity of it all made me laugh even harder and I really thought that I might just be going insane. Thankfully, there was something ahead that quickly distracted me from that line of thinking. I strained my eyes to see what was out there in the distance.

Lights.

_Holy fucking shit. Lights!_

I stepped on the gas willing it not to be a figment of my imagination. Turns out it wasn't. Luck happened to be on my side…for once. A small motel just appeared out of the middle of nowhere and was calling to me like heroin to an addict. I pulled into the parking lot and saw that it seemed to be old, but it was kept up and the presence of potted flowers even attempted to make it look homey. Grabbing my wallet, I got out of the car and headed over to the front office. It too was outdated, but clean. An older Native American man sat behind the desk watching a small black and white television. When he saw me come in, he turned the set off and smiled as he refocused his attention. He didn't get up and I soon figured out it was because he was in a wheelchair.

"Good evening. Can I help you?" His face was kind and sincere.

"Um, do you have any rooms available?

"We sure do, Ma'am. Single or double?"

"I'd like a single please."

"No problem. That will be $49.99 and I need to see a valid ID." I counted out the money and fished in my wallet for my license when it struck me that there was a possibility this guy might know Charlie. The chances were slim as I wasn't even sure I was still in the state of Washington, but I couldn't take any chances. There was no way I could give him anything that said Swan on it. I also didn't want the name Bennett linked to any transaction either. Digging a little further I found my old driver's license from when I was living in Florida. I had never bothered to get a new one in Chicago because I didn't have a car. Or was allowed to drive. Or had any responsibilities that would require me to have a photo ID.

_How could I have been so blind all those years? Hindsight really is an evil bitch._

I handed the money and the license over to the man as he punched some things onto his computer. "Wow, Florida, huh? You're a long way from home."

"You could say that." That was about all I had to say on the subject and thankfully he dropped it.

"Are you passing through or do you think you might need the room for more than a few nights?" What was with the fucking fifty questions? The place was deserted. A hundred people could show up and there would still be rooms available. He didn't seem to be that delusional, which only left one possible option. He was trying to subtly get my story.

_Not happening, buddy._

"Um, I'm not quite sure. I think I'll be leaving tomorrow, but there's a chance I'll need another night. Will that be a problem?" I probably sounded curt and annoyed but I hope it gave him the hint that I didn't want to talk about my circumstances for being here, wherever the fuck here is.

"Shouldn't be." I think he sensed my irritation because he went on to explain. "It's just that we have a big wedding in town next weekend and we're already pretty booked. Since you're not sure I'll reserve the room through the weekend for you so that it doesn't get given away."

_I. Am. Such. An. Ass._

"I'm sorry, it's just been a long day and I haven't had anything to eat in awhile. I'm a little cranky. I didn't mean to be rude."

"Don't mention it. We all get a little cranky when we're hungry. Heck, if my son doesn't get enough to eat he turns into an absolute animal. Jake gets nasty towards everyone and nothing can appease him except food. We serve five meals a day just for that reason."

"Wow, five meals. That seems excessive." I don't know why but this man's story about his son and his obvious affection towards him made me smile a little. He was a nice man.

"It's just called being proactive." My stomach decided to choose that moment to let out a big growl and both I and the man laughed. "I think you need to get yourself something to eat. Five miles down the road is a diner just when you're coming into town. It's open until midnight and the food is real good.

"Okay, thanks, I think I will."

"You're in room twenty-three. Just drive your car around back and it's on the second floor."

"Thank you so much for everything, uh…" I realized I didn't even know the man's name.

"It's Billy and if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." I smiled and turned for the door. "And Miss Dwyer..." he waited until I had opened the door and turned to acknowledge him. "Welcome to Forks." I know the look on my face was probably of fucking priceless. I had been lost for so long and yet I ended up exactly where I wanted to be.

_Thank you, God!_

"Thanks, again." I said back and started sprinting towards my car. The rain had still not let up. I drove around back like Billy had said and got into my room. Again, a little outdated, but clean. I really wanted to take a shower but looking at the clock I saw that it was close to eleven and I needed food. The shower would have to wait until after the diner.

Just like Billy said, the diner was still open and I was extremely thankful. Now that I knew I wasn't going to die on the side of the road, my hunger decided it should be bumped up to my first priority. I was starting to feel like I was going to pass out. I entered and looked around. It looked like an old fashioned restaurant that you might see in the 1950's. Everything was authentic, everything was perfect. I immediately fell in love with it.

The only other customers were a couple that was sitting on the same side of a booth in a corner. They were so engrossed in each other and didn't even notice that I entered. I sat in a booth away from them and quickly an older woman with pulled back caramel colored hair and a pink apron approached the table with a steaming pot of coffee and a white mug.

"Hi, sweetie. Looks like you could use something warm. Coffee?" She was my new favorite person on the planet. I was soaked from all the rain and felt the cold all the way to my bones. I nodded as she filled the cup. The smell was enough to begin thawing out my insides. "Are you interested in food, Hun?"

"Yes, please. I haven't eaten in ages. Do you have a menu or something?"

"Well, if you haven't eaten in that long, why don't you just tell me what you're in the mood for and I'll make sure we get it for you." I wasn't sure why she was being so nice to me, but her kindness reminded me of my mother. I swallowed the lump that began to form in my throat.

_Not now, Isabella._

"Could you make a cheeseburger and fries?" I had been craving a cheeseburger since Billy had mentioned it and I was pretty sure it was a common menu item for a diner.

"One cheeseburger and fries coming right up. You just relax. By the way, my name is Esme and if you want anything else just holler. Okay?" Her smile was so warm and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay, thanks." I watched as she made her way back to the kitchen. I didn't really want to think about what I was going to do now that I was in Forks, so I began reading the book I had taken from my room in Florida before I left. _Wuthering Heights_ had been one of my favorites and I couldn't bear to leave it behind.

I had read about ten pages when the door flew open and a group of five or six guys bounded in. They were big, they were loud, and from the sounds of it, they were drunk: a combination that gave me the shivers. I sunk further into my booth and buried my face in the book as far as it would go. I prayed that they wouldn't notice me. This was such a bad idea.

They made themselves comfortable in a booth on the other side of the diner which made me relax just a little, but I still wouldn't look at them. They were laughing at some of their antics from earlier in the night and I thought I was in the clear.

Between my hair shielding my face around me and my nose being so far in the book, I hadn't realized that someone had approached me until I felt the table shake and heard a thud when one of the men plopped into the bench across from me. It made me practically jump right out of my skin.

"Why hello there, lovely lady. My friendshs and I shaw that you were s-s-s-itting here all by yurself. We were wondering if you'd like to joing ushhh." Oh, good grief. He was plastered. What the hell was I supposed to do now?

_Stand up for yourself just like you did with asshole car guy. Your body, your rules. Remember? You can do it. They can't hurt you._

My inner voice was right. I would just politely decline and if he insisted, I would bring out bitchy Bella.

_Bitchy Bella: sort of has a nice ring to it.._

I brought the book down so that I could explain to Mr. Smashed Faced that I wasn't interested in his proposal. "I'm sorry but…." I stopped short when my eyes met a blondish haired, blue eyed reincarnate of James. Well, maybe he didn't look exactly like James, but close enough. I panicked. I was wrong, I couldn't do this. I stared at him with a horrified look on my face but he was so far gone he couldn't take the hint. He just kept looking at me with a goofy grin, waiting for me to continue. I couldn't do anything. I was frozen and clutching my book in a death grip. Before I knew it, another one of the brew crew was standing at the table. My breathing picked up and I was bordering on hyperventilating.

"Okay there, Mike. Let's leave the lady alone." I looked up to see another pair of piercing eyes staring at me except they were the most magnificent shade of green. His hair was a coppery color and was a wild, beautiful mess. He had his hand on the other guy's shoulder but addressed me. "Sorry for this. He's getting married next week and tonight was his bachelor party. We're ending the night here for coffee. A lot of coffee." I still couldn't move or speak.

"Ah, c'mon Edward. We were just gettin to knoweashother. Isn'that right, beuful?" And then he reached over and placed his hand over mine. My eyes immediately darted to the sweaty palm that was invading my personal space.

_Fuck that._

I yanked my arm back and grabbed my stuff. Pushing past the other guy I bolted out the door and ran for the car. Once inside with the doors locked, I melted. What was wrong with me? They hadn't done anything completely out of line and the one guy was even trying to be nice. Would I always be this scared? I rested my head on the steering wheel and wrapped my arms around myself as I tried to calm down. It was somewhat working too, until I heard knocking on my window.

"Ohmygod!" I jumped in my seat and screamed. The green-eyed guy took a step back and put his hands in the air in a defensive stance. He had a white grocery bag in one of them.

"You left without your food. They packed it up. I was just trying to catch you." He spoke a little loudly so that I could hear him through the window. I wanted to just start the car and drive away, but he did have my food and I was about two steps away from eating my own arm. Slowly I unrolled the window just enough so he could pass the bag through.

"Hey, are you okay? I'm really sorry about that in there. Mike, he's drunk but totally harmless."

"I'm fine, don't worry about it. Let me get you some money." I opened my wallet and pulled out a twenty.

"No, it's on me. I at least owe you that." My stomach started to turn. If he paid for my dinner because of something stupid his friend did, I would feel like it was really_ I_ who owed _him_. I did not want be in anybody's debt, not now, not ever. I turned the car on before tossing the twenty out the window.

"Thanks, but not necessary." I closed the window as his face dropped and a mix of shock and hurt replaced the smile that had been there a minute before. I hadn't meant to offend him, but that kind of interaction was just dangerous. I had been so dependent on James for so long and look where it got me. I was never going to let myself become too reliant on anyone else ever again, not even for a stupid hamburger and fries. I was in charge of my own life now and I would be responsible for it too.

When I got back to the motel and had locked myself in my room, I didn't even take my jacket off before diving into my food. It was a little on the cold side, but it was the most delicious cheeseburger and fries I had ever eaten in my entire life. I devoured the whole container of food in record time and then proceeded to get the things I needed out of my suitcase to take a shower. The warm water felt glorious as it eased the ache in my muscles caused by the plane ride, the car ride, and all the stress I had been feeling. I thought about the days events. Yesterday I buried my parents. Last night, I found out my biological father was alive and had never wanted to let me go. This morning, I had made my escape. It had all happened so fast and yet at the same time it seemed like a life time ago.

From what I had seen of this town so far, it seemed like a place I could make a life for myself. Billy and Esme had been so kind. If everyone was like them, I'd have no problems. The whole Mike thing I could have done without, but now that I was away from the situation I knew that he wasn't going to hurt me, he was just enjoying his bachelor party. He was harmless. Even his friend, Edward I think it was, had said that.

Edward. Now I'd be lying if I didn't admit that he intrigued me a little. No question, he was attractive, gorgeous even. Plus he had been quite nice to me, a couple of times. He tried to save me from Mike's drunken ass, he brought me my food, and he wanted to pay for it. In the beginning, James had done nice things like that for me too, but it always seemed like he was just doing it to prove that he was a good guy. On the other hand, it didn't appear that Edward was forcing himself to be nice. It seemed like it was just part of his personality. At least it did for the forty-five seconds I interacted with him.

Well, it didn't matter anyway because I was not looking for any type of companionship. I also had bigger things to worry about. Tomorrow I was going to find Charlie. The thought excited and terrified me at the same time. What if I couldn't find him? What if I did and he really didn't want to have anything to do with me? What if he turned out to be a complete asshole? What if he didn't live here anymore? What if he didn't think the way I left was right and he contacted James and informed him of my whereabouts?

_Stop! Don't do this to yourself. Mom wouldn't have told you to go to him if she wasn't sure it would work out._

My thoughts were getting out of hand and I forced myself to stop them immediately. I just needed to take this one step at a time. I had gotten this far, right?

_Don't ever give up on the life you deserve._

My mom's words soothed me and helped me forget about the what ifs. I got under the covers and took a deep breath to relax. A vision of Charlie and I embracing in a hug lingered in my mind as I drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow would be another full day in beginning my new life.

**Are you relieved that we've finally met Edward? I know I am. Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

**You guys are amazing! Seriously, thank you for all the love you have given this story. Words cannot express my gratitude! **

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

"_To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there.__"_

_~Kofi Annan_

**Chapter 6**

**The Slice of Apple Pie**

**BPOV**

I woke up the next morning feeling only slightly better than I did the night before. Sleep eluded me as I tossed and turned with a thousand thoughts rattling through my head. It was technically my first night away from anything that I knew and I couldn't figure out how I felt about it. I wanted to feel relieved, safe, happy, and free, but those were words to describe someone who wasn't running from an abusive and controlling husband or the despair from losing their parents to a horrible accident. Instead I felt nervous and jumpy. I wanted to look forward to the future, but found it difficult to do while the past was still looming behind me. Would I ever be able to let my guard down or was I doomed to a life of feeling the constant need to look over my shoulder and anticipate the worst? I had no idea and it didn't sit with me well at all.

My stomach growled letting me know that the cheeseburger and fries were gone and I was once again empty. I sighed when realizing that my only option was to go back to the diner. I was a little nervous about revisiting the place where I made my little scene, but I also knew the chances of running into any of the people I saw last night were extremely slim. Drunken people slept in, right? Besides, it was worth the risk. I was fucking hungry.

Without dwelling on it, I showered, dressed, and headed out the door. The diner was a little fuller than it had been last night. Obviously this was a hot place for people to get coffee and breakfast on their way to work. Or maybe the only place. It was quite possible.

I walked in to see that Esme was working yet again this morning. I internally cringed when I saw the look of recognition flash across her face. I tried to hide my embarrassment but my cheeks grew warm and I could only imagine I was as red as a watermelon.

"Hi, sweetie. I was hoping you would come back." Her expression was one of upmost sincerity and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Hi, Esme. I'm…I'm sorry for running out of here last night. I guess I kind of freaked." I looked at the ground because I wasn't sure how she was going to react.

"No worries, honey. Why don't you find a seat and I'll bring you a cup of coffee." She was off waiting on other customers before I could respond. The booth I sat in the night before was free so I went over and sat myself down. I quickly surveyed the room for any sign of the drunken musketeers and was satisfied when I didn't see any. I relaxed a little and picked up the menu that was already set on the table. Everything looked so good I forgot my surroundings and didn't notice when Esme approached me. Her arm holding the coffee pot caught in my peripheral vision and I jumped at being startled.

"You okay, hun? You look like you've seen a ghost. I didn't mean to scare you." She continued to poor the coffee while she spoke.

"No, it's not you. It's me. I guess I'm just a bit tense." I looked up at her and she nodded. Now, there is no way she could have known what I had been through, but the look of understanding bordered on freakishly psychic. Her eyes held a level of comprehension that made me think she could relate to my situation.

_Impossible. _

"Have you thought about what you want?" I don't know if it was her expression or the way she asked the question, but somehow I didn't think she was asking me about breakfast.

_What did I want? What did I really want?_

It had been a very long time since someone asked me what I wanted. Now that the question was out there, the floodgates opened and flashes of things I craved for myself assaulted my brain like rapid fire. I could see myself and the things I wanted to own, doing the things that I wanted to do, enjoying the things that made me happy.

I wanted to be an independent woman. I wanted to spend my own money, occasionally on something frivolous. I wanted friends I could laugh and cry with. I wanted to live in a house where I could have a garden. I wanted to learn how to play a musical instrument. I wanted a family I could call my own. I wanted a career in teaching. I wanted to travel to another country. I wanted to own a dog. I wanted to make my own choices and learn from my own mistakes. I wanted to live without the fear of being hit. I wanted to love…and be loved.

_Am I asking for too much?_

"Sweetie, you there?" Esme's voice brought me back to the present and I realized that I needed to give her an answer.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'll have the ham and cheese omelet please."

"Excellent choice, dear. I'll put the right in for you." Esme patted my arm before walking towards the kitchen. I read my book while I waited for my food to try and distract me from the overwhelming hunger that was gnawing at my stomach. When it arrived, I practically inhaled it which earned a hearty chuckle from Esme.

"I guess you liked it." She said as she started to clear my plate.

"That was absolutely delicious." Esme smiled.

"Can I get you anything else?" I started battling with myself over something I had seen the night before but never had the chance to try. Isabella, the girl that always did what she was told and never took any chances out of fear said that it was way to early in the day for pie. However, Bella, the girl who wanted to make her own choices and was given a second chance to do so said 'fuck it.'

Bella won out. I was having pie at eight thirty in the morning.

"Do you have any of the apple pie from last night left?"

"I'm sorry, sweetie, I just gave the last piece away. But I do have banana crème, pecan, and peach cobbler. Can I interest you in one of those?" I tried not to let the disappointment show on my face. At this point, it really wasn't about the pie. Of course one of the first times I make a decision that only involved what I wanted, I pick something impossible. It reminded me that a lot of times there are going to be things that are out of my control and I'm going to have to just deal with it.

_It's just fucking pie. Just order a different kind and move on._

"Sure, I'll have a piece of the peach cobbler." I smiled to let Esme know I was fine before she left to get me my morning dessert. Once again I became engrossed in my book and once again I jumped when someone approached the table. This time the offender sat down across from me in the booth. After my heart went back into a normal rhythm and I regained my composure, I narrowed my eyes at the green-eyed, messy haired man who was smiling at me.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Good morning to you too, Miss Grouchy McPouty Face. Did someone get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Geez. Was this guy for real?

"Um, I don't ever remember inviting you to sit, so feel free to save yourself from my grumpy ass. Make like a tree and leave." He smiled but made no attempt to get up.

"Are you always this irritable?"

"That depends. Are you always this irritating?"

"If I were you I wouldn't insult me considering I have the very last piece of apple pie." That got my attention. I looked at the table to see that there was indeed a very large, very delicious looking slice of home baked apple pie sitting on top. I wanted that fucking pie. Not only was it all sorts of delectable looking, it was a symbol of my quest to make my own decisions and do whatever the hell I wanted to do without someone telling me I couldn't. I knew it was fucking ridiculous, but to me in some twisted way it represented my newfound independence.

Keeping my eyes on the pie, I said the only thing that came to mind. "Esme said it was all gone."

"It is. This is the very last piece and I ordered it first. Esme told me how disappointed you were that you weren't going to be able to try it so I thought I'd be the nice guy and come over here and share." I didn't say anything so he continued. "I'll make you a deal. I'll give you this incredibly awesome piece of pie if you tell me your name." The plate made a scraping noise as he slid it across the table so that it was in front of me. I looked down at it and then back up to his hopeful eyes.

Years of being treated like utter shit made me blind to the kindness behind his gesture. I could only see the manipulation. Suddenly the meaning of the pie changed. He was using it to get me to do something I didn't want to do. And I wasn't fucking having it.

"I don't make deals, especially with strange men I don't know anything about." I started to gather my stuff so I could pay my bill and leave but I instantly froze as he grabbed my wrist. I looked down to where his hand was gripped and then slowly up to his face. My expression was one of complete horror and he could tell he made a mistake. He released me instantly and then held his hands up defensively, for the second time in as many days. I _almost _felt bad about how rude I was acting, but he touched me and that was just unacceptable.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. You don't have to tell me your name. You can have the pie. I just thought, well, that since you were new in town that maybe you could use, um, a friend or something. Please don't leave. If you do Esme will know that I didn't just give you the pie like she told me to and she'll kick my ass. And I do mean literally kick my ass. Please, sit, eat the pie. You don't have to say a word." I looked at the door and back down at his pleading face.

_God, he really is cute when he's rambling. Wait, what are you thinking? Stop that!_

After a country minute of contemplating, I figured it wouldn't hurt to just eat the pie and enjoy it. Esme wanted me to try it and she had been so nice to me. And really, Edward was just trying to be friendly, I guess. It wouldn't kill me to stay and eat the pie.

_Good Lord, just eat the fucking pie and shut up, Swan. Stop overanalyzing the shit out of this!_

I sat back down with a huff and picked up the fork. I reminded myself that it was still my choice. I was going to eat the pie, for a lot of reasons including the fact that it looked so good. My teeth sunk into the first bite and I realized that it not only looked good, it was probably the best apple pie I had ever had. I think I even moaned a little.

"It's good, huh?" I just took another bite and continued eating the little slice of heaven. When it was obvious that I was going to take Edward up on the no talking, he decided that he would more than make up for it. "Well, since you aren't really into the sharing mood, let me tell you a little about myself." I raised my eyebrows at him but it didn't deter him whatsoever. "My name is Edward Anthony Cullen and I've lived in Forks all my life. My father is a physician and owns his own family practice next door. I also went to medical school and currently I'm completing my residency at Forks Hospital. Once I'm finished I plan on joining my father's practice. I have an older brother who is bigger than you and I put together and a younger sister who acts like she is on speed but is really only high on life. My mother owns this diner and makes the best apple pie in the world, which you now know for yourself. I can play the guitar but my musical instrument of choice is the piano. I like the color blue, my favorite food is eggplant parmesan, and I hate it when people let their teeth scrap against their fork. I also drive a Volvo. I think that about sums it up." Once he was done, he folded his arms on the table. He looked proud at what he had just done and I was pretty sure he was puffing his chest out a little.

"What the hell was that?"

"What?" He gave me this innocent face

"The life story."

"I wanted to get out of the 'strange men you don't know anything about' category." His answer totally through me for a loop and I started to do something that I hadn't done in a real long time. I laughed. Out loud. And it felt good. "Well am I, you know, out of that category now?" I laughed even louder.

"Getting a little ahead of yourself, don't you think cowboy? I mean, it sounded like a single's ad…" He cut me off.

"Which I am by the way…single I mean. In case you find that relevant."

"You're too much." I said as I scraped the last bit of pie into my mouth. I wiped my face on my napkin and put it on the plate. Take away all the symbolism behind the pie and it was just deliciously good motherfucking pie.

It had been so long since I heard the sound of my own laughter I hardly even recognized it. It felt good and as much as I hated to admit it, Edward Cullen was…nice. I was enjoying his company so much that I didn't notice the man walking it the diner until he sat at the counter and Esme spoke to him. His back was to me and I couldn't see his face, but something about him piqued my interest.

"Good morning, Chief. Coffee?"

"You're a God sent, you know that Esme?"

"Well we can't have Forks finest falling asleep on the job, now can we?" Esme said as she poured the steaming hot liquid into a cup in front of her patron. The man brought the cup up to his lips and took a sip.

"That's good stuff, Esme. Thank you."

"Anytime, Chief Swan." The words fell from her lips and rang in my ears. The man sitting at the counter, not twenty feet away from me, was my father. It was Charlie Swan.

I felt like all the air was sucked out of me as it all sunk in. I was in the same room with my father. All I had to do was cross the room and talk to him. But I couldn't. I was frozen. I wasn't ready for this and I was certainly not able to tell him about James. He was not just a police officer; he was the mother fucking chief of police. I had in my possession falsified documents and identification. I had a fake alias. I was running away from my marriage. I was breaking the law. How could I approach him now?

I was starting to panic hardcore. This was not how it was supposed to go. Edward must have sensed my distress. "Hey, are you still with me?" I looked at him and then back at my father. He must have disliked my reaction because he reached over and looked like he was about to take my hand. I pulled it back instinctually and wrapped my arms around me.

_I have to get out of here._

"What's the matter? Are you okay?" I ignored him as I grabbed my book and ran out the door. All I could think of is getting away. I started running for the car, cursing myself for parking it across the lot in the furthest spot away. I could sense Edward following me and it just made me move faster.

"Wait, stop, you forgot your wallet!" That was the only thing that could have stopped me because that wallet held everything I needed. I looked back to see that Edward was holding up my black wallet. As much as I didn't want to go back I had to. I ran up to him and snatched it out of his hand. I started to run towards my car but he was too fast and grabbed my wrist again. "Please, don't go. You're upset. Whatever it is, I want to help." As much as I wanted to let someone help me, I just couldn't. I wrestled my wrist out of his grasp and started to run again.

In my haste to get away from everything, I tripped over my own two feet and went skidding hands first across the pavement. I could feel the skin ripping from my palms and the bruises forming from the impact on my knees. I gingerly shook my head. I needed to get it together. I didn't have time for this.

"Watch out!" I could here Edward's voice ring out along with some other noise. It sounded like a loud truck, which is what I saw as I looked up. A large black Hummer was quickly approaching me and not slowing down. I managed to get up to my feet but they wouldn't move. The driver must have seen me as the brakes started screeching and the tires skidded on the asphalt. There was no way I was going to be able to get out of the way on time. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the impact. If it was going to hit me, I didn't want to see it.

_I'm coming to see you, Mom._

I waited and waited, but didn't feel anything and soon I didn't hear anything either. I figured that it had been quick and I was killed instantly which is why I felt no pain. Slowly I opened my eyes expecting to see the pearly gates, God, my mom, just something that would indicate that I was indeed dead. Instead I found myself looking into the eyes of the most petrified eyes behind the windshield. His hands were gripped around the steering wheel squeezing the life out of it and he was breathing so heavy I thought he was having a heart attack. He just stared at me with the most freaked out, scared shitless expression on his face. He had been able to stop that pile of metal just barely in time. Granted it was about a foot from me, but it stopped. I wasn't dead; at least I didn't think I was. God had a history of messing with me before. Who is to say he wasn't pulling the mother of all pranks now.

_If I am dead and this is Heaven, I'm fucking coming for you, God. You and I are gonna brawl. I've had enough of this crap._

"Holy fucking shit! Are you okay?" I was pulled out of my own head by the sound of Edward's voice. He ran over to me in a flash and was delicately assessing my physical state. My whole head felt full and heavy and it prevented me from speaking. All I could do was watch as he checked for broken bones, open wounds, and other injuries. His warm hands left tingles wherever they touched. He was looking at the abrasions on my hands as the driver jumped out of the truck and frantically ran to my side. I involuntarily flinched and moved closer to Edward as this man's massive form approached me. It must have surprised him as much as it surprised me because he stopped doing anything for just a moment before starting in on the giant. "Emmett, what the fuck, man?"

"I swear to God I didn't see her. She just popped out of nowhere. Oh, fuck is she hurt? Shit, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I looked at him but that was all I could do. I still couldn't speak. Edward continued his doctor mode and started asking me some basic questions. It took an enormous amount of effort to turn my attention back to Edward and I still felt dazed and unable to verbalize the answers to his questions or that I was okay. For some reason I hated the concerned look on his face and wanted to make him feel better, but I just couldn't. I couldn't do anything.

The commotion had attracted most of the people from inside and they started pouring out the door. Esme, the other waitresses, some of the customers, they were all there to gawk at me and the scene that was unfolding in the parking lot. I should have been concerned that I was getting all this attention. I didn't want to be noticed, I didn't want to draw suspicion. However, my body was unwilling to respond.

The crowd started to separate a little to let someone get through. Charlie Swan had come rushing out of the diner and started walking over to us as he took in the scene.

_Duh…Of course the chief of police would want to know what all the fuss was about_.

My body started to shake. The closer he came the harder I convulsed. This was not the way I wanted to meet my father. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He looked like the picture I had found except his hair was starting to turn a little gray around the edges and he had lines on his face that time had put there. He was handsome, especially in his uniform, and his eyes…well I felt like I was looking at myself when he met my gaze.

"Hey, it's okay. You're going to be fine." I ignored Edward's soothing words and continued to watch the stoic form getting closer to us. By not responding to his words and continuing to shake, Edward finally gently guided my chin so that I was forced to look at him. "Just try to calm down. You're safe."

"Edward, what happened?" _His voice._ It was the voice of the father I never knew, the one that I hoped would still want me after all these years. It was all too much and I felt myself getting dizzy. My knees buckled and I collapsed into Edward's frame.

"Whoa, steady there." Edward supported me with his arms. I struggled as the darkness began to overtake me. I was fading and it was impossible to stop, no matter how much I fought it. I closed my eyes and said the only thing that I was absolutely positive about.

"I want my mom."

Then there was nothing.

**Leave me some love! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me through all this angst! I know it has been difficult. I, along with a lot of you, have wanted to smack Bella. She just couldn't seem to get out of her own way for awhile. Well, things are looking up for once. Thanks again for all of your thoughtful reviews. I appreciate it.**

**I know I usually post on Saturdays, but this was ready so I thought why not. Hope you like it.**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 7**

**Meeting My Father**

"_We cannot destroy kindred: our chains stretch a little sometimes, but they never break." ~Marquise de Sévigné_

**BPOV**

I felt heavy all over, and sore. My hands were on fire and my head hurt something fierce. I was lying down and it was…comfortable. Not like a bed, but not like the hard ground either. I swallowed and it felt like cotton balls going down my throat.

_What the hell had happened to me? Where was I?_

All I could remember was the desperate feeling of wanting my mother. I wanted her to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay?

_Was everything okay? Was I dead?_

Slowly I began to move and I heard paper crinkling underneath me. Clearly, I wasn't dead. Upon opening my eyes I saw a drop ceiling with recessed lighting that was turned down low. Looking from side to side I could see I was in some type of examining room, maybe a hospital. I tried to sit up to get a better look around but the pain in my head immediately made me dizzy and nauseous.

"Hey, take it easy now. Just relax." My eyes darted to where the voice came from. I thought I had been alone and I panicked as I saw the hulking form of a man sitting in a chair in the far corner of the room. The combination of the dim room and my vision being a little blurry made it difficult to make out his face. He stood up and took a couple of steps towards me.

"I…I…please…don't..." I inched my way close to the far edge of the table. Tears filled my eyes as flashbacks of James moving towards me just like this man was doing ran through my head. The man stopped immediately.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

_I know that voice. _

I had only heard it a couple of times, but I recognized it. The familiarity of it acted like a trigger and all of a sudden I remembered everything: the diner, the last piece of apple pie, Edward Cullen, almost getting hit by the Hummer…Charlie Swan. He was the one standing a few feet from me and as I tried to clear the cobwebs from my vision, my eyes confirmed it. He didn't try to come any closer but cleared his throat in preparation to speak.

"I'm the police chief here in Forks. My name is Char…"

"I know who you are." I said quietly without taking my eyes off him. We just stared at each other for a few minutes before blew out a big breath that he didn't even seem to realize he was holding.

"That's good because I think I know who you are too." He swallowed down the emotion beginning to spill out of him. "After all these years…I need to know if you're…" He struggled to get out his thoughts as he looked at me with wide eyes. A ghost, someone he thought he'd never see again, stood before him. It was clear that this was painful for him and I wanted to ease that pain for him.

"I'm…I'm your daughter, Chief Swan. I'm Isabella." As the words left my mouth he took another deep breath and the tears that had been threatening to come out filled his eyes.

"But how….why…does your mother know you're here?" The mention of my mother opened the floodgates of tears and information that I couldn't hold back anymore. The words started falling out of my mouth

"Mom is dead. She and Da…I mean Phil were in a car accident last week. The funeral was two days ago." A myriad of emotions crossed his face. Confusion, shock, anger, pain…they were all there. He was about to say something, probably that he was sorry, but I just couldn't hear that right now. Not if I was to get through the rest of what I had to say. So I cut him off before he had the chance. "All my life she never said a word about you. I didn't know anything about you and just assumed you weren't alive or just a dead beat dad. And then after the funeral I found your letters, the ones you wrote when I was little, and I couldn't believe you were real and wanted me. I don't have anyone anymore and I don't have anywhere to go. You're the only person I have left. I need to know if what you said in those letters is still true. If it's not, I promise I'll leave and I won't bother you again. I just had to take the chance…" I was a sobbing mess by the time I finished my rambling rant.

He stepped forward so that he was closer to me and as much as I wanted to flinch, I resisted. He wasn't going to hurt me. I knew that. He brought his hand up to my head and ran his hand down my hair very lightly, trying to see for himself that I was indeed real. "Shhhhh. Don't cry, Bells." I was taken back a little by the name he used to refer to me, but it must not have shown through the tears that were still streaking down my face. I wanted to ask him about that name, what it meant, but there was a soft knock on the door before I could. Charlie immediately took a step back as an older, yet devastatingly attractive man entered the room. His looks normally would have sent me into a tailspin but the golden blond hair wasn't even close to the right shade and his brilliant blue eyes held nothing but compassion. He looked nothing like James and I felt somewhat at ease with him.

The man I assumed was a doctor looked at me before glancing at Charlie. My emotional state and his close proximity clearly didn't faze the doctor. I had a feeling he and Charlie had a conversation and he knew exactly who I was. As he walked towards me he grabbed the box of tissues on the counter and offered it to me as if my crying was the most natural thing in the world. I felt myself tense up as he got closer. It was irrational but I couldn't help it.

_Relax. He is not going to hurt you._

"Charlie." He nodded and gave him a knowing look before turning his attention to me. I forced myself to relax a little. "Miss Dwyer, I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen. How are you feeling?" He said as he shined a light into my eyes and starting checking me over.

"Please, Dr. Cullen, you can call me Bella." He smiled and I think his face actually sparkled.

"As long as you call me Carlisle. Okay?" I nodded in response. "Great, now that we got that settled, how about you tell me how you are feeling, _Bella_." Another breathtaking smile.

"My head hurts a lot, but other than that I feel fine." Overall I really did feel okay physically. I would have felt a lot worse if I was hit by the Hummer so I guess I had no complaints.

"That's to be expected considering you were out for over an hour. I've bandaged up your hands, but other than that you don't seem to have any other injuries. You should be fine, but I do think you shouldn't be alone tonight." I started shaking my head.

"I'll be okay. I'm staying at the motel…" I was interrupted before I could finish.

"She's going to come home with me. I'll look after her." We both just stared at Charlie as my jaw dropped and Carlisle's faced morphed into a smile. "That is…um…if you want to." Suddenly Charlie was all nervous, which made me nervous as well.

"Oh, well, I don't want to be an inconvenience." I said quietly looking at the floor. Carlisle must have felt the awkwardness of this little family moment and attempted to excuse himself.

"I'm just going to give you two a moment. Take your time and come out when you're ready." Carlisle slipped out of the room without another word. I looked up to see that Charlie was staring right at me.

"Inconvenience? Not a chance, Bells. I know I don't know the whole story as to why you are standing here in front of me and I am eventually going to want to hear it. But right now, it doesn't really matter. Please, stay at the house and we'll figure all this out…together." He looked at me with sincerity and for the first time in since I left Florida I actually felt like things might turn out okay.

"Okay, that sounds good. Thank you." He nodded as I slowly got down off the examining table and took a minute to steady myself. Charlie reached out to help me with my balance before opening the door and holding it for me so I could leave the room.

I stepped out into a waiting room that clearly didn't belong to a hospital. Carlisle was looking over a chart near the receptionist's desk and looked up when the door opened. Charlie went over to shake his hand.

"I'm assuming we're all good." He looked at me with a questioning glance.

"Yes, thank you, Carlisle. I'm going to be staying at Charlie's for…" I didn't finish that thought because I truly didn't know. Was Charlie's invitation for the night, a few days, weeks, I wasn't sure. Fortunately for me, Charlie was.

"For as long as she likes." He tentatively smiled at me before turning his attention towards Carlisle. "Thanks again, Doc."

"Anytime. I'm just glad I'll be able to report that Bella is alive and well. Esme has been so worried. She has texted and called about fifteen times." He chuckled and it sounded so…attractive. Which reminded me…

"Um, Carlisle, is Edward here? I would like to thank him for helping me out." The good doctor actually smirked at my question and I suddenly felt that he knew more than he was letting on.

"No, he had a shift at the hospital. He didn't want to leave until he saw for himself that you were okay, but they don't like it when their residents don't show up on time. I'd be happy to relay the message when I see him if you want."

"That would be great, thank you." I don't know why, but I was a little disappointed that I wasn't going to be able to talk to him in person.

_Because you like him._

Wait, no I don't. Sure he was super attractive and he had been nice to me, but like him? No way. I fell for good looks once and look where it got me. The self-preservation instinct screamed at me that I needed to be cautious and not let just anyone close to me. Besides, I was not ready for anything like _that _and wouldn't be for a long time. Charlie cleared his throat and brought me back to the moment.

"I'll drive you over to the motel to get your things. We'll come back in the morning for your car. I don't think you should be driving just yet." I nodded. I was pretty sure I was fine, but the way Charlie was trying to take care of me tugged at my heart a bit. It was just another indication that he really glad that I was here.

"Okay. Thanks again, Carlisle."

"It was nice to meet you, Bella. I hope next time it's under more pleasant circumstances."

We walked out of Carlisle's office and I could see that it was located right next the diner just as Edward had said it was.

_Talk about convenient._

We walked past my rental car and Charlie opened the passenger side door of the cruiser. I was thankful that there was no one in the parking lot at the moment. I didn't want to have to socialize and talk about me or my situation, especially since I had yet to give Charlie the full version. The drive to the motel was short and when we got there, Charlie gave me some time to get my stuff together. He made himself busy by heading toward the office to talk to Billy. Apparently they were good friends.

I gathered my things; careful to put all the items I had that said 'Bella Swan' on them all together. Luckily, I had only been carrying my 'Isabella Dwyer' license on me. It would have looked suspicious if I had two different forms of identification with two different names in my wallet, so I left the one that had 'Swan' on it behind. I wasn't sure what I was going to do about all that, but I would have to figure it out soon. I did know that the longer I went around as Isabella Dwyer, the more dangerous it would be for me.

_Would it look weird to everyone if I went ahead and legally changed my name to Swan even though I had only been here for a couple of days?_

Probably, but that's most likely what I was going to end up doing. That is if I could even do it legally and still be safe. Anyway you spin it, I was going to have to lie to Charlie and everyone else for that matter. I wasn't ready to tell anyone about my husband, especially the Chief of Police.

I put all of the fake documentation into the manila envelope I had been carrying it in and then put it in my backpack. I would have to make sure no one found it. I hadn't really unpacked anything else so repacking was easy. Once I was finished, I put it all in the cruiser and headed around to the front with the room key so I could check out.

I walked into the office and Charlie beamed at me. "So Billy, you've met my…daughter." It was like he was trying the word out for the first time. Phil had used that word a thousand times to describe me and I never gave it a second thought. It took on a whole different meaning hearing it from Charlie. He could have questioned the truth of what I said, told me it was too late, dismissed me for my mother's mistakes…but he didn't. He accepted me as if the last twenty plus years had never existed. He never stopped loving me. The truth of that was evident in his eyes. And now he was introducing me to his friends as his daughter. That was proof that he wanted me as a permanent person in his life. The thought made my heart swell.

"I sure have, although I had no idea who she was when she checked in." His expression changed all of a sudden to one of pure sympathy. "I feel for ya, being related to him and all. He's one miserable son of a…"

"Okay then, I think we should get going. You all set?" Charlie asking me before Billy embarrassed him any further. I smiled in amusement.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Thanks for everything, Billy." I said as I handed over the key to my room.

"No problem. Listen, if he gets too cranky for ya, come back and I'll hook you up." Charlie rolled his eyes and I chuckled.

"I'll keep that in mind."

A few twist and turns later Charlie pulled up to a decent sized house with a huge front porch. Immediately I could see myself reading a book on the porch swing that just begged to be sat in. "Is this…did I live here?" I hadn't meant to ask so abruptly but the thought that this was my childhood home where I lived with my mom and Charlie was overwhelming. There was nothing that struck me with recognition, but I was three when we left. I didn't expect to remember anything.

"Um, yeah, this was the house we bought when I married your mother." Sadness overtook his eyes for a split second before he motioned for me to head inside. I walked up the steps and opened the front door, which was unlocked.

"You know, you really should lock your door when you're not home." Half of me was teasing him in a playful manner. The other was scared to death of walking into a house that had been wide open for the entire world to enter if they so wished.

"You're probably right. I guess I never felt the need." Of course he didn't. He was the goddamn chief of police. No one in their right mind would think about violating his property.

_James is not in his right mind and thinks I'm his property._

The door from now on would be locked at all times. I would be making sure of that.

Charlie gave me a tour of the house that lasted about all of five minutes. It was clean, but it was evident a man was responsible for keeping it up. It was generically decorated with a few feminine touches throughout that were extremely outdated. They were probably my mother's doing when she lived here. I was immediately sad. Sad that she wasn't here anymore and sad that Charlie had not moved on at all. It was clear he was still hanging on to what they had. He still had their wedding picture on the mantel for crying out loud.

He apologized for the state of my childhood room which was still decorated for a three year old. A crib sat in the corner of the room with Strawberry Shortcake bedding and a toy box sat underneath the window. I couldn't believe he had left it all these years exactly as it had been. Why hadn't he made the room into an office or something? Had he been waiting for me to come back? I didn't realize I was still staring at it until he started talking about the room not being suitable for an adult.

"Tomorrow we'll get you a real bed and a desk or something. You can do whatever you want to it. And I meant what I said. You can stay here as long as you like." He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and stared at the room even though it was clear that he wasn't focusing on anything in particular. He was nervous.

"Thank you, Charlie, for everything. I'd like to stay…for awhile, if you don't mind. The room is perfect." I tried to smile but all I could manage was to anxiously nibble on my lower lip.

"I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." I suddenly felt that I owed Charlie some answers. He had been so receptive, so giving. He needed to know, but the thought of reliving everything was unbearable at the moment. "Listen, Charlie, I know you deserve the full story and I really, really want to give it to you. It's just I don't think I can right now. It's just too hard." The tears started to well up in my eyes.

"Shhh, don't cry, Bells. Whenever you're ready. I just can't believe you're really here."

"Why do you keep calling me that?" It was the third time I heard him refer to me with that name.

"What, Bells?" I nodded. "I called you that on the day you were born and it just stuck, I guess. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, I'll stop."

"No, no, I just wanted to know. I actually kind of like it." The smile that formed on his face made me feel like I had given him the world. I liked that he had a nickname for me. I liked that it was one that belonged to only us.

"Okay, Bells it is then. I thought we could order a pizza tonight and just relax. I figured you didn't want to go anywhere."

"That sound great, Charlie." And that's what we did. We at pizza, drank beer, and got caught up on our lives. I talked about growing up in Florida and he told me about being the police chief. The conversation never got too heavy, that was for another day. I slept on the couch that night. Charlie tried to get me to take his bed but I wasn't having it. He had already done so much. Even as he climbed up the stairs to bed he promised that the couch was only a one night thing. Feeling more relaxed and content than I had in a long time, I fell asleep quickly that night.

My father wanted me.

**Well there you have it. I hope I did their reunion justice. Let me know what you think. Thanks!**

**~Isannah**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone! Sorry about failing to reply to reviews this week. RL has been kicking my arse! I have read each and every one and you guys have brought many smiles to my face. Thank you!**

**This chapter is dedicated to Lilacs46. She reviewed to all seven chapters that were posted when I wrote this story for the Summer Review Contest and has also reviewed them again since I re-posted them under my name. She has been waiting patiently for the first new chapter and this is it. I hope all of you like it!**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 8**

**Making Friends**

"_In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.__" _

_-Albert Schweitzer_

**BPOV**

Sniff. Sniff.

What is that _smell_?

It was strong enough to pull me out of one of the best sleeps I had had in days. Not one nightmare, no restlessness, not even a middle of the night trip to pee. I couldn't remember a thing since I had fallen asleep and it felt damn good. Slowly, I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. My body was sore and achy from falling the previous day, but it was easy to ignore as I remembered why I was sleeping on this plaid sofa in the cozy living room of my first home. I smiled.

_My father wanted me._

It was hard to believe so much had happened in such a short amount of time. With Charlie's acceptance and enthusiasm over my arrival, I felt for the first time in days, hell _years_, that things might actually turn out okay. However, the distinct burning smell wafting through the house pulled me out of my personal celebration. It would be just my luck to finally find a home and then have it burn down. I sniffed the air to figure out where it might be coming from.

"Damn it." My questions were answered as I heard Charlie yell out in frustration from the kitchen. I was kind of figuring out that he wasn't exactly the domestic type, but hey, I did not care. I would do all of the cooking, cleaning, and laundry if he let me.

I wrapped the blanket around my shoulders and shuffled off to the kitchen. When I got there I saw Charlie dressed in a flannel shirt and jeans trying to butter what I think used to be bread. It was completely black so I couldn't really be sure.

"I think you killed it." Charlie looked up at me before looking back down at the toast in defeat.

"Yeah, you're probably right. I'm not really sure where I went wrong." He scratched the back of his head before looking back up to me. "I did make coffee and I know I did that right." I chuckled.

"Well then you are my hero this morning." Charlie actually started to blush with embarrassment of being flattered. I smiled at him as I grabbed a coffee mug out of the dish drain and poured myself a cup. The warm liquid felt good going down my throat and I could immediately sense myself perking up. "Perfect." We stood there just smiling at each other for a little longer than necessary. I think we were both still feeling that this was all just too surreal.

"So, I thought today we could get your room set up. We'll need to get some furniture and bedding and stuff. I thought we could go shopping and hopefully it won't be long until you're off the couch."

"Don't you have to work today?" I once again took in his attire and saw that he indeed was not dressed for any type of police work.

"Took the day off." He said as he raised the cup up to his lips.

"You really didn't have to do that. I don't want to be a burden..." I began to ramble.

"Hey, hey, hey. You are not a burden. I haven't taken a day off in years. If I can't do that once in a while, what's the point of being the chief? If you're going to stay here we need to make it a bit more comfortable for you."

I felt myself becoming emotional. I didn't want to cry, but everything Charlie was doing confirmed the fact that he wanted me here…for the long term. It also proved that he had wanted to be in my life all along. It made me sad to think about all the time we missed out on.

"Charlie…thank you." I didn't even flinch when he patted my shoulder.

"No need to be, but you're welcome." The need to tell him the truth about what had brought me to Forks was growing by the second. I wanted to be honest with him. I needed him to trust me, but trust was a two-way street. I had to trust him as well if I was ever going to put my past behind me.

I decided to just tell him everything, bu tefore I could respond there was a knock on the door. Immediately the panic started to consume my body and all thoughts of my confession were gone. Who would be here so early in the morning? The only one I could think of probably wouldn't knock, but you never knew with him. Could he have really found me? I started doing a mental check of all the ways I could have messed up and made me findable. I came up empty but that didn't help subside the nauseous feeling in my stomach.

_Fuck. Would I ever be free from him?_

I hung back as I saw Charlie look at the clock and huff a little before heading toward the door. I held my breath as it opened praying it wasn't James. I couldn't see the door from where I was standing, but I tried to listen as best I could.

"What the…who is this?" Charlie asked in frustration. This was not good. This was not good at all. I started to look for possible escape routes. Unfortunately, there were none here in the kitchen except for the window above the sink. I needed a weapon and moved towards the butcher block holding a set of knives. Then I started to listen for any signs that my biggest fear was coming true.

"I'm sorry for the early hour, Chief Swan. I just wanted come by and apologize to you, sir, for almost hitting your daughter with my car. Mom wouldn't let me come over any earlier." It didn't sound like James. Whoever it was sounded downright nervous. Apparently, Chief Swan could be frightening. I tried peeking around the corner but could only see Charlie's back.

"Do you know what time it is, son?"

"Um, yes sir. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about the time, and for almost killing your daughter, and for anything else you might find me at fault for." I heard a pause and I knew Charlie was giving him the evil eye or some shit like that. I was sure it wasn't James and I began to relax a little. It was the Hummer guy. What was his name? Elvis? Everett?

_Emmett. The name is Emmett._

"Well, no harm, no foul, I guess. But there better not be a next time, you here me? I may have known you since you were in diapers but that won't stop me from putting your ass in jail if we ever have another incident like this one. I'm saying it once. Slow. Down." I could tell from Charlie's tone that this was not a request, it was an order. Even I shuddered a little at his authoritativeness.

"Yes, sir. I will. Thank you, sir." Emmett was so fucking nervous. If I remembered him right I knew that he probably towered over Charlie. But what Charlie lacked in size, he made up for in intimidation. I was relieved that the conversation seemed to be winding down. That is until Emmett spoke again. Um, sir. Would it be okay for me to converse with your daughter? I would really like to apologize to her personally."

_Please say no, please say no, please say no._

Charlie turned around and made eye contact with me. "Bella, Emmett Cullen is asking to…_converse _with you. Do you want to talk to him? Say the word and I will close the door on him…and his bear."

_His bear?_

I didn't really want to speak to him, but I knew he was here to apologize and I must admit, the bear comment threw me for a loop. I slowly made my way to the door and stood next to Charlie. Emmett was huge. Like real fucking huge. I had completely underestimated his abnormal size and it made the conversation he and Charlie had that much more amusing.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me, Bells." And then Charlie was gone and I was there alone to talk to this…man.

"Uh, hi Bella. I'm Emmett. Emmett Cullen. I am so sorry about yesterday. I don't know what happened and why I didn't see you, but fuck I am so sorry. Wait, I shouldn't have said that. My mom would kill me if she heard me swear in front of a lady. I'm really, really sorry for almost killing you." His rambling was kind of cute and I could tell he was being nothing but sincere. I decided to let him off the hook.

"Really, Emmett. Please stop. I'm fine, it's no big deal. You don't need to apologize." He gave me a smile that was reminiscent of a kid on Christmas followed by look of sudden realization.

"Oh, I almost forgot. This is for you." From the side of the door he produced an almost life-sized polar bear with a red ribbon around his neck. His goofy grin matched the one Emmett was sporting.

"Um, thank you?" I put my arms around the bear and pulled him so that he was in the house. He was so big he almost didn't fit through the door. As much as I didn't need a stuffed animal of this size, I couldn't help admit that it was really a sweet gesture on Emmett's part. I don't know why, but I wanted him see that I appreciated it. "He's really cute."

"Wait, there's more." Emmett started handing me all these things: flowers, chocolate, a smaller bear with a Forks t-shirt on it, and a huge bag with some sort of food in it.

"Those are muffins from my mom. She wanted to send you breakfast."

"Your mom?"

"Yeah, Esme? She said you guys met. She owns the diner that could have been your final resting place." I had to laugh at his statement. This guy was funny and genuine.

"Oh yeah. Tell her I said thanks." As soon as I said it Charlie came up behind me and took the bag while giving Emmett an 'I'm watching you' look. Apparently Esme's muffins were his downfall.

"I will. Oh, and she wanted me to invite you guys for dinner tonight at the house." Every instinct I had wanted to say absolutely no way in hell. I didn't want to be the center of attention. I didn't want to be the shiny new toy. But the person inside of me that truly wanted to be normal took over and decided for both of us that the Cullens had done nothing but be nice since I got here.

"What do you say, Bells? It's totally up to you." Charlie said as he stuffed a muffin into his mouth. I was touched that he left it up to me, not wanting me to feel uncomfortable.

"Yeah, um, sure. Tell your mom we'd love to.

"Great. So are we all good?" Emmett motioned to the space between us with a questioning expression."

"Yeah, we're good." I reassured him.

"Excellent. Okay, see you guys tonight. We'll have fun." Emmett exclaimed. His grin was infectious as he made his way off the porch.

I wish I could have shared his confidence.

o~o~O~o~o

Charlie pulled the cruiser up to a house that literally made my jaw drop to the floor. It was massive and extremely beautiful. I had never seen anything like it before up close.

"So this is where they live?"

"It's…wow…isn't it? You would never know by how they act that they have a lot of money. They're good people, Bells. Very down to earth." I heard what he was saying but it didn't appease the nerves floating around in my stomach as we walked up the steps to the front porch. The door swung open as soon as we reached the top and I instinctually stepped back and cowered a little before realizing that it was Esme who was standing in front of us. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest and I struggled to get my breathing under control. Both she and Charlie looked at me with a combination of concern and confusion. When it didn't look like I was going to clear anything up, Esme stepped in and relieved the awkwardness that fell upon us.

"Charlie, Bella, you're here." She stepped forward and slowly pulled me into a hug. While I appreciated her caution, it was unnecessary. She didn't have a penis so I was not afraid of her and I didn't want her to think I was. I returned the hug with as much enthusiasm as I could. "I'm so glad you agreed to join us for dinner."

"And pass up the chance to enjoy some of your cooking, Esme? I think not."

"Oh, Charlie. As charming as ever, I see." She gave him a hug and ushered us inside. "Bella, I'm so glad to see you in one piece. I have told Emmett a thousand times to not drive so fast."

"It really wasn't his fault. I had tripped and he didn't see me right away…"

"Nonsense. If he had not been using the parking lot like a freeway he would have seen you in plenty of time. Don't let him off the hook so easily." She smiled warmly as she led us up the stairs and I couldn't help but feel close to her. "Now, it's just going to be the family which you have met most of but, I do have to warn you…" Before she could continue a small pixie with black spiky hair jumped in between Esme and me.

"You must be Bella. I'm so glad dumb brother didn't kill you with the car. I'm Alice, the youngest, yet brightest and most attractive of all the Cullen children. It's so nice to meet you." Just like her mother she gave me a very inviting hug except there was not any caution at all. She just moved on into my personal space like she belonged there and I was a little surprised that I actually felt comfortable with her being there. "Hi, Chief Swan. Must say, you're looking mighty good these days. Love the stache." It was completely innocent but that didn't change the fact that Charlie actually blushed as he reached up to smooth out his mustache.

_So that's where I get it from. The blush, not the mustache. Damn genetics. _

It was obvious that Alice's charm affected him. I couldn't help but chuckle at his embarrassment. He gave her a shy smile. "Thanks, Alice. It's good to see you, too."

"Alice, stop bugging Chief Swan and for the love of God let the poor girl breathe." Esme playfully slapped her on the arm and I could tell that they had a good mother daughter relationship. Kind of like the one I used to have with my…

_Just don't go there, Isabella._

"Alice is home from school for the summer." Esme explained.

"Oh, where do you go?" I was definitely interested, but just the mentioning of college brought a slew of thoughts about my own unfinished degree to mind. At that point I was envious, more than I ever thought I would be.

"UW in Seattle. I'm studying fashion design. Some day people will actually pay to wear clothes with my name on them." She said with a dramatic flair. I loved how she didn't question herself. She knew what she wanted and she was wholeheartedly planning on getting it. She reminded me of me when I was in school. There was a time when I thought nothing could stop me from achieving my goal.

"That's great. I'd love to see some of your designs." For some reason it was so easy to talk to Alice. I wondered if this is what it would have been like with Angela if I ever allowed it.

"You've done it now." Esme muttered as she shook her head at her daughter.

"Ohmygosh, really? I'd love to show them to you. In fact, you would look so great in my creations. You'll have to come over and try some of them on. Oh, Bella. We're going to be such good friends. I just know it." Her optimism was so awe-inspiring. Mine, however, was barely existent. I would have loved to think that we would be great friends, but friends shared secrets. That was just not something I was willing to do. Thankfully, Esme stepped in and stopped me from having to return the sentiment.

"There will be plenty of time for that. Alice, could you please check on the oven." Giving me a beaming smile, Alice bounded up the stairs and out of site. "She can be a little overwhelming, but she means well. Don't let her scare you." I hated that Esme felt she had to make excuses for her daughter's enthusiasm just because she knew I was uncomfortable. It was nice of her, but not fair to Alice. I was the freakish introvert.

"No, she's great. I love her energy." And I really did. I was a little jealous of it in fact.

We reached the top of the landing that emptied into the living room. As soon as our presence was known, Emmett, Carlisle, and Edward stood up to greet us. I was caught off guard for a second before I remembered that Edward was also part of the family. It was a surprise. Unexpected, yes. Pleasant, not quite sure. I was at a loss when it came to him. I was in no position to be attracted to anyone, but he was just so damn pretty. One moment my insides went to mush just looking at him and the next I was cursing myself to not let history repeat itself. I fell for a pretty face once. Look where it got me.

"Bella My Fella!" Emmett took three big steps and scooped me up into a bone crushing hug. Apparently, we were BFF's now that all had been forgiven. I felt myself tense up from the sudden contact but if Emmett sensed it, he didn't let on. I willed myself to relax knowing that this big goof was harmless. "How are you, sweets?"

"Um, good?" I muttered from under his arm.

"She's not a doll, Emmett. Put her down." I could hear Edward say.

"Uh, uh. We've bonded. Right, Bella? You'll be my fella, won't ya?" He put me down and looked in to my eyes with his own puppy dog ones. He was laying it on real thick and I had to hold back a laugh that was threatening to bubble up. I could see Carlisle chuckling and Edward scowling a little bit.

_Not sure what that's all about._

"Oh, brother." Edward said sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

"That's me and you're just jealous." Emmett turned his attention back to me. "Anyway, ignore him. I'm still waiting for an answer." How could I say no to him?

"Okay, Emmett, I'll be your fella." He put a fist pump in the air causing us all to laugh…even Edward this time. He was looking at me so I took the opportunity to say what I had wanted to the day before. "Thank you, Edward. For yesterday. I appreciate what you did to, um, help me." I swallowed hard.

"You don't need to thank me. I was just in the right place at the right time." Edward smiled and I wasn't sure what else to say. Charlie, fortunately, stepped in and interrupted the awkwardness.

"Nonsense. My little girl needed help and you were there. You took care of her and I'm sure as hell grateful for it. You did good, son." Edward humbly nodded. It seemed like everyone was at a loss of words from Charlie's heartfelt gratitude. A few tears sprang to my eyes at the thought of Charlie calling me his little girl and I quickly blinked them away.

The moment only lasted a few minutes as the boys delved into a conversation about sports teams that didn't interest me in the slightest. I was happy to help Esme and Alice in the kitchen. We put the finishing touches on a meal that was fit for a king. Charlie wasn't kidding when he implied that Esme was a good cook. This wasn't diner food. This was four-star restaurant food.

The meal, the company, and the conversation were wonderful. For the first time in years I felt like I was a normal person having normal conversations with normal friends. I wasn't sure how much the Cullens knew about me, but to their credit they stayed away from topics that would surely be difficult for me to talk about.

"So Bella, how long are you in town for? Do you plan on staying for awhile?" Carlisle inquired before taking a sip of his wine. Suddenly a few people were interested in my answer, Charlie included.

"Well, I was kind of thinking of making a fresh start here. It seems like a nice town and I was hoping to get to know my, um, dad. If…if that's okay with you, Charlie." I looked over to see that Charlie had a slightly emotional expression on his face.

"I would love that, Bells." He smiled. I smiled. We were having a moment. Something that I hoped would happen a lot.

"Well, that's great. Please know if there's anything you need. We'd be happy to help you and Charlie in anyway."

"Thank you so much. I don't think there's anything I really need, except maybe a job." I said almost jokingly as I picked up a bite of chicken and put it in my mouth.

"You could work at the diner. Can't she, mom?" I looked up to where Alice was bouncing in here seat. It wasn't at all what I expected and almost choked on my food.

"Of course, I'm always looking for extra help. But Alice, she may not want to wait on tables." Little did they know I wasn't really qualified for anything more, but even that didn't matter. The fact that this was truly going to be my decision made me want to work at the diner.

"I don't mind. I mean, if you really have an opening I would love to apply for it. I don't have any waitressing experience, but I'll work hard."

"Not a problem, dear. Alice can train you. When do you want to start?"

"Is tomorrow too early?"

"We'll see you in the morning, say seven?"

"Perfect. Thank you, Esme. I won't let you down."

"Of course you won't, dear. I know that."

_Oh my God. I have a job._

The magnitude of what had just happened wasn't apparent to anyone except me. I hadn't made a decision concerning the direction of my own life in years. Conversation was going on around me but I couldn't concentrate enough to participate. All I could focus on was that I had a job. A real job. It kind of made things here more permanent, like I really would be staying for awhile.

Before I knew it dinner was over and Esme was apologizing for not having enough time to make an apple pie for dessert. That reminded me that I had made brownies with Reese's peanut butter cups baked into them but left them in the car. I jumped up to go get them and was a little surprised when Edward offered to walk me to the car to get them. I said it wasn't necessary. He didn't listen and followed me.

We walked outside and before I could even shiver from the cool air, my jacket was draped over my shoulders. In surprise I looked back to see that Edward was shrugging his arms into his own jacket. I hadn't even realized he had grabbed them both before leaving the house. Instead of being touched by the gesture, my natural instincts started trying to figure out what the intention behind it was. By the time we reached the car I was convinced that Edward gave me the coat for his own convoluted reasons. I was on edge and frustrated. His presence made me feel uncomfortable for reasons I didn't understand. I wasn't afraid of him. Scratch that. I wasn't afraid of him physically harming me, but I was afraid. He was nice, charming, and add a gentleman to the list. He scared the fucking shit out of me.

I was about to open the car door but hesitated for a second before turning around to face Edward, who had yet to say anything. "You didn't have to do that, you know." I motioned to the coat.

"Of course I did. It may be summer, but the evenings can get chilly. What kind of gentleman would I be if I let a pretty girl freeze?" His charming smile agitated me even more.

"So that's why you did it? Because you think I'm pretty." I narrowed my eyes at him and I could see him going into defense mode, something he often had to do around me.

"Um, yes…I mean no. I mean…" His head fell forward and his shoulder sagged in defeat. When he finally raised his head, the confusion in his eyes was overwhelming. "What answer should I give that will make me less in trouble than I already am?" Not knowing myself what he should say, I huffed out a sigh and turned towards the car. Of course he didn't want to say something that would piss me off. And while a little piece of me felt bad for being so tough on him, the larger piece felt it necessary to protect myself at all costs.

"So, you're from Florida?" Edward asked as I reached into the car. Despite acting like a total bitch towards him, he was still trying. And for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why.

"Yeah."

"Isn't that the sunshine state? You don't look very tan."

"Well, I haven't lived in Florida for a few years." Fucking A. What was I doing? Saying too much, that's what.

"Oh, where were you living?" The question was innocent but I knew I couldn't answer him. I had to shut this down now.

"Seriously? What's with all the questions?"

"Um, I'm just trying to get to know you."

"Why? Why would you want to do that?" I couldn't keep the harshness and suspicion out of my voice.

"I don't know. I guess it's like what I said in the diner. You look like you could use a friend."

_Desperately._

"Well I don't so you can stop making me your charity case." I snapped. He looked away without saying anything and immediately I felt like an ass. Here he was trying to just be nice. He was just trying to make polite conversation and yet I lashed out at him like he was digging. I was at war with myself. My mind screamed at me to protect myself yet my heart wanted me to give him a chance. Not every guy had ulterior motives. Not every guy wanted to control women. Not every guy was like James. The quicker I accepted that the sooner I could get on with my life and be normal.

_Try, Bella. Just try._

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. It's just that I'm not really used to having any." His eyes abruptly looked up to meet mine.

"Any what? Friends? You don't have any friends? Is that even possible? Not one?" I nodded suddenly feeling pathetic. I half expected him to call me a loser or something in reaction to my admission. "Well that's just…not acceptable. You need a friend. If you let me, I could be that for you."

"I, I don't know…"

"Before you say no let me say the only obligation you would have in being my friend is to listen to me whine every once in a while. And maybe buy me a Christmas present. You on the other hand would benefit from being able to rely on me for anything and we'll take things slow. No pushing. And let me just say this, I would make a much better friend than Emmett any day. So what do ya say?" He looked so fucking cute I found myself giving in a lot more easily than I thought I would ever do. I smiled slightly and looked down at my feet.

"Okay, we can try to be friends." I looked back up and saw that he was grinning at me. I felt a warmth radiate throughout my body that I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

"Okay then, great. We should get back inside. Can I take that for you, friend?" I held out the plate of brownies and Edward took them. We started walking towards the door in silence and I realized there was something I could do to start this friendship out right.

"Um, thank you. For the coat, I mean. I didn't realize how chilly it had gotten." A shy smile formed on his lips as he shoved his free hand inside the pocket of his jeans.

"What are friends for?" He said in a joking manner as he nudged my shoulder with his.

"Well it was still nice of you to do. I'm not used to that kind of thoughtfulness." It was the truth but I didn't feel like I was giving too much away. A slight grimace replaced the smile that had been their a few seconds ago.

"That's a shame." He said softly and suddenly the light moment was gone. We were quiet the rest of the way inside, deep in our own thoughts.

**Well, a little progress for Bella, don't you think? Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello, everyone! For those of you who have endured awful weather this week, I hope you make it through relatively unscathed. My ass is still recovering from shoveling our 18 inches of snow and we're supposed to get more tomorrow. I'm ready for spring!**

**You guys are absolutely fabulous. Thank you for all of your reviews. I really appreciate it. A lot of you are unhappy that Bella isn't confiding in Charlie. Remember, up to this point she's only been in Forks for less than a week. That's all I'm gonna say.**

**AN: I don't own Twilight but I do own an 8 foot snow bank!**

**Chapter 9**

**Trust**

"_We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy."_

_~Walt Anderson_

**BPOV**

Morning came and I found myself wavering between wanting to jump for joy and vomiting. Finally after about ten minutes of deliberation I decided to do neither. I did not want to puke and jumping around would surely end that way. I was excited. And I was nervous as hell.

Today was my first day of employment in my new life.

I took a little bit of extra time getting ready by applying some makeup. Knowing that most people didn't like hair in their food, I opted for pulling all mine back in a pony tail. Esme told me that the diner was casual and that I should dress accordingly. I chose my nicer jeans and a fitted polo shirt and called it good. It wasn't a very hard decision since I only had the four outfits I had left Florida with. I made a mental note to ask Esme or Alice where in this town I could buy some clothes.

I joined Charlie downstairs for coffee and asked him if he could go with me to the car rental place after we both got off from work. He thought I was making a sound economical decision. Little did he know my reasoning had nothing to do with money and everything to do with the fact that I didn't want anything tying me to Florida. A few times I almost blurted out the whole horrid story to Charlie only to snap my mouth shut at the last minute. I wanted to tell him everything, _desperately_, but I still couldn't bring myself to do it. There were too many what ifs still out there. What if he didn't believe me? What if he thought I was overreacting and wrong to leave like I did? What if he made me return to deal with it? What if he decided I wasn't worth the trouble? The rational side of my brain told me that Charlie would understand, that I could trust him. The scared shitless side told me to keep it to myself until I was a hundred percent that his reaction would be supportive. The scared shitless side won out so the rental car had to go. The sooner the better.

I pulled into the diner parking lot and turned off the car. For a moment I just looked at where I would be spending a lot of my days. This was going to be good. I was going to start a job that would give me a paycheck that I would have full control over. It was definitely not going to be enough to grant me complete financial freedom right off the bat, but it was a step in the right direction. A baby step. Baby steps were good.

A few more baby steps and I was walking through the door five minutes before I was supposed to be there.

"Bella!" I looked over to where I heard my name coming from and saw Alice behind the counter pouring coffee into a customer's mug. I was surprised to see her there.

"Hi, Alice. I thought you were on summer break. Shouldn't you be sunning it up or something?" It was easy to joke with Alice.

"Please, you haven't been in Forks that long, huh? The sun only comes out once a week and it usually is a day that I'm working here. It helps Mom out and the tips are always good." I nodded. It made sense. "Anyhoo, it's perfect timing because I get to train you. We're going to have so much fun!"

This girl's enthusiasm was unrivaled, but to my surprise she was absolutely right. I did have fun. Within a couple of hours I had gotten things down and felt comfortable with the cash register, the menu, and just how things worked in general. Alice introduced me to all of the customers that came in. She knew just about everyone and quickly I realized that this was mostly a place where locals frequented. Interacting with strangers was the one thing about the job that I had been having the most anxiety over, but after a few days I realized that there wasn't really anything to worry about. These were good people. They cared about their community and they cared about each other. They took me under their wing, not just because I was Chief Swan's daughter, but because it was just in their nature to do so. I found myself on a first name basis with just about all of the patrons and feeling more at home here than I ever did in Chicago. I was making some real friends.

Speaking of friends, every day Edward made it a point to stop by the diner before his shift at the hospital. He always ordered coffee and a piece of apple pie. According to Alice it was a standing order that he usually got to go. However, on my first day he decided that he would enjoy his breakfast at the diner.

"You're eating here?" Alice had one hand on her hip and the other one holding a to-go bag.

"Yeah. What's the big deal?" Edward asked awkwardly as he slid onto a stool at the counter.

"You never eat here, which is why I had this already packed up. So you didn't have to wait."

"I eat here." There was a defensive tone in his voice with a slightly nervous glance my way.

"Since when?" Alice said as she dropped bag in front of Edward and reached under the counter to get a plate. I busied myself wiping the shit out of a nearby table that did not need to be cleaned. I didn't want to look like I was listening as Alice and Edward were having their exchange, but really I couldn't help myself. There was a pause after Alice's question and I waited for what seemed like forever for Edward's reply. Finally, the silence and my curiosity got to me and I looked up to find that he was staring at me.

"Since things got a little more interesting around here." Edward said in a low voice and then smiled at me. I could feel my face turning red and had to look away from Edward's gaze.

_Could he have been talking about me? _

I brushed the ridiculous thought out of my head and went to wait on some newly filled tables. It got a little hectic for awhile and by the time I made it back over to the counter, Edward had left. Disappointed that I didn't get to at least talk to him, I sadly sighed and went to clear the counter where Edward had been. When I picked up the plate, I found underneath a napkin that had been written on. My heart sped up as I read it.

_When I was growing up I had a pet frog named Mr. Wiggles. He was my best friend._

At first I was confused. I wasn't sure why he would tell me about his frog on a napkin, but I quickly figured it out. We talked while he was there, some days more than others. But no matter what and how much was said between us, he always left me a new little tidbit of information about his life.

_I broke my arm jumping off a swing when I was four._

_I love blueberries, but not in my pancakes._

_I'm scared of snakes._

_I'm pretty good at baseball, but I'm awesome at playing pool._

Compiled together it was a growing list of his likes and dislikes, his childhood experiences, and his fears. This was his way of telling me about himself without pressuring me to do the same. It was so sweet and it quickly became the most favorite part of my day. Once Alice got to the napkin before I did. She folded it up and handed it to me with a knowing smile that reached from ear to ear. I was finding it very, very hard not to like Edward Cullen in more ways than one. Realistically though, I hadn't even known the man for a week. That was not nearly enough time to justify my growing feelings. Yet he seems like he could be someone I could trust and I _want _to trust him. But I don't. I don't trust anyone.

On Saturday morning the place was so packed there was even a line to get in. Alice and Esme were running all over the place, taking care of several tables simultaneously. There was also another waitress, a very stunning blond haired, blue eyed woman that I hadn't worked with yet moving around the tables with a coffee pot like she had done it a thousand times. I assumed it was Emmett's girlfriend. Alice had mentioned she was coming in to help with the crowd. Apparently she had worked here regularly during high school, but now only takes a shift here and there when she isn't busy with school.

"Bella, thank God you're here. Mike and Jessica's wedding has caused the population of Forks to double I think. Apparently we're serving the wedding day breakfast." Esme said enthusiastically as she rung someone up at the cash register. I suddenly remember Billy mentioning the festive event when I first arrived. And how can I forget the bachelor party brew crew incident.

"Yeah, this is crazy." I said as I reached into the back room for my apron.

"We've never been this busy and it will probably be like this tomorrow too before everyone goes home." The sparkle in her eye said volumes about what she thought about the added business. As she walked past me she winked as she discreetly whispered in my direction. "It'll be a good tips weekend." I smiled in response.

_Good tips? Now that does sound promising._

As I headed for my first table, a flash of blond gracefully whizzed around me.

"Hi, I'm Rosalie. You must be Bella. We'll meet later." I had to chuckle at her rushed greeting, but she was right. We would talk later on. We just didn't have time right now for any proper introductions.

"Sounds good. It will be nice to meet you later." She looked back and gave me a smile. She seemed nice.

For the next two hours we all worked our asses off. At first I felt nervous because Rosalie, Alice, and Esme were all used to working with each other. I didn't want to get in their way and I really didn't want to screw up. But I quickly fell into their rhythm and it was like I had been working with them for years. I finally felt like I was right where I was supposed to be and hoped that working at Esme's would help foster some pretty good friendships.

When the last of the brunch crowd left, I started getting the tables ready for lunch. If it was as busy as it was this morning, we wouldn't have time to refill salt shakers and resupply the ketchup. Esme, Alice, and Rosalie were all sitting at a table enjoying a cup of coffee and each other for a moment. I didn't mind that I was working and they were taking a break. We all deserved to have a break, but I enjoyed the work. It reminded me that I was really making a life for myself and not relying on anyone. It was invigorating.

"Bella, honey. What are you doing? Get over here and join us. You deserve a cup of coffee." Esme called over. I finished the last table and went over to sit with them. A fresh cup of coffee was already where I sat down and I had to admit, it was fuck awesome.

"God, this is good. Thanks, Esme." She nodded while taking her own sip.

"You did good, new girl." I looked up from my steaming cup of goodness to see Rosalie's eyes staring into mine.

"Rosalie, she has a name. It's Bella and yes, she was fabulous. Like an old pro." Alice beamed at me and it warmed my heart. It had been a long time since anyone complimented me on my work.

"Thanks. That was really something. Have you ever seen it so busy?"

"Not even close. I assumed we would have more customers this weekend, but I never thought it would get like that. That was a first." Esme fanned herself.

"Well, Mike's family does own a sporting goods store. They probably know a lot of people. I just can't believe he's marrying that…" Alice scrunched up her nose.

"Don't say it, Alice. Don't get me wrong, I'm thinking the same thing you are, but no bride should be called names on her wedding day. Even if it is behind her back. And besides, you wouldn't miss the blessed event for all the tea in China."

"That's for damn sure and it's not the tea I am going for. I hear they're having a whiskey sour fountain. You know I am _all_ about that. Are you and Charlie going, Bella?" I was a little caught off guard by that question. Why would I be going to a wedding where I knew neither the bride nor the groom? Alice must have sensed my confusion. "I know Charlie knows the Newton's real well and I thought he might take you as his date." Well that seemed a bit more logical, but it wasn't the case.

"Actually Charlie's working so everyone else in the department can go. Besides, I wouldn't have anything to wear."

"Well, we can take care of that. You should go. I'm sure Mike and Jessica wouldn't mind. You can borrow something from Rosalie or me. You don't want to miss the whiskey sour fountain, do you?" I chuckled a little at Alice's exaggerated plea. Rosalie and Esme were nodding in agreement, looking like they also wanted me to go. It was endearing, but there was no way I was going to this wedding. Four hours of pure awkwardness was not exactly the way I wanted to spend a Saturday night, let along the panic attack that would come along with being with all those strangers. Not wanting to disappoint Alice, I tried to change the topic.

"Well, as enticing as that sounds, I think I'm going to have to pass. I just wouldn't feel comfortable, but I appreciate that you would want me to go. But speaking of the not having anything to wear, I need some new clothes and a bunch of other things. I haven't really seen any stores in Forks. Is there somewhere…" I was cut off by Alice who had a gleam in her eye.

"I could so help you with that. I know Port Angeles like the back of my hand. We could shop, get a bite to eat, and get to know each other. What do you say?" It sounded like a great idea. I hadn't brought a whole lot with me and having someone who knew where things were helping me would be great. And it would be fun. I need more fun in my life.

"That sounds great, Alice. Thanks. When do you want to go?" We decided that we would go after working the morning shift at the diner on Tuesday. Esme was closing early that day for inventory so we wouldn't be leaving her shorthanded. Wanting to get to know Rosalie a little better, I invited her to come along with us but she worked at a shelter for teens during the week as part of an internship. She was currently working towards a degree in social work. I loved listening to her talk about the work she was doing at the shelter. She was so passionate about her chosen career. Between her and Alice, I got to thinking about my own career. I knew the diner was my immediate future, but with my new found independence I couldn't help think that maybe one day I could go back to school and finish my degree.

The lunch crowd wasn't as large, but it was still very busy. When the last customer left I urged Esme, Alice, and Rosalie to take off so that they could get ready for the wedding. It was only a couple of hours away and it sounded like they had a lot to do to 'get sexy for their men.' They began to protest but I insisted. The kitchen had been closed for a little while and the cooks had all gone home. We had gotten almost everything ready for the next day while the stragglers had been finishing so there wasn't a lot to do. I assured them I could handle it and shoved them out the door before turning to the last two tables that needed to be cleared.

Forty-five minutes later I had finished the last of the dishes and was putting my apron in the laundry bin. Grabbing the keys to lock up I left the back room and started to head out. What I saw when I entered the dining room stopped me in my tracks. There was a man standing in front of the door that he must have just come through. And I was alone.

_Shit. What do I do?_

"Well, hello there." He had this longer blondish brown hair that was naturally wavy. His hazel eyes looked warm and kind, but I knew looks could be deceiving. When I didn't answer he continued. "You must be Bella." I racked my brain trying to remember if I had seen him before but came up empty.

"How, how do you know my name?" He must have sensed my fear because he instinctually put his hands up defensively.

"I'm sorry. I should have identified myself. I'm Jasper, Alice's boyfriend." Of course, Jasper. Alice talks about him… a lot.

"Oh, Jasper. Yeah, Alice has mentioned your name a few times." He laughed as he nodded, obviously knowing Alice's personality.

"Sorry, about that. Anyway, it's a pleasure to meet you Bella. Alice has mentioned your name quite a few times as well. She forgot her wallet and I offered to come get it for her."

"I know where she puts it. I'll be right back." I went into the back room and took a deep breath. He had scared me. I had not realized how much until I was by myself.

_Get it together, Bella. Not everyone is out to fucking hurt you._

Taking another breath and getting myself under control, I grabbled the wallet and went back to a waiting Jasper.

"Thanks." He said as I handed it to him. "Are you going to the wedding?"

"No, I wasn't really invited and Charlie isn't going so…" I left the thought open knowing he would probably understand.

"Hey, I get it. Well I'm sure I'll be seeing you around. Thanks again, Bella. It was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too and have fun tonight." He nodded before exiting through the door. I smiled. He was very nice. Alice is a lucky girl.

I took one more look around the diner. Satisfied that Esme would be pleased tomorrow when she came it, I locked the door behind me and put the keys in my purse. Esme had given me the spare set so I wouldn't have to return them to her until I came in for my shift. In perfect timing, Charlie pulled up so he could follow me to the car rental place. I felt relief in getting this taken care of.

o~o~O~o~o

Having the house to myself was something I was already used to as Charlie worked until midnight most evenings. I didn't mind being alone, but I wasn't exactly comfortable with it. It was when the sun went down that I worried the most about James finding me. I never knew if he was out there, lurking, biding his time until I was most vulnerable. So far, so good. But it had only been a little over a week. Who the hell knew what was going on with him and not knowing made me feel uneasy as fuck.

For a distraction I tried to read, but I quickly found that it was just too damn quite in that house. So I found myself turning on the television for noise and reading to avoid thinking. Pathetic, but it worked somewhat and quickly became my nighttime ritual.

For the last two hours I had been completely engrossed in my book. The television was on some stupid reality show and I felt as relaxed as I could possible get.

That is until there was a knock on the door.

I looked up from my book to the clock. It was 10:30. Who the hell would be knocking on the door at 10:30 at night? Another knock came and I froze. Charlie wouldn't be home for almost two hours. The television's soft glow would surely show through the windows letting whoever was on the other side of that door know that someone was home. That_ I_ was home.

_What the fuck do I do?_

A third and more persistent knock came and I looked around for a weapon. "Fuck." I let out in a huff when I looked around unsuccessfully. Charlie was a fucking cop and all I could find that would remotely work was a damn umbrella. I grabbed it from the hall closet and slowly made my way toward the door. I was quiet and methodical as I stood on the tips of my toes to look through the peep hole. I quickly came up with a plan in case it was James. I would lock myself in my room and call Charlie. The deadbolt on the front door was in place and it would at least slow him down.

Without breathing, I put my eye to the peephole and peered out. What I saw took me by complete surprise. It wasn't James at all, thank God. It was Edward. He was in a tuxedo. His tie was undone and his jacket was unbuttoned. I melted as I took in how handsome he was, but first and foremost, I wondered why he was here. I undid the deadbolt and the lock and opened the door, not even realizing I was in my sweats. I would regret that later.

"Jesus, you scared me." I said in a breath that I had been holding since he knocked on my door.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." He took in the sight of me and his eyes roamed until they fixated on the umbrella. "Were you going to hit me with that?"

"That depends. What are you doing here?" I tried to come off as playful and joking, but the honest fear I had rooted inside of me wouldn't let it sound as carefree as I intended it to be. Edward picked up on it.

"Well, I, uh, brought you some cake?" He asked in a sort of question. I hadn't noticed the white Styrofoam container in his hands.

"Cake?"

"Yeah, cake, from the wedding. You and Charlie are probably the only two people in Forks who weren't at Mike's wedding. I thought you might like some cake." His shy smile told me he was nervous.

"Charlie is working."

"Yeah, I know. I stopped at the station first to drop his off and to ask if were okay if I came over to give you your piece."

"You asked Charlie if you could come over?"

"Well, yeah. It, um, seemed like the proper thing to do." He said softly as he looked down to his shoes. God, how fucking cute was that?

"Oh, okay. Do you, um, want to come in?" He looked up and I almost chuckled at the expression on his face. He looked like a kid on Christmas with his face beaming.

"Sure, thanks." I took the cake from him and offered to get him something to drink while he made himself comfortable in the living room. I took a moment in the kitchen to get a hold of myself. I had gone from being scared to death to feeling like a teenager with a crush in less than three minutes. I needed to regroup. Grabbing a fork, two Cokes, and a few deep breaths, I made my way back to the living room to where Edward was waiting for me. He sat in the chair leaving me the entire couch which I was grateful for. I was starting to believe that Edward was just one of those true rare gentlemen.

"Thif ist fo goot." I muffled through the huge bite of black forest cake with vanilla frosting. "Sank ou." He let out a laugh as I spoke with my mouth chuck full.

"Well, I didn't want you and Charlie to be the only ones in the whole town not to get a piece of cake. Besides, I was ready to go." I at least attempted to swallow before I replied.

"Oh? I thought this was the wedding of the year. Weren't you having a good time?" It seemed like a normal question, but my desire to know the answer was a little overwhelming. Why did I fucking care so much if he had a good time or not?

"Eh, it was okay. Typical wedding bullshit, no surprises there. But I couldn't drink because I'm at the hospital tomorrow and I didn't really have anyone except my mom to dance with."

"No date?" What the hell was a gorgeous guy like this doing without a date?

"No date. I had all my eggs in one basket and it kind of backfired on me."

"Oh." It was all I could say because the expression on his face suggested that he was talking about me.

_Did he want me to go? Was I the eggs? Or maybe the basket? Fuck, I'd be the damn chicken if it meant that he was hoping he would see me there._

I glanced away nervously not wanting to know the answer. It was getting to be slightly awkward and I didn't know where to go from here. Luckily, Edward must have felt the same because he cleared his throat a little.

"So Alice says you guys are going to Port Angeles to do some shopping. I needed to go there myself at some point. Would you mind if I tagged along with you?" The weirdness between us suddenly lifted as the conversation took a less intense vibe.

"Well that depends." I said with a little smile.

"On what exactly?" He could sense I was going to tease him a little and smiled back.

"On whether or not you know anything about computers. If you don't, you're out of luck." Despite my overall fears about getting too close to Edward, I was enjoying this innocent banter with him. It was carefree and made my stomach tingle with butterflies. I don't remember doing this with anyone, even James.

_Is this flirting?_

"Oh, I know enough." His cocky smirk was sexy as hell.

_Yep, definitely flirting._

"Well then I guess you can go. I'm in the market for a new one and I know nothing about them at all. I need some advice."

"No problem. I'd be happy to help." He was serious now and I was finding myself looking forward to Tuesday more than I had. Edward put his hands on his knees and moved to get up. "Well, I should get going. I have a long day tomorrow. Are you working in the morning?" I stood up as well and followed him to the door.

"Yeah. Are coming in for pie and coffee?"

_Please say yes. Please say yes_.

"Of course." Suddenly it seemed like we were close, very close. He had his hand on the door knob but was looking at me. I looked back allowing myself to feel the thrill of his intense stare. He made me feel something I hadn't felt in a long time, not truly. He made me feel desired.

My eyes were so locked on his that I didn't even see him raise his hand to my face until it was so close he was almost touching me. Instead of letting him gently touch me, I flinched and stepped back. I didn't even realize I had done it until it was already done. Edward stood there for a moment with his hand still outstretched towards me and a slightly hurt look on his face. He finally put his hand down and turned towards the door. I hated that I was so fucked up I couldn't accept the tender affection of this man.

"I-I'm sorry." I blurted out not wanting him to leave angry at me. He swiftly turned around, his eyes remorseful.

"Don't. Apologize. I promised you I wouldn't push and yet that is exactly what I was doing. I should be the one saying sorry. I really like you, Bella and I'm willing to wait. I'll wait until you're ready." Edward gave me one more apologetic look and then left without another word leaving me to think about what he had said.

He's willing to wait until I was ready. Ready for what? Friendship? Love?

I just wasn't sure, but I really hoped that someday I would be ready for something.

**Reviews are better than cake delivered by Edward in a tux!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I know, I know. I said this chapter was going to be up a week ago and believe me, I have very good intentions. Unfortunately a small family emergency took up a lot of my time this week. Things are okay now, but it had to take precedent over this. Thank you for your patience!**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 10**

**Weaving a Web**

"_Whoever wishes to keep a secret must hide the fact that he possesses one."_

_~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe_

**BPOV**

The next morning I walked into the diner early in the morning. Esme and the cooking staff were already getting ready for the day. As I returned the keys, Esme was quick to tell me how happy she was with how the diner looked this morning. Her compliments were a great way to start the day.

Edward came in shortly after to have his pie and coffee. We exchanged pleasantries and I was happy to see the heaviness of our parting words had diminished. Somewhat.

Clearing his plate gave way to another note written on a napkin.

_My favorite color is brown. Ask me why sometime._

I sighed feeling relieved that things weren't too weird between us.

As the morning progressed, the diner started to slowly fill up with people suffering from horrific hangovers and in desperate need of coffee. I had to hold back a chuckle when Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice shuffled in looking like death warmed over. As soon as they plopped themselves in a booth I went over to greet them with a fresh pot of coffee and a bottle of Ibuprofen.

"Hey guys. Coffee?" Four people nodded yes but only one responded.

"Bella My Fella, you are officially my favorite person today." Emmett said as he raised his mug in the air even though he couldn't open his eyes.

"Jeez, Emmett. Stop talking so loud." Rosalie laid her head on the table and covered her ears.

"So…I take it the whiskey sour fountain didn't disappoint?" All four groaned and I could tell that they had definitely had fun, just a little too much fun. I tried not to laugh but sight of them was just too damn funny.

"Ugh, that thing is pure evil. It gives the appearance of being all innocent with its free flowing fruit punch and makes you think that everything is just fine and dandy. One minute you are totally in control and then bam, you're on the dance floor rubbing your ass up against the minister to the tune of 'Baby Got Back.' Never. Again."

"You did that?" I asked in disbelief.

"No. That was all Jasper." Alice patted his back as she worked her mouth up into a brief smile before realizing how much it hurt to do that.

"Fuck, baby. I thought we agreed to never, ever mention that again. You said you would take it to the grave." Jasper groaned as he rubbed his face with both of his hands.

"And I will…now that I've told Bella." Jasper narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh, come on. Everyone in the whole damn town saw it. You are never living that shit down. You might as well as embrace it. It's part of your legacy."

"He embraced his leg, alright." Of course Emmett would have to chime in on Jasper's misery. He was looking a little better now that he was on his third cup of coffee.

We chatted for a little bit more before I had to tend to the other customers. The group didn't stay long, but Alice was sure to remind me of our shopping trip on Tuesday. Doing something as normal as going shopping with a friend was very exciting, but I would be lying if I didn't say that I was really looking forward to spending some time with Edward. That boy made my insides do flip flops.

Charlie had to work on Monday, but I had the entire day off. I had already decided that I was going to show him how grateful I was for accepting me unconditionally as well as prove how committed I was to making a life here. I spent the morning doing a huge cleaning. I vacuumed, dusted, mopped, scrubbed, and polished. I washed curtains, cleaned under the furniture, and wiped down all the windows. It took me until after noon to get everything done, but it was definitely worth it. Charlie wasn't a slob by any means, but it was obvious the house had lacked a woman's touch and a major cleaning for quite some time.

Once satisfied with the condition of the house, I took inventory of the kitchen. One thing I could thank James for was my ability to cook. He had demanded that I know a variety of dishes and now it would benefit Charlie, because let's face it; the man was a disaster in the kitchen.

I made a list that included many staples as well as specific things to make the meals I had planned. But that's as far as I got because I realized I had a dilemma. No car. I really wanted to surprise Charlie with a nice grilled steak when he got home, but I had no way to get to the store. At first I just resigned myself to the fact that it just wasn't going to happen, but then I had a brainstorm and acted on it before I could back out. I called Esme at the diner to see if Alice was around and if she might want to give me a ride. Unfortunately, she wasn't there but in true generous Esme style, she offered Emmett. In fact, she practically pushed him on me. Apparently he had been hanging around eating Esme out of house and diner and it was bugging the shit out of her. She had already shoved him out the door before I could protest.

Shopping with Emmett wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I had gotten over his size and disregard of personal space. It was just his nature and I knew he meant me no harm. We actually had a good time, when he wasn't throwing unnecessary shit into my cart. I had found out that Emmett was a Physical Education teacher and a coach of several sports at Forks High. He had been there a couple of years and absolutely loved it. Football practice would take up most of August so he always used the first half of summer to truly relax and do nothing. That meant he spent most of his days making a nuisance out of himself at the diner until Rosalie was done with her shift at the teen center. I immediately felt myself hanging on his every word because he was living the dream I had for myself. He captivated me as he spoke of a career that once upon a time I desperately wanted. Still did, apparently.

All in all, the shopping trip was a success. I got everything I needed and several things I didn't need, courtesy of Emmett. I learned a lot about him and in turn found out that we had many things in common. I was happy to say that Emmett was becoming a sure friend. I was his fella and was starting to feel comfortable with it. I even gave in and gave him a damn hug as he was leaving the house. After all, he did help me carry in and put away all the groceries. It was the least I could do.

When Charlie came home, he was a little overwhelmed with all I had done that day. The unshed tears in his eyes spoke volumes. I understood. It wasn't the cleaning or the cooking. It was that I was here and it didn't look like I was planning on going anywhere. We sat down to dinner and Charlie inhaled it like he had never eaten before. Taking care of him like this made me feel good. It was something I wanted to do for a long time. The conversation started out light enough, but as we were finishing it suddenly it took a turn that I hadn't planned on taking.

"Were you happy, Bells? Was Phil a good dad?" Charlie blurted out like it had been on the tip of his tongue for awhile. It caught me off guard, but I wanted to give him some answers.

"I was happy and Phil was a good dad, the best. I wish I had known about you, though. I could have had two great dads. I don't know why Mom didn't tell me, but I can't be angry with her. I've tried, but I just can't…" I looked down to hide what I was sure to be tears. To my surprise, Charlie got up and pulled me into a hug. It startled me at first, but in a second I hugged him back with as much feeling as I could. It felt so right and it was exactly what I needed.

"Shhhhh. I know. As much as I want to, I can't be mad at her either. If Phil was good to you, then I'm okay with the rest. All that matters is that we have a second chance. I'm just so glad you're here now." We continued to enjoy each other's comfort for a few more minutes. In that time I learned a lot about Charlie Swan. First, there was a part of him that still loved my mother after all this time and after all that she had done to keep him away from me. Second, all he had ever wanted was my happiness, even if he couldn't be a part of it. And finally, the most important thing, he wanted me to be a part of his life now permanently.

Charlie pulled away and looked me over. "It's late and you've worked hard today. Why don't you go take a shower and go to bed and I'll clean up here?" As much as I wanted to protest, I couldn't deny that I was tired, not just from the physical work but from the conversation we had just had. I knew that this was probably the best time to spill my guts about the rest of my story, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It had been a busy day and I had another one planned for tomorrow. My mind was shutting down without my permission. It would have to wait for another day, but I promised myself that I wouldn't wait too long.

After a very restful sleep, I found myself up pretty early. I was excited about my shopping trip but there was something I needed to do first. I slid out from the space between the wall and my desk the envelope that held all my important no-so-legal legal papers. I was going to need some money for the things I wanted to buy. I still had over a thousand dollars on the prepaid cards but decided that I should keep those for an emergency. That left the bank account. I hadn't noticed before but now I realized that it was set up in a bank here in Forks. My mother had thought of everything. Grabbing the necessary documentation, I asked Charlie if he would drive me to the bank and of course it wasn't a problem. He offered to let me take the car myself, but since the car was a police cruiser I passed on that one. He drove me and waited in the car while I went in. I was able to take out a wad of cash that would finance my shopping excursion without having to answer any awkward questions.

An hour later Edward and Alice picked me up and we were heading to Port Angeles. Edward looked delicious as always. I tried not to focus on his perfectly imperfect head of hair from where I was sitting in the back seat, but it was near impossible. I wanted to touch it, run my hands through it, but I don't think anyone wanted Edward to crash the car so I refrained. I was thankful that Alice had twisted around as far as her seatbelt would allow so she could talk to me. It was a necessary distraction.

"So this Saturday it's supposed to be warm and sunny. We need to take advantage. I was thinking of a barbeque. Oooh, we should have it at the house so we can swim. What do you think?" I honestly didn't know what she wanted me to say. I wasn't sure if this was an invitation and if it was, I wasn't sure if it was something I would want to go to. Alice seemed like the kind of girl that didn't do anything small. The thought of being around a lot of strange people didn't really sit well with me. Luckily I didn't have to say anything.

"I don't know, Ali. I don't think Mom and Dad want us to be having any more parties. You remember what happened last time, don't you?" Alice's face fell as she seemed to recall a bad memory.

"You had to bring that up, didn't you?"

"Bring what up?" Now I was curious.

"Absolutely nothing." Alice said with finality.

"If you call the riding lawn mower ending up in the pool nothing, then so be it. I think Mom and Dad saw that one a little differently." I gasped in shock and Alice huffed in annoyance. Edward went on to share some more details. "Somehow Alice's secret high school graduation party got a little out of control. Our parents came home to over two hundred kids in various stages of drunkenness. It took hours to make sure everyone got home safely. When they were all gone, my mom went up to bed and found two more…in there room…having sex in their bed. Ali was grounded until she left for college."

"Holy shit, Alice!" I never would have done that. Ever.

"I know, I know. Not one of my more stellar moments. But I learned my lesson. That will never happen again. Thanks, dear brother." Alice gave an Edward a soft smack on the shoulder and he reached over to ruffle her hair. "Anyway, I was thinking more of a small get together. Just us, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett. We could swim, eat, and just hang out." She said it casually but I wasn't stupid enough to understand the logistics of it all. Two committed couples, Edward, and me. It sounded like a set up. One that I wasn't sure if I was opposed to or not.

"Now that does sound like fun. What do you think, Bella? You in?" Edward's piercing eyes met mine in the rearview mirror and I was done. I couldn't have resisted even if I wanted to.

"I have to work in the morning, but yeah, I don't have anything else going on that day." That was the understatement of the year. "I'd love to, but only if I can bring something." Edward smiled from ear to ear and my heart did a little stutter.

"Fantastic!" Alice clapped her hands together. We spent the rest of the ride planning out the finer details for that Saturday and were in Port Angeles before we knew it. Edward went off to do his errands while Alice and I went shopping for clothes. We planned to meet up for lunch and then Edward was going to help my buy a computer. I thought it sounded good since I was only planning on picking up a few new outfits and some other essentials. Alice, on the other hand, muttered that she would make due with the time constraint but that it was going to be 'next to impossible to choose an entire new wardrobe in such a small amount of time.'

_New wardrobe? What?_

Two hours later I had bought more clothes than I had owned in my entire life to date. I had jeans, shirts, dresses, skirts, bras, underwear, sock, shoes. You name it, I had it. We were at the last store before heading over to the food court to meet Edward. Alice was trying to convince me to buy this new skimpy royal blue bikini that she made me try on. She insisted it was made for me and said that it practically made my skin 'sparkle' whatever the hell that meant. I had never owned a bikini in my life and told Alice just that.

"I'm sorry…what?" Is all Alice could say as she attempted to stop the hysterical laughter that erupted from her mouth.

"I said I've never owned a bikini before. I just…never felt comfortable in one."

"I don't know why the hell not. You are hot, Bella. I would kill for your boobs." I looked down to my chest. Okay, they were kind of nice, but other than that, Alice didn't know what she was talking about. Looking in the mirror all I saw was plain and average. There was nothing hot about plain and average.

"Yeah, right." I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"Well, you may not see it, but certain other people do." Alice said it like she knew who these certain other people were. Now I was intrigued.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, Bella. You are so, so…unobservant. Have you not seen the way my brother looks at you? He is like a damn puppy dog. I have never seen him like this. He likes you… a lot."

"Alice, I think you may be mistaken…" She cut me off.

"Are you telling me that you know my brother better than I do? I have known him for last twenty-two years and in that time he has never gone to a wedding stag in the hopes that someone would show up, brought cake to said person but only after asking her father's permission, change his entire morning routine just so that he can see someone in their working environment, or pretend he needs to go shopping just so he can drive that person to the mall. The boy is smitten."

"I…I…" I didn't know what to say. He told me he liked me, but if Alice was right, he liked me a lot more than I thought possible. And if truth be told, I liked him a lot too, but there were a million and one reasons why I shouldn't let myself get too attached to him.

_How about reason number one: you're still fucking married._

"Alice, I don't know if or when I would be ready for a committed relationship with anyone. I have so many things I need to work out for myself before I can even think about that. I don't want to lead him on." Alice must have sensed my panic.

"Hey, it's okay. Edward would never do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. He just wants to woo you and a little wooing never hurt anyone. Just enjoy it and see where it leads. If you let him, he would be very good to you even if it never gets any further than friendship. And I'm not just saying that because I'm his sister. He is one of the most moral, compassionate, and loyal people I know." I got what she was saying. I had seen all of these sides of Edward in action. He was the real deal, but I still didn't trust anyone and I wasn't sure I would ever be able to. But we both liked each other, there was no doubt about that. And Alice was right; there wasn't anything wrong with a little wooing. I could just try to let things progress naturally.

I decided to buy the bikini.

Edward was already at the food court when we got there. He had a couple of bags in his hand but it didn't look like he had gotten much. Alice's words about faking the need to shop wafted through my mind making me wonder if Alice had been right. He gave us a big smile as he pushed himself off the wall. Then he noticed all the bags we were carrying and started to laugh. He reached out to grab a couple that were falling from my hand.

"You've been Aliced." He chuckled.

"Hey, I take offense to that. Bella now has a well-rounded wardrobe and will be prepared for any and every occasion."

"That is for sure. I should be set for the rest of my life."

"No, just until fall." My smile fell and Edward laughed. Again.

"Alice, let the girl breath a bit. Are you hungry?"

"Starving." We made a trip to the car and then went back inside to have lunch. Alice and I got subs and Edward got some pizza. We found a table and chairs to sit at and were having a great time just joking and goofing around. I was really starting to consider these guys my friends and it felt good. It felt normal.

After we were finished, Alice announced that she has some things she wanted to look for and suggested that Edward and I shop for a computer and she would meet up with us later. Edward thought that was a great idea and tentatively reached down to my hand and pulled me in the direction of the electronics store. Alice smiled and mouthed 'have fun' before heading in the other direction.

"Is this okay?" He said when we had been walking a bit and he had not let go of my hand. I had to think. Was this okay? It felt nice, incredibly nice. His large hand was warm and covered mine protectively. How could something that felt so comforting not be okay?

"Yeah." I said quietly. He beamed a smile in response as we continued through the mall.

"So what are you looking for in a computer?"

"Nothing too fancy. Internet, word processing, e-mail, the usual. Oh, and I also need a printer."

"Well that should be pretty simple." And it was. Within thirty minutes Edward had found me a reasonably priced laptop and printer that would service all my needs and beyond. He knew what to ask the salesman but made sure that I was part of the decision-making process every step of the way. He explained things to me when I needed it and he never took over. His demeanor made it clear to the salesman and me that despite knowing nothing about computers, I was the one buying it and my opinion mattered. I was in charge and it felt fucking wonderful.

Since everything had gone so well we still had an hour before we had to meet Alice. Window shopping was out since we had two pretty large boxes to carry. Edward had the great idea of getting a booth at one of the ice cream places and having Alice meeting us there. Within a few minutes the waitress was placing two of the largest sundaes in front of us on the table. The looked delicious and my mouth watered as I took my spoon and dug in.

"Mmmm. Ohmago. Sooo goo." Edward laughed at me as he took a bite of his own sundae. I could feel Edward staring at me as I ate my ice cream. He ate his too, but his eyes never left me. I felt exposed under his gaze. I didn't know what he was thinking. I didn't know what to say, so I focused on the sundae in front of me.

"Bella? Can I ask you something?" I swallowed what was in my mouth as my eyes lifted to meet his. I could see the internal battle going on in his eyes. He wanted to ask his question, but he was afraid. He was afraid of how I would react. It scared me to think what he was going to ask, but he had been nothing but wonderful to me. I nodded knowing that I wanted to give him at least some of the answers he was looking for.

"What exactly made you come to Forks?" This I could answer without giving away too much. I took a deep breath.

"When my parents were killed in the car accident, I was going through some of my mom's papers and found some letters Charlie had written about wanting to see me. I was so young when we left I had no recollection of him. My mother had said nothing about him. I didn't even know he was alive. When I finally recovered from the shock I knew I had to come here to see if…well, I had to take a chance." Even though it was just a snippet, it felt good to get it out. Edward tentatively reached across the table and took my hand. It was comforting and reassuring.

"What about the people you left behind? Friends, other family members? Do they know you're here?" This is where I had to be careful.

"There wasn't anyone else." He looked at me in disbelief and I hated the web of deception that was growing by the day. At some point I needed to trust someone. Could I trust him? I wanted to but before I could say anything else Alice arrived and plopped herself next to me in the booth. Edward and I broke away our hands and our eyes and just like that the intensity of the moment was gone.

"I'm beat. How did you guys make out?"

"Great. I'm officially the proud owner of a new computer, thanks to Edward."

"Hey, that was all you. You guys ready to go?" We all agreed it had been a very productive shopping trip but we were all ready to end it.

One the way home, Edward offered to help set up my computer which I happily accepted because I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. Alice was supposed to meet up with Jasper so Edward dropped her off first and then we headed to my house. The cruiser was gone so I knew that Charlie had already left for work. Edward helped me carry in all of my bags as well as the computer and printer.

"So where do you want it?" I couldn't help but notice Edward's arm muscles flexing with the weight of the computer box in his arms. They were so pretty and I felt a little dazed for a moment.

_Snap out of it, for fucks sake!_

"Um, I think my room. It's the second door on the left. Why don't you head up and I'll find us something to drink." I really just needed to get away and regroup.

"Sounds good." He began to climb the stairs and I bounced towards the kitchen. There was a boy in my room. A drop dead gorgeous boy. Hooking up my equipment. In my room.

My inner thirteen year old was jumping up and down and I suddenly felt the need to get up there. Taking the steps two at a time I started talking before I made it to my room.

"I got us some Cokes…" The words trailed off my lips as I stopped short when I walked into the room. The desk had been moved slightly from the wall and Edward was hovering over the now spilt contents of the envelope that I had carefully hid. His brow furrowed in confusion as he glanced over the various documents. Upon hearing me, Edward snapped his head up to mine in surprise. Like a deer in the headlights, he had been caught. This was not good. Not good at all. "What are you doing?"

"I was just, uh, trying to hook some wire up and when I, um, moved the desk a little this fell out." Instinctually I tried to wrack my brain to think of something that would get me out of this mess. I couldn't think of a damn thing. Edward took advantage of my silence to ask what I had been dreading. "Bella…what is all this stuff?"

"It's…it's nothing." I took three steps, put the sodas on the desk, and bent down to quickly gather up all of the evidence hoping that Edward hadn't seen much.

"It's doesn't look like nothing." We both stood up when I had finally everything put back into the envelope. I didn't speak. I just protectively hugged the nine by eleven pouch that held my entire story to my chest. "Most people don't feel the need to have three different names unless they're in some kind of trouble." He stood there and waited for me to respond. And waited. And waited. It was clear that Edward wanted me to tell him something, anything.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" I huffed.

"No, probably not." I was afraid he would say that. It meant I would have to do something that I didn't want to. The thought of it made me sick actually.

"Well, then I'm sorry, but I don't really think we can be friends." Edward snapped his eyes to mine. He was angry. Very angry.

"Seriously? Well, fuck that Bella. It's obvious you are running away from something but I am not going to let you run away from me." Edward had never yelled at me before until now. I knew I deserved it and I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but it was all just a little too familiar. "Why won't you let me help you?" He took a step towards me.

And there it was.

The flinch.

It wasn't a big one, just a small shoulder shrug of sorts. But it was there. And Edward saw it.

He froze and his hand stopped mid hair grip as his eyes practically bore holes into mine. "Did you…did you think I was going to_ hit_ you." I didn't know what to say, because somewhere deep inside me, the thought had crossed my mind. And I hated myself for it. "Unfuckingbelievable. I don't know what the hell happened to you, but I would never, ever lay a hand on you." The pain in his voice made a lump form in my throat and tears spring to my eyes.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Edward. It's not you, you did nothing wrong. It's me, it's always me." His eyes softened a little at my admission. Showing Edward how broken I was, well it was more than I could handle.

"I want to help you." He said with much more control than he had just a minute ago.

"I don't…I can't…" The words were right there but I couldn't get them out. He sighed in defeat. He realized he was pushing too hard and started to back peddle.

"Fine. I understand. I don't want to lose your friendship. But if you can't trust me at least think about letting Charlie help you. Whatever past you are running from, it's going to come back to haunt you. And when it does, you shouldn't have to face it alone." I nodded slightly letting him know I heard him but wasn't agreeing to anything. He sighed again and gave me one last look before turning back to the computer. After checking a few things and pushing the desk back up against the wall he turned to me. I still had yet to move from that spot or say anything.

"Well, you should be all set. I think I'm going to get going. I'll lock the door on my way out." Slowly he made his way back to me and reached down for my hand. "Please, think about what I said." Giving my hand a small squeeze, he let it go and then left my room. I didn't move until I heard the sound of his car starting and backing out of the driveway.

The weight of all my secrets felt heavier than ever. Edward was right in so many ways. My past would come back to haunt me. It was just a matter of time. I shouldn't have to face it alone. Realistically I don't think I could. I sat down on my bed still clutching the envelope. Thoughts and questions swirled around my head but none of it made any sense.

I needed to make some decisions. And soon.

**I know, some of you want to slap Bella right now. She's almost there, I promise!**

**I entered a one-shot for the Fic a Pic Contest hosted by ****Souplover9**, **Spanglemaker9, and TallulahBelle. It's called **_**A Conversation Among Angels**_** and I really tried to be different with this one. There are a lot of great entries. Voting is open until February 22****nd**** (sorry about the late notice) so please go ahead and check it out. I know you want to!**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~ficapiccontest**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello all! Sorry for the delay. This chapter did not come easily and I had to take a break from it before I went nuts. In the meantime, I wrote a one-shot for the Let the Games Begin contest. I'm not a great lemon writer but Major Leagueward gave me a lot of inspiration. Check out my story, ****Extra Innings****, as well as the other entries if you have time.**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Let_the_Games_Begin_2011/89098/**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 11**

**Confessions**

"_Three things cannot long stay hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth."_

_-____Siddhartha_ _Gautama_

**BPOV**

For the rest of the week, things between Edward and I were strained. He still came in for his coffee and pie. We still exchanged pleasantries, but our conversation did not flow as freely as it once had.

I had done that. It was all me.

I had hurt him with my defensiveness. The second I threatened to do away with our friendship I wished I could take it back. I was disgusted with myself for throwing all his kindness back in his face as if it didn't matter. Especially since I didn't mean it. At all. In fact I might have depended on his friendship, a little too much maybe. The thought of losing it scared me out of my freakin' mind and belittling our relationship to him was my lame and messed up attempt to control the situation before it was taken from me. Hurt before be hurt. Stupid and irrational, but a very real fear for me.

Even thought things were off between us, Edward still left me his napkin notes, but no longer were sweet little tidbits of information. They had meaning behind them and the weight of his words just added to the overall stress I was feeling.

_I'm a really good listener._

_I will not judge you.._

_Trust me, please._

Every time I read one of his notes the heavy feeling inside me got worse. I felt sluggish and exhausted with the thoughts that consumed me and constantly battled inside my brain. I had been thinking a lot since Edward had left my room on Tuesday. The whole encounter replayed in my mind a thousand times. The secrets I had tried to guard so carefully were starting to come out. It was just a matter of time before they were all known. On one hand I wanted to reveal them and purge them from my body and my conscience. On the other hand, I was deathly afraid of the consequences of putting them out there. I liked this town, these people, my new friends, and most of all Charlie. It would destroy me if I lost them to the truth.

By Friday I was all wound up in knots but had made a step in the right direction. I had come to the conclusion that I had to tell someone. Once my decision had been made it brought up the question of whom, which brought on a whole new round of questioning, second guessing, and playing devil's advocate. Edward would be a logical choice. He had practically begged me to open up to him and promised me his help. He already knew I had different aliases and probably had some ideas as to what the true story was. It might not be so shocking for him to hear and in turn it would be easier for me to tell. But then there was Charlie. He was my father and part of me felt like I should confide in him first, but every time I tried I chickened out. The thought of losing him just as soon as I found him was all out crushing. He was the only family I had left. If I lost him, I had nothing.

The one and only thing I was sure of was that the longer I went without saying anything, the harder it would be to come clean. Not to mention the more danger I would be in. I was drowning in a sea of indecision, hesitation, and all out fear.

Saturday morning I was extremely keyed up and jumpy. Even Charlie watched me cautiously as I bounced from one thing to the next without really getting anything accomplished. Feeling useless at home I finally decided to leave for my shift at the diner, even if I was a bit early. At least there I would have to focus or a lot of people would get pissed off.

I managed to get through it relying on autopilot and without making any major mistakes. Unfortunately as soon as I took my apron off the anxiety returned and I was back to square one. I didn't call Charlie for a ride and decided to just run home. I had never been an exercise fanatic, but I needed an outlet for all my pent up stress and James always ran on the treadmill after a hard day at work. I hated giving James credit for anything but in this case he was right. As my muscles burned and my lungs heaved, I could feel the tension begin to leave my body. Sweat streamed down my face and stung my eyes and I ached all over, but I didn't stop until I got home. Charlie was shocked when he saw me.

"What the hell, Bells? Did you run all the way home? It's over five miles. Why didn't you call me?"

When I was finally able to catch my breath I just told Charlie that I felt like running today. He accepted it but not before muttering the word 'crazy' under his breath. I chugged a glass of water and took an inventory of how I felt. Surprisingly, I felt much better. Not perfect, but better enough to decide that I was going to run home from the diner every day. It would be my stress therapy and help get me in shape as well.

Noting the time, I went to work on preparing for the barbeque. I made a Caesar salad and a peanut butter pie as my contribution to the festivities. Working in the kitchen relaxed me even further as it was a place I felt extremely comfortable. Add to it a hot shower to wash away the diner and running grime and I almost felt normal. I was actually looking forward to going to this barbeque and getting to know the group of people that I hoped to call my friends. Besides, Edward was going to be there and I was eager to try to get us back to where we were before that disastrous scene in my bedroom. Before long, Charlie was dropping me off at the Cullen house on his way to finish up some paperwork at his office. The door opened and Alice came flying out before I had made it up the steps.

"Bella, I'm so glad you came. These look great!" Alice said as she took the pie off my hands. She looked great in her hot pink bikini top and jean cutoffs. "Everyone is out back." She led me to the back yard where everyone was already enjoying the sun. Emmett was slathering Rosalie in sunscreen. She looked like a Sports Illustrated model in her blood red, barely there bikini. Jasper and Edward were inspecting the grill and looking to get it started. Edward had on a black and white bathing suit that hung low on his hips and a white t-shirt that clung in all right places. He must have sensed that I was ogling his goodies because he looked up from the grill right into my eyes. A flood of embarrassment washed over as I gave a quick wave in his direction and looked away.

_How. Fucking. Mortifying._

Rosalie saw me and walked over to give me a hug. "Bella, it's so good to see you. We're so happy you decided to join us." There was nothing but complete sincerity in her eyes. "Did you put on any sunscreen?"

"No, I didn't even think about it."

"Well, no worries. You can use some of mine. You are sure to burn if you don't." She led me to a lounge chair and picked up the bottle of sunscreen and handed it to me. Immediately my insecurities got the best of me and I hesitated. Rosalie sensed my hesitation and leaned in so that she could talk in a low voice. "Bella, it's okay. If you don't want to take off you shorts and tank off, then don't. Do what is comfortable for you." Little did she know that comfortable for me would be hiding at home by myself.

_New life, new you. Take a chance._

There was absolutely no reason why I couldn't show a little skin. Alice was. Rosalie was…a lot. Hell, women were wearing less and less all the time. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be able to embrace my feminine and dare I say sexy side. I shook my head and took a deep breath. "No, thanks but I'm good." I shimmied out of my tank top but decided to keep my shorts on, promising myself that if I went swimming I wouldn't give taking them off a second thought. Rosalie gave me an understanding smile knowing that this was out of my comfort zone.

"Jeez, Bella. Alice was right, you do have nice boobs. Good choice in losing the shirt." I chuckled as I started to lather the sunscreen trying to get comfortable in my new found confidence. I chanced a glance over to Edward to find that he was the one staring at me this time. He coughed and looked away the second I caught him. He seemed a little bit…dazzled. My heart fluttered thinking that he liked what he saw.

"Rosalie, could you get my back for me?" I had gotten every place else but wasn't able to reach behind me. I pulled my hair up off my back and brought it forward so Rosalie could work.

"Bella, what the hell happened to you back here?"

"Uh, what?" Her sharp question pulled me out of my Edward fantasy.

"Your back, it's covered in scars." Fuck I forgot about that. I felt my heart start to race as panic started to well up. I couldn't let on that I was bothered by this.

_Time to lie, Bella._

"Oh, I tripped and fell backwards into a mirror a few years ago. I can be such a klutz sometimes." More like I was thrown into a mirror, but no one needed to know that but me. James had been pissed because I spilled wine on his favorite shirt. Stitches would have probably been a good idea but not an option. Hospitals asked questions. The next day at the library I had to ask Angela to make sure all the glass was out. She wanted to take me to the emergency room but I adamantly refused claiming there was no need until she finally gave up. I spent over a week sleeping on my stomach. Once I healed I never really thought about it. There wasn't any time to dwell when I needed to be on my guard at all times. I just prayed Rosalie believed me.

"Shit, that must have sucked." Why yes, it did.

"Well that's what I get for not paying attention." Rosalie applied a layer of sunscreen to my entire back.

"Yeah, I guess." She didn't sound like she agreed with me but let it go. When she was finished I let my hair go and shook it out so that it once again covered most of my upper back. I was now glad that I had left it down.

Needing to get out of there for a second to regroup, I excused myself to use the bathroom. Alice directed me to the closest one which was in the pool house. I took the moment of privacy to take a few breaths and remind myself that I was here to have fun. When I came out, Edward was waiting on a couch on the other side of the room. He stood up when he noticed my presence.

"Hi." He said softly.

"Hi." I replied. He looked so damn beautiful.

"Bella, I just wanted to ask…are we okay?" He looked so unsure of himself and I immediately wanted to run up and hug him.

"Of course we're okay." He took three steps to close the distance between us and tentatively reached his hand out to mine. The immediate relief I felt from his hand was powerful.

_Warmth. Comfort. _

"Good, because I want us to have fun today, okay?" Any awkwardness that had been between us suddenly lifted.

"I'd like that." He smiled his crooked grin and pulled my hand up to his lips where he placed a tender kiss before letting it go. He opened the door and motioned to me to exit before him.

_Such a gentleman._

Once the air had been cleared between us I found myself to be much more relaxed. The next couple hours went by quickly as I enjoyed and got to know my new friends. Alice and Rosalie made me feel like we had known each other forever. Emmett was hysterical with his antics and Jasper and Edward showed off some of their silly side too. They even got me to show off one of my few talents, balancing a spoon on my nose. They whooped and hollered as the spoon stayed put without my hands there to hold it. It was stupid, but they acted like it was the best trick they had ever seen. After that, I realized that this was a group of people that I truly fit in with. It was nice. It had been years since I got together with some friends just to hang out.

A few hours later everyone was getting hungry and we decided to eat. The guys tended the grill and we girls went to the house to get all the side dishes. When the table was set and the food was almost ready, I offered to get around of drinks for everyone. I grabbed two sodas and four beers. Rosalie and I had decided to switch to soda after all the sun we were exposed to. Everyone was sitting down the table except for Emmett who was still manning the grill. I put all the drinks down and walked over to Emmett to give him his beer since he was claiming that he couldn't reach it. I was two steps away when he expressed his gratitude.

"Thanks, babe."

That word. That word made me stop in my tracks as I could feel all the color drain from my face. James had used it on me often: when he yelled at me, when he degraded me, when he hit me, when he forced himself on me. At that moment I wasn't in the Cullen backyard. I was back in Chicago.

"_You can make it up to me, babe…later." _

"_Come, babe. Let's go have some fun." _

"_You're ready to serve me, aren't you babe?"_

"_That's it, babe. You take everything I give you, my little bitch." _

"_Mine. You are fucking mine. You remember that, babe."_

The beer bottle slipped from my hands and I could hear it shatter all around me. Despite being outside, everything started to close in around me. I could hear the pounding in my chest as my heart beat faster and faster. There was a ringing in my ears and my lungs were getting tight. Air. I needed air. Why couldn't I breathe?

"Bella, are you okay?" Emmett was instantly in front of me but I couldn't answer him. I wanted to tell him I couldn't breathe. "Edward, get over here. She needs you."

Soon I felt surrounded by people. They were all so close. It was hot. I was burning. I wanted them to back away. Too. Close.

_I. Can't. Breathe._

"Alice, go get a paper bag from the house. Bella, look at me." It was Edward. Edward, my savior. It took all my energy to focus on his eyes. "You're hyperventilating. You need to slow down your breathing."

_Slow it down? I'm not getting any air. No. Need to take more breaths._

Edward must have seen the panic in my eyes. "Watch me. Try to breath with me." I did what he said and it seemed to work a little bit. Alice came with the paper bag and soon I was close to breathing normally. "Let's get her into the pool house. She shouldn't be in the sun." Edward and Rosalie were on either side of me as they led me to the small building. Once inside, they led me to the couch where I continued to regulate my breathing. Edward held my hand, rubbing soothing circles on the top of it.

"Bella, what happened back there?" Edward asked after I was completely calmed down.

"I-I don't know. Too much sun, maybe." It sounded lame, even to me. He started to get pissed.

"Bullshit. Why won't you talk to me?" He was raking his hand through his hair with frustration.

I can't….I…" I felt the panic rise inside once more and I grabbed the bag to help control my breathing once more. I didn't now how I was going to explain this.

"Edward, can you give us a minute…alone." I had forgotten Rosalie was there until she spoke. Edward wasn't happy about it, but nodded and left the pool house. Rosalie didn't say anything for a few minutes. She just put her arm around my shoulders until I was once again in control. Finally, she spoke.

"How long?"

"How long…what?" I was confused by her question.

"How long before he started hurting you?" Immediately I went on the defensive.

"I-I-I don't know what you're talking about." The blatant lie that fell from my lips only made Rosalie frown. She wasn't blind and she sighed at my transparent deception.

"For me it was six months." I was frozen into silence, not knowing what to say. "I met Royce in college. He was everything I thought I had been dreaming of. Good looks, promising future, treated me like a princess. I thought I was in love. But after awhile, the tender touches turned into smacks and jabs. He yelled at me all the time and threatened me a lot. One night, after a long evening of drinking, he came to my apartment and let himself in with the key I had given him. I won't give you the gory details, but the noises that came from my apartment, well lets just say they upset my neighbor downstairs. He came up to ask us to keep it down, but when it was obvious what was going on he broke the door down to get in. I was lucky. If Emmett hadn't come when he did, Royce probably would have killed me. As it is, the damage he inflicted may cause me to never have my own children."

I didn't even know how to begin to respond to that. Rosalie was so confident, so beautiful, so driven. It stunned me to think that this had happened to her too.

"Bella, I've been there. I know the signs. You don't trust anyone, you're secretive about your past, you don't like crowded places, and you flinch whenever someone comes near you. Someone hurt you." She was right. Every goddamn thing she was saying was right. I felt the last bit of resolve I had crumble right there on the couch. The tears started to trickle out of my eyes and Rosalie brought me into a hug. I had to do it. I had to tell someone.

"A little more than a year." I said timidly. Rosalie pulled away from me and looked me straight in eyes.

"I am so sorry that happened to you." She brought me back into the hug and rocked me back and forth as I cried. I cried for everything. The death of my parents, the lies I had been telling, for the years I had lost at the hands of James. My sobs slowly diminished into sniffling.

"There's more to the story. Much more."

"I thought there was by the way you just showed up in Forks. I'd be happy to listen."

"Thanks, Rosalie, for everything, but I think this is something I need to tell Charlie first."

"I completely understand. But Bella, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do, but there's a guy who is completely smitten and currently worried sick about you. Edward…well he's one of the good guys. He wants to be there for you. From my experience, the Cullen men some of the most dependable and kindhearted men you'll ever meet. From the day he saved me, Emmett has done nothing but support me in every way. Let Edward do that for you. If you lean on him, he won't let you down."

Before I could respond there was a soft knock on the door. Rosalie questioned me with her eyes and I nodded. "Come in." Edward came in looking hesitant and worried. His eyes settled on my red and blotchy face and an even more concerned look crossed his face. Rosalie squeezed my hand and got up to leave giving us some privacy. She and Edward had an unspoken word pass between them with a look and a pat on his shoulder. When she shut the door behind her, he turned his attention to me.

"Is…is everything okay in here?" Feeling how much he cared for me, I decided to take Rosalie's advice.

"No, not really. But I think I'm ready to make it right." Edward didn't say anything but a small smile started to form. "I need to go talk to Charlie. Do you think you could give me a ride?" His face fell slightly before recovering quickly.

"Of course. I'm just going to go change and then we can go." He grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of jeans that he must have discarded earlier and went into the bathroom." I was a little perplexed by his sullen mood. I thought he wanted me to confide in him and Charlie. I thought…

"Fuck." I said quietly to myself as the light bulb went off in my head. I never said that I wanted him to hear what I had to say.

_He thinks he's just the damn chauffeur. _

He opened the door to the bathroom and I was determined to fix this. "Edward, when I said I needed a ride home, I hope you didn't think I just wanted you to drop me off."

"Honestly Bella. It's no big deal. As long as you're talking to someone I don't…" He didn't have the chance to finish that sentence because this time it was me closing the distance between us. I reached up and put my fingers up to his lips to still their movements.

"Edward, don't. This is not going to be easy. At all. I want you there. I need you there. Please…would you stay?" Edward took a deep breath before taking my fingers and placing a kiss on each one.

"You know I will, Bella." Slowly he brought his arms around me and embraced me in a hug. It felt so good I never wanted to let go. A couple of minutes later he placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head. "Are you ready to go?"

"As ready as I'm ever going to be."

o~o~O~o~o

Most of the car ride was quiet. Both of us were submerged in our own thoughts but our hands were joined together over the consol. I continued to give myself an internal pep talk, listing off all the reasons why I needed to come clean. I tried not to think of the horrible consequences that could possibly result from my confession. I had to trust that these people who I was growing to love more and more each day would still want me around after all the crap I was about to unload.

Looking over to Edward I found myself drowning in the idea that he may not want to have anything to do with me after this. We had become friends but it didn't take an idiot to realize that both of us would like to try being more. At least right now he does. I have no idea what he'll want after I tell him that I'm married.

_Ugh._

We pulled in the driveway and Edward turned off the car. He was about to open his door but I tugged on his arm before he could. "Hey, Edward?"

"Yeah."

"You're going to hear a lot of bad things. Before we go in, I just wanted to let you know that there won't be any hard feelings if you decide you don't want to see me anymore. I'll understand." I couldn't even look at him when I said it. I would understand, but I prayed it wouldn't come to that. I could hear him shifting in his seat.

"Bella, look at me." I slowly raised my head to meet his gaze. "That won't happen. Nothing you say in there is going to change the way I feel about you. He tucked a stray strand of hair that had fallen around my face back behind my ear. "I just want to help you with whatever it is you're going through."

God he was just so…so…perfect.

I nodded and we both got out of the car and made our way up the steps. The cruiser was in the driveway so I knew Charlie was home. We found him sitting in his chair with his feet propped up watching a Mariners game. He looked up and smiled.

"I can't imagine that a party Alice planned is over already." He chucked and I admit it would have been good for a laugh if the rock sitting in my stomach didn't feel like it had gained twenty pounds.

"Actually, Charlie, I have something I want to talk to you about. I just have to go upstairs to my room for a minute first." Before either of them could say anything, I ran up to my room and grabbed the envelope with all of my documentation in it. I figured it would help me explain. On my way back I stopped at the top of the stairs. I could here the two talking and I couldn't help but listen.

"Do you know what this is all about?"

"Not really, I'm just here for moral support. She had a pretty major breakdown over something harmless Emmett said, like it triggered some memory. Rosalie talked to her and I think she's going to open up about some things. I have a feeling she's had it rough."

"I've had that feeling too, but I haven't wanted to push her. I was so afraid if I did she'd run and I'd never see her again." I felt myself well up with tears. I was a fool to keep the truth from Charlie so long. Well, ready or not, he was going to get it all now.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs I pretended I hadn't heard a word they had said. I sat on the couch and Edward sat next to me. I didn't say anything as I took out some of the things in the envelope. Edward had already seen some of them so he didn't seem surprised, but Charlie taken aback while he studied them. Now it was time for me to speak.

I pointed to my Florida driver's license. "Isabella Dwyer. This was my name growing up. Mom had given me Phil's last name when they got married." I then pointed to my library identification card. "Isabella Bennett. This is the name I went by for the last two years. My _married_ name." I felt Edward tense beside me. I couldn't look at him. If I wanted to get through this I couldn't let myself see the expression on his face. Anxious to move on I pointed to the Washington State driver's license. "And Bella Swan is the name I used to disappear and escape my husband."

Silence. Neither of them said a word. I waited. And waited. They just kept looking at the things on the coffee table. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Please…say something." Not knowing what they were thinking was killing me. Charlie looked up at me and I didn't see any of the negative emotions I thought I would. I only saw confusion and concern.

"Bells, I think you need to start at the beginning." So I did. I told them about living in Florida with my mom and Phil and how happy I was. I told them about college and my dream to be a teacher. I told them about meeting James and how we ended up married in Chicago. It was hard, but I told them about the mental and physical abuse I suffered at the hands of my cheating husband. I told them about finding out about my parents' death and how James had falsely tried to make amends, only to find out it was just a ruse to keep his control over me. I told them about the officer and the package from my mother that contained all the things I needed to disappear. I told them of the shock I felt in learning about Charlie and tearing the house apart looking for any evidence of the real father I never knew. I told them about how I decided to leave my life and try to find a new life here, with my father. Two hours later, my story was completely told and every secret I had was lingering in the air waiting for their reaction. I didn't leave out anything. They had allowed me to talk and never once interrupted me, but now that it was out there, I was afraid of what they might say.

I hadn't realized, but Charlie was now sitting on the other side of me, holding my hand. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you, to everyone."

"Oh, Bells." Charlie moved to wrap his arm around my shoulder. He was crying. I had made him cry. "You have nothing to apologize for. This is not your fault. That…that…ugh, that bastard. I'm going to kill…" I pulled away abruptly.

"No, you can't…he can't know I'm here. If he finds me he'll, he'll…" The panic was taking over again. My breathing was starting to speed up but I was powerless to stop it. Before I knew it, Edward was in front of me with another paper bag. He must have had it in his pocket. I took it and started to breath in and out.

"That's it, Bella. Nice and easy." My breathing slowed and the crisis was averted for now.

"I don't ever want to see him again." I whispered softly.

"I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen, but Bells, you need to be free of him completely and that means legally as well. You won't ever truly be able to move on if you aren't. If the day comes that you have to see him, you will not be alone. I will be right by your side." The passion and sincerity in Charlie's voice was unwavering.

"And so will I. We all will. We won't let anything happen to you." Edward was still in front of me, holding my hand.

I felt overwhelmed.

I felt undeserving.

But most of all, I felt loved.

"You're right. I need to be free, once and for all. What do I do?"

"_We_ are going to get in touch with a lawyer. We'll find out exactly what your rights are and how we go about getting you a divorce…and a restraining order." Charlie's use of the word 'we' made me feel warm inside. I was terrified at the thought of letting James know where I was, but with my family and friends by my side, I might just be able to survive it.

Edward decided that he was going to head home to give Charlie and I some time to ourselves. I walked him to the door.

"Give me your phone." I was a little confused but pulled it out of my pocket and gave it to him anyway. His eyebrows scrunched together in concentration while he punched in some numbers. I don't think I had ever seen anything so adorable. A phone ringing, his phone, shook me out of my gawking. "There. No you have your number and I have yours. I want you to call me if you need anything, day or night."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I thought by now he would have decided that I was more trouble than I was worth.

"I've told you, silly girl. I like you." As much as I loved hearing him say that, I knew it wasn't fair to him.

"Edward, you really shouldn't. You're so kind and sweet and pretty much…well perfect. I'm broken and have a ton of baggage and a husband who probably wants to kill me. This is who I am and you deserve so much more." He narrowed his eyes at me.

"First of all, it is up to me who I should and who I shouldn't like. And I like you, baggage and all. Secondly, this is not who you are, not really. After all you have been through; I'm convinced that this is only a shell of who you truly are. The person who existed before _he_ crushed your spirit is still in there somewhere." Edward reached out for my hand I was happy to enjoy to oblige.

_Warmth. Comfort. _

"And I for one am going to enjoy watching her come out because I sure as hell can't wait to fucking meet her. I bet she's amazing."

I felt tears fill my eyes. He always, always made things better. Edward was starting to become one of the best friends I ever had. He tugged me forward and placed a kiss on my forehead. Without pulling away he whispered to me.

"I am so fucking proud of you. Sharing your story like that took guts. I'm glad you trusted me enough to let me listen. Thank you." By now the tears were not just filling my eyes, but spilling out of them as well. I wanted to tell him so much but I knew I would only choke on my words, so instead I put my arms around him and held him tight to me. I heard him sigh before hugging me back.

We stood there just enjoying each other's embrace for several minutes before we both pulled away. "I'm going to go. I bet you're exhausted. I'm at the hospital tomorrow but can I call you?"

"I'd like that." The smile on his face looked like I had given him the world.

"Great. Good night, Bella." I started to open the door but stopped, pivoted, and looked straight into my eyes. "You're not alone. Not anymore." Another smile and then he was gone.

_I'm not alone anymore._

For the first time in years I actually felt it.

**If you're happy that Bella finally confessed her secrets, show me some love and leave a review. Also, don't forget to check out my one-shot for the Let the Games Begin Contest, ****Extra Innings****.**

**Thank you!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I owe you guys a huge apology. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get this chapter posted. It just didn't want to come out and after several attempts and scrapping them, I just realized I needed to walk away from it for a bit. I found it a lot easier once I had taken a break and think this turned out decent. Still not exactly what I wanted, but I'm satisfied.**

**During my "break" from this story, I did write for two contests that are open for voting as we speak. I'll post the links below. I know you want to get reading!**

**AN: I don't own Twilight.**

**Chapter 12**

**Fireworks**

"_Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." _

_~Agnes de Mille_

**BPOV**

The first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes was how well rested I felt. I had actually slept…the entire night. No dreams, no tossing and turning, no nothing. It was like as soon as I hit the pillow my brain finally shut down and let me escape from the constant turmoil I had been in for the past few weeks.

_Weeks? Try years._

Needless to say it felt really, really good.

After indulging in a full body stretch, my mind began to replay the events of the previous day. Now it seems like all the worrying had been for nothing. Charlie had been so understanding and determined to help me out of this mess. Edward was…well he was just Edward. Unconditionally supportive. It made me sigh just thinking about it. He was wonderful and for some convoluted reason, he was interested in me. If I were being honest, I was interested in him too. Now that my entire story was out in the open and I was on the cusp of moving forward with my life, I felt that maybe I could start showing him some of this interest. He was always showing me, I wanted to reciprocate a little bit.

_Little bit my ass. You just want to kiss the gentleman right out of that boy._

God, that was true, but the Debbie Downer in me was reminding myself that I was still fucking married. It would not be fair to Edward to act like I was available when really that wasn't the case. I mean, I hated James and I did not feel one ounce of obligation or accountability towards him, but legally he was still my husband. For now.

I put that bag of disappointment aside for the time being as I was sure it was just about time for me to get ready for my shift at the diner. I was a little nervous about going in today. I had told Edward that he could tell his parents, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie everything for I knew that my little meltdown and abrupt departure from the barbeque had them worried. Edward made it clear that it wasn't necessary, but for me it was. These were people I could see forming true friendships with. Hell, I already considered them to be my friends, but friends didn't keep major secrets like this. I didn't want it between us so I decided that they should know everything. I just didn't want to be the one to do the telling. It was hard enough the first time. Understanding my reasons, Edward has said that he would tell them. Which meant that when I went to the diner today, I would have to face at least some of them.

_It has to be done. Better to just get it over with, now get your ass out of bed._

I stood up and caught a glance at my alarm clock as I stretched again.

_Eleven-thirty? You have got to be shitting me._

Fuck! I was supposed to be there for nine. I cursed again as I threw on some clothes and ran downstairs, practically missing each one on the way. Charlie was in the kitchen and went to say something but I flew by him, mumbled something about being late, and grabbed the phone. I was in such a panic I had to stop and rack my brain for the diner's phone number.

"Um, Bells. You can put the phone down."

"No, I have to call Esme. I can't believe I overslept. Why didn't you wake me up?" It came off more pissy than I had intended. It wasn't his fault I overslept.

"Because you don't have to go to work today." That stopped me. What did he mean? I looked at him in confusion. "Alice called earlier to tell you that she was taking your shift today. She said you needed time to _decompress_, whatever that means. I was going to tell her that she should talk to you but when I mentioned that you were still sleeping it kind of sealed the deal. She wasn't taking no for an answer, and I have to admit, I kind of agree with her. You had a hell of a day yesterday."

I felt my body relax a little knowing that I hadn't put Esme in a lurch. My heart squeezed a little at Alice's gesture.

"Yeah, I guess it was a little…overwhelming."

"How are you feeling today?"

"Honestly, much better. I feel like I actually slept."

"That's good. I hope you don't mind, I called my lawyer today…"

"It's Sunday."

"Don't worry, he's a good friend. Sam is going to put things in motion as soon as possible. We're going to get you away from…from…_him_. I promise."

"Charlie…I…I…" Caught up with emotion, I couldn't express myself. This man was so wonderful. He walked over and slowly so that he wouldn't take me off guard he raised his arms and pulled me into a hug. I let him. It felt so natural and I needed it in the worst way.

"Shhh…don't cry, Bells. I'm going to do my best to make sure this goes as quickly and smoothly as possible. I promise with everything I have he won't hurt you again, ever. Now just let me take care of this, let me take care of you. I have twenty-four years of catching up to do." His words just made me cry even harder. I was so lucky I had him. Charlie just held me in his arms in the middle of the kitchen until I was somewhat composed. I pulled away and noticed that I blubbered tears and snot all over him.

"You're shirt. I ruined it."

"Bells, you can't ruin flannel. It washes well." We both chuckled and the moment lightened considerably. I decided that since I had the day off I would start off with a quick run before showering. It had helped me clear my mind the day before and I knew it would be just what I needed today. This time, however, I would at least have proper clothing.

I turned to head out of the kitchen, but as I was leaving I felt myself compelled to say something to the man that was now my father. It needed to be said and it couldn't wait another second.

"Charlie?" He looked up from the sports section that he had turned his attention to.

"Hmm."

"I…I love you." His eyes softened and I was sure I could see them become glassy.

"I love you too, Bells. Always have."

o~o~O~o~o

The next several weeks flew by pretty quickly. Charlie and I had met his lawyer friend, Sam Uley to discuss my options. Due to my stupidity over the years, I hadn't been left with many. I had made many, many mistakes. I had no hard evidence of the physical abuse that I suffered at the hands of James. Sure I could tell you the story behind every scar, but I never went to the hospital and I had never tried going to the police. It was his word against mine, literally. Another mistake I made was falling for his tricks over and over again. It was true that he had manipulated me to get control of my parents' assets after they died, but I had been the one to sign the papers. That had been all me. The chances of fighting that and winning were next to none regardless of the circumstances. And let's not forget the fact that I was the one who walked away. Abandonment is the term Sam used. Apparently that was frowned upon and discredited anything I had against James.

This was not going to be easy.

My only option was to just file for divorce and hoped that James would just let me go. I wouldn't ask for anything, just the divorce. The problem is that I had to file in Illinois. Sam had a contact in Chicago that helped him with the logistics. He felt that it would be pretty easy to keep my whereabouts from him, but made me aware that I would probably have to make an appearance in Chicago for the hearing. The day he sprung that one on me I had crumbled to my knees in a full blown panic attack. Charlie had the foresight to bring a paper bag with him to the meeting. He helped me through it, getting me to calm down by reassuring me that I was not in this alone. If I had to go to Chicago, he would be right there with me. I was still uneasy about the whole thing, but if that's what I had to do to be free of my sadistic husband, then that's what I would do.

_You just keep thinking that…_

Once the initial meeting was over there wasn't a lot for me to actually do. Sam called often to keep us updated, but for now it was just a waiting game. Charlie took most of the calls and filtered it down to the basics of what I needed to know. I was more than grateful that he did that. It wasn't that I was uninterested in the status of my divorce. On the contrary, if anything I was too interested. At first I wanted to know every single tiny detail. It had completely consumed me without my knowledge and I finally realized that if I kept going the way I had been I was going to completely stress myself the fuck out. There were not enough paper bags in Forks to accommodate the number of meltdowns that I inevitably would have.

Divulging my secrets to Charlie and Edward had been just about the best thing I had done since I came to Forks. I hadn't realized how much they had weighed down on me like a ton of unrelenting bricks. It had been exhausting to say the least. Now that it was all out in the open I felt that the weight had been lifted up off my shoulders giving me some much needed relief. Add to it that none of my secrets hurt any of my new relationships, well, I was a new woman. I physically felt lighter. I had a job that I enjoyed, a father who loved me, and friends who accepted me baggage and all. And I was in the process of becoming single, a thought that made me down right giddy. To be free of James would be the icing on the goddamn cake.

_Being single would mean you could be with Edward._

I started to sigh at the thought but abruptly stopped myself. That kind of thinking was going to get me in trouble. I could feel myself beginning to fall hard for Edward. I mean, what's not to love. The man was just about perfect in every damn way, but until all of this shit with James was settled, I could not move on. Edward deserved someone who could give themselves to him completely and for now that could not be me. I told him this…over and over. He just kept saying that he wasn't planning on going anywhere and I should just 'shut the fuck up.' Because I am a selfish bitch I decided to do what he said and just enjoy his presence in my life. It was near impossible to push him away because deep down I didn't want him going anywhere. I wanted him by my side. I needed him by my side.

Like I said, selfish bitch.

I had thought my past would have had him running for the hills but it was almost like he did the complete opposite. He became even more attentive, more affectionate, more protective. We spent a lot of time together and now that I wasn't holding back anything, I let him get to know me…the _real_ me. I shared stories about my childhood, stupid things I had done, my hopes, my fears, my aspirations, and even things about my life with James. In exchange I was rewarded with a man who hung on my every word, laughed at all the right times, comforted me when I cried, and encouraged me when my insecurities began to cloud my thoughts. He got angry, down right pissed, at some of the things I had told him about James. During those times it was _I_ that often had to calm _him_ down. It made me feel good that I could do that for him but at the same time his reaction also reassured me that I was right in leaving James. I mean, I didn't regret it at all, but it was still nice to be validated.

Our relationship began to take on a whole life of its own. Above all else, we had grown to be friends, best friends. But there was always an undertone of the intimacy that I think we both wanted. Physically, we had not gone beyond anything but tender innocent caresses and hand holding, but somehow we found away to touch each other more and more as time went on. After awhile it felt as natural as riding a bike and I couldn't even imagine not having his touch and proximity to comfort and ground me. For me it was a reassurance that I was safe and cared for. We didn't really speak about what was happening between us. I think we both knew that there was just too much in the air to define anything at the moment, but as they say, actions speak louder than words. Along with the touching, Edward still came in every morning for coffee and pie and he still left me notes. Now, they were nothing but fluffy sweetness.

_Your laugh is like music to my ears._

_I want to make you smile._

_My heart will miss you today._

_You're pretty._

All of his actions were like little promises that said when the time came, he would still be there and we would figure us out. I really couldn't wait for that time to come.

During the first week in July the first step was taken in that direction. On July 3rd, James was going to be served with divorce papers. I knew it had been coming. I had time to prepare, but when the actual day came I was a fucking wreck. It didn't matter that this was all going down hundreds of miles away. I could imagine the scene as clearly as if it played out right in front of me. I could hear the paper crinkle as his hands shook with anger. I could feel the heat of his rage radiate from his body. I could see the icy glare that screamed 'I'm going to fucking kill her.' He was going to be pissed as hell. And he was going to come after me.

On that day, I went into work and tried to ignore what was going on half-way across the country. Needless to say, it didn't work. I dropped shit, forgot orders, and spilled things. I was so useless Esme finally pulled me into the back room to find out what the hell was my problem. Not wanting to lie, I told her what the significance of the day was. Before I had the chance to apologize, she had pulled me into a hug and gave me the job of scanning the back room for things we needed to reorder. She recognized that I wasn't in any condition to deal with customers but at the same time made me feel useful. I was so grateful.

A couple hours later I was just finishing the last touches of the list of restocks I had created when I felt a presence behind me. I didn't have to look. I knew who it was.

"Bella?" I turned around to see an amazing pair of green eye looking at me with concern. I tried to put my happiest face on.

"Hey. What are you doing here on your day off? Shouldn't you be catching up on your sleep or something?" It was my shot at being casual and it didn't work at all.

"Come here." His open arms were too much to resist and I flung myself into them and started to cry. For what, I had absolutely no idea. I just felt like crying.

"What are you doing here?" I sniffed once I regained my composure.

"Mom called me. Why didn't you tell me what today was?"

"It's not a big deal. That is I didn't think it was until I actually tried to come in and do my job."

"It is a big deal and you should have someone taking care of you today." The last thing I wanted was for Edward to feel like he had to take care of me. It was his day off for fuck's sake and I didn't want him wasting it on me.

"I'm fine, really. And I have to finish my shift."

"No, you don't. Mom called me to come get you. We both know that you should not be here. What do I have to do to convince you?" Once again I was amazed at how these people knew exactly what I needed. Still wrapped in his arms, I shrugged not really knowing what to say. Edward took that as an invitation to respond. "Come on. We're getting out of here."

"What? No. I can't. Esme needs me." I couldn't shirk my responsibilities.

"Yes, you can. And from what she tells me, you weren't exactly a productive member of the team this morning, Bella. She doesn't want any more plates broken." He chuckled but it was hard for me to join in. I had broken some plates today. Seven to be exact. I would have to have Esme take the cost out of my pay.

"Fine. In the interest of saving the dishes, I will leave with you. Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

o~o~O~o~o

Normally I am not a big fan of surprises. In fact, I despise them. But I was soon realizing that Edward's surprises were always good. His raw thoughtfulness always shined through. So when he took me to the Forks County Fair, I should have been surprised, but I wasn't. He brought me here as a distraction. A fun, carefree, perfect distraction.

Throughout the day we took advantage at everything the fair had to offer. We went on all the rides, which did make me a little nervous. I mean, they put them up and take them down so frequently. What do they do when they have left over screws? Good question, huh?

We explored all of the animal exhibits and went to see the year's biggest gourd. Edward showed off his mad dart throwing skills and won me a huge panda to go with the polar bear that Emmett had already gotten me. We watched the demolition derby and the pig races. We watched some of the 4-H competitions and talked to some of the kids afterwards about their animals. We ate cotton candy, fried dough, and all of the other cliché fair foods that make our mouths water and our hips expand.

The fair by day was extremely enjoyable, but Edward insisted that the fair by night was a sight to be seen. Apparently the whole place came alive. I had to agree with him while we were in line for the Ferris wheel.

"This was a great idea. Thank you. It is exactly what I needed." Edward had been holding my hand but gave it a distinct squeeze when I had expressed my revelation.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it. Look, Bella…" His thought was interrupted when the ride attendant took our tickets and secured the safety bar before returning to the line. When he was satisfied that he wasn't going to be interrupted again, he spoke low and confident.

"Bella, why didn't you tell me about what was happening today?" I looked down into my lap. I could hear the hurt in his voice and felt a wave of guilt wash over me. Why hadn't I told him? I tried to think but every reason I had that seemed somewhat valid before just seemed ridiculous now. This was Edward. He had been there for me through everything so far and been nothing but supportive. I shouldn't have kept this from him. He deserved to know.

"I don't know. I guess I just don't know how I feel about it myself. I have so many emotions. Relief that I won't be tied to him anymore. Fear threat he's not going to let me go. Embarrassed of being divorced at twenty-four years old. Regret that I didn't do this sooner. Overjoyed that I am finally going to be able to move on." I reached over and took his hand to show him that for me moving on meant moving on with him. "I just want it all to be over."

Edward scooted closer to me, if that were even possible, and put his arm around me. His other hand was still joined with mine in my lap.

"Don't think that I'm mad. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I guess I just thought we were kind of in this together. I want to be here to help you with the ups and downs." The lump that was stuck in the back of my throat made it impossible to get any words out. I never knew a man could be this wonderful. I looked up into his eyes and tried to convey just how I felt.

You are amazing. How did I get so lucky? Please, keep taking care of me. I need you.

Time stopped as the moment refused to release its hold. At some point the Ferris wheel had stopped with us pretty close to the top, not that either of us noticed. It was only when I swallowed what was left of that lump in my throat that the spell was broken. Edward blinked and moved his eyes from mine down to my lips.

"Bella, I would never, ever push you into anything you weren't ready for, but I really want to kiss you right now. Please…" He drifted off as he pleaded with his eyes. I could feel my heart beat furiously in my chest. There was nothing in this world that I wanted more at that moment than to feel his lips against mine. I sighed quietly and nodded as I bit my lip.

It was all Edward needed. With his one arm still around me, he took his other hand and brought it up to my cheek. "My beautiful Bella. So trusting. So brave." Slowly and hesitantly he brought his face closer to mine. The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was his pink tongue giving his lips a small lick.

And then I felt them. They were warm, plump, and oh so gentle. He started out slow and I moved my lips in time with his. It was perfect. _He_ was perfect. I had never been kissed like this. It was not just a means to an end. It was a grand gesture all in itself. It held feelings of passion, desire, and commitment behind it. He increased his pressure and began moving a little faster. When his tongue asked me to let him in, I did so without hesitation. My heart wanted this. My body wanted him.

_Slow down there, Bella._

That was my mind talking, but my heart and body outvoted it. My hand snaked around his waist so that it rested on his hip. I inched as close as I could get and Edward pulled me in tighter. Our kisses were getting more frantic, more desperate. It made me feel things that I hadn't felt in a long time. There were fireworks.

Literally.

All of a sudden a fireworks display lit up the sky cause us both to break apart quickly. Red, blue, green, white rained down as they exploded loudly in the air. In the glow of their light I could see Edward breathing heavy and touching his lips where mine had been just seconds before. His expression was one of sheer panic and I knew exactly why.

"Don't." I said firmly.

"Oh my God, Bella…I'm sorry…"

"I said don't. It was absolutely perfect and you have_ nothing_ to be sorry for." The relief he felt knowing that he hadn't pushed me too far was evident in his relaxing posture. To assure him a little more I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest. He put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. We snuggled and watched the fireworks for a few more minutes before the Ferris wheel began to move again. Before we reached the bottom, Edward reached down and put a very chaste kiss on my lips.

"Happy Independence Day, Bella."

_Happy indeed._

**So there you have it. The source of all my angst. I hope you liked it. **

**I have a story in the Let the Games Begin Contest called ****Extra Innings****. Major Leagueward and a sauna…that's all I'm saying. To read all the entries go to:**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~letthegamesbegincontest**

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**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2773975/QuickieContest**

**Don't forget to vote!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi everyone! Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm sorry I have been so bad at replying. RL is kicking me all over the place. I was able to write a new chapter so hopefully that makes up for my delinquency. I do want to say that I am in no way knowledgeable about the legal system and I have been lucky enough to never have gone through a divorce. If I get things wrong, I apologize. Thank you for understanding.**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 13**

**Moving Forward**

"_She's beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won."____Henry VI: Part I - Act 5 Scene 2 ~William Shakespeare_

**BPOV**

"So whatcha going to do now, little girl?"

I could feel his hot breath surround me as I struggled against his powerful frame, desperately trying to get free. It was hot and heavy all around me just like his body. He had come up from behind, wrapping his long arms around me, tightening his grasp with every movement I made against him. My breathing picked up. My mind ran around in circles. I could feel myself beginning to panic. There was no way I could ever fight him off.

_Yes you can. Think. You know what to do._

I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths to help me focus. When I opened them again I was calm, collected, and confident. Almost automatically, I sprung into action. My right foot lifted and stamped back down on his as hard as it could. His surprise allowed me to bring my right elbow into his ribs. His grip on me loosened and I took the opportunity to spin around and run the heel of my palm up into his nose. As he reached for it I brought my knee and hit him as hard as I could in the groin. He fell to the ground in complete agony, rolling around in the fetal position. I glared at him, ready to give him a kick to the stomach if needed.

"Damn, Bella. That was just awesome." My adrenaline high had been interrupted by a guy who was clapping his hands in praise of my accomplishment. Seth was Emmett's friend and co-worker. He was also a martial arts expert who taught self-defense. After Emmett heard my story, he insisted that Rosalie, Alice, and I take his class. Emmett had also volunteered to be the attacker. Over the last several weeks, each one of my new friends found a way to help me deal with my situation without actually talking about it. This was Emmett's. It was touching and I felt lucky to have so many people who cared about me.

Of course you would never know that from looking at the full grown man calling for his mommy from the floor.

_Fuck. I killed Emmett._

"Holy shit. You are such a bad ass, Bella. Nice work." Rosalie said as she rushed to his side. Alice stood there with her mouth gaping.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry Emmett. I just got lost in the moment. You said not to take it easy on you, but…shit, I'm sorry." Rosalie had helped Emmett to his feet. He was clutching his nose with one hand and massaging his…uh…junk with the other. I really felt bad.

"Don't you dare apologize. You did exactly what you were supposed to do and let me tell you, I did not go easy on you one bit. Bella my Fella, I think you're going to be just fine." He winced and moved off to the side with Rosalie's help. "'And on that note, I am out of here. My good deed is done for the day." Gingerly, he sat down on a folding chair as Rosalie retrieved a bottle of water for him.

"Aw, come on Emmett. I didn't get a turn." Alice whined.

"No fucking way. I'm done. No more bruises to my body _or_ my ego today. Try out your moves on Jasper. Rosie, I think I need some tender loving care. Please…" Emmett turned the big puppy dog eyes on her.

"Aw, of course, baby. Let's go home and we'll get you all fixed up." She licked her lip seductively and Alice, Seth, and I all cringed in our own way at the thought of Rosalie's probable therapy treatment. After one more lingering look, she turned to the rest of us. "Okay, until next week. Bella, that was really something. I pity anyone who messes with you."

"Thanks Rosalie, for the compliment and letting me beat up your boyfriend."

"Hey, anytime. Oh, and good luck tonight." She waggled her eyebrows at me. "Bye guys." She and Emmett limped away and Seth high-fived me before excusing himself for his next class. All that was left was me and Alice. A wave of anxiety washed over me as I remembered what tonight was.

I had a date.

With Edward.

Our first official date.

Thoughts of this morning came flooding back to me.

_Edward lingered longer than usual at the diner and I looked at the clock fearing that he might be late for the hospital. I wanted to let him know the time. I didn't want him to get in trouble but I could tell he was in the middle of writing a note on a napkin. _

_My note._

_Usually he spent seconds jotting down what was on his mind, but not today. Today he went through many napkins. There was a pile of drafts crumpled up next to his plate. He altered between tugging on his hair, running his hands through it, and pinching the bridge of his nose. Whatever he was writing, he was having a hard time saying it. I could feel myself getting nervous. I mean, what if he had decided that he didn't want to see me any more. We had shared that kiss, that glorious kiss. But he hadn't attempted another one since. And it had been a couple of weeks. Maybe he hadn't thought it was so glorious._

_I busied myself with a few tables but kept looking up to see if Edward was still there. I watched him as he read over the napkin one more time, sigh, and shove the crumpled drafts into his pocket. As soon as he walked out the door, I hurried over not being able to wait another minute. I wanted to know as soon as possible if he didn't want me anymore. Like pulling off a band-aid. I picked up the napkin hoping for the best but bracing myself for the worst._

_**Bella,**_

_**Please forgive me for taking the coward's way out. I have wanted to say these words to you for awhile now but haven't had the guts. Please try to overlook the method and instead, answer with your heart. Will you do me the honor of being my date tonight?**_

_**~Edward**_

_That was not what I was expecting. At all. _

_So relieved that this was not what I thought it was going to be, I rushed out of the diner hoping to catch him before he left. To my surprise, Edward was leaning against his car, keys in his hands. I jogged over to him with his napkin note in my hand. As soon as he saw me, the anxiousness that I had been feeling landed on Edward's face. In an instant I was in front of him._

"_Edward, why didn't you feel you could ask me this in person?"_

"_Truth?"_

"_Always."_

"_If you said no, I wouldn't have been able to hide my disappointment. I didn't want you to feel bad about it if you weren't ready or just didn't want to." He was always putting my feelings first without any regard to his own. I couldn't decide if I was overwhelmingly touched or saddened that he felt the need to do this. I reached out for his hand._

"_My answer is yes. I would love to be your date tonight." His eyes snapped up to mine and the most beautiful smile replaced all that anxiety. _

"_Really?"_

"_Really and truly. Now go to work so that you won't have to be late for our date." He brought my hand up to his lips and put a feathery kiss on my knuckles before telling me that he would pick me up at six this evening. My heart swelled as I watched him get into his car and drive away._

"Bella? Yoohoo, you in there?" All of a sudden Alice's snapping fingers were in front of my face.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Just zoned for a second."

"That wouldn't have anything to do with the date you have with my brother tonight, would it?" I felt my cheeks grow warm as I shrugged and gave a small smile. "I thought so. Let's go get you ready for the ball, Cinderbella." She hooked her arm around my waist and started guiding me towards the door. Her comment confused me.

"I'm sorry, what Alice?"

"I'm going to help you get ready for tonight. Edward has entrusted me with the details of your date. Let's go, we have a lot of work to do."

Now that didn't sound good.

o~o~O~o~o

Two hours later I had been buffed, polished, moisturized, and everything else you could imagine. When it came to beautifying, Alice was no nonsense. I was not normally a girly girl and was kind of scared by Alice's knowledge and application of the many beauty treatments she subjected me to. But I didn't complain because she really seemed like she knew what she was doing and I did want to look good for Edward. The end product was something that I was not expecting.

I almost looked…pretty.

I tried to will the tears away as I looked in the mirror. I did not want to ruin Alice's efforts. She hadn't done anything extreme and yet I looked better than I had in…well forever. My hair held some soft waves that felt so light against my back. She had pinned back the sides with a jewel encrusted barrette that had belonged to my mother. It was one of the few personal things that I had taken from the house in Florida and I was glad that Alice had thought it would be perfect. It made me feel like I was taking a part of my mom with me and I know she would have loved Edward. My makeup was soft and natural. A shimmery peach eye-shadow, mascara, and a coat of lip gloss that made my lips look even fuller than they already were.

Knowing Alice's propensity for fashion, I was a little nervous that she would put me in something out of my comfort level, but she surprised me with a knee-length red and white floral sun dress with a free flowing skirt. Paired with a white eyelet cardigan and a pair of red ballet flats, well it was perfect.

"Do you know where he's taking me?"

"Of course I do. I needed to know in order to help you dress appropriately."

"Can you tell me?"

"No way, Jose. If I told you, Edward would certainly kill me. I prefer life, thank you very much."

Damn. I hated surprises.

o~o~O~o~o

"So, where are we going?" Yes, I was blunt. But have I told you how much I hate surprises? Edward took a long look at the road in front of him before giving me a quick glance with that sexy little smirk he had going on.

"I could, but then I would have to kill you." I just loved playful Edward.

"Edddwarrd…" I complained.

"Fine, fine. I'll tell you." He swallowed and I could tell he was nervous. I couldn't fathom why he would be. He was perfect…always. "PicnicandaPlayatthePark." He said in one breath.

"I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that."

"Picnic and a Play at the Park. Every Wednesday the Forks Drama Club puts on a play in the park. People arrive ahead of time and eat their dinners and then enjoy the play. This month they are doing Shakespeare. With your love of literature, I thought you might enjoy it." He looked nervous, like he wasn't sure I would like the idea but, fuck me, how wonderful could this guy get? I loved Shakespeare. And the fact that he took note of it made me want to jump his fucking bones.

"It sounds perfect." I could hear him exhale in relief a little.

Edward parked the car and then came around to open the door and help me out of the car. Whoever said chivalry was dead obviously hadn't met Edward Cullen. He went to the trunk and pulled out a blanket and a large picnic basket. I went to grab the blanket in order to help but he stopped me before I could take it. I wasn't sure what to do so I just stood there as I watched him place the basket on the ground with the blanket on top. Then he shut his trunk lid and took the few steps that closed the distance between us. He took my hand before he spoke.

"Before we go in I just wanted to tell you how breathtaking you look tonight. You always look beautiful, but tonight…wow. I told myself that I wouldn't kiss you again until we had our first official date, but I don't think I'm going to be able to wait that long." So that's why he hadn't kissed me since the Ferris wheel. That situation needed to be rectified… now.

"Then don't. Kiss me, Edward. I want you to, really." I barely got out the words before his lips were on mine. I leaned back against the car and brought my arms up around his neck. He grabbed me by the hips and pulled me closer to him. In an instant, all was right with the world.

_Fireworks._

That's how his kisses felt. There were loud and intense at first. They shocked you with their immediate power and then mesmerized you with the passion that lingered in the air. Once you felt it coming to an end, the anticipation of the next one surged through your body. Just like fireworks. All too soon, it was over.

Edward pulled away slightly and pressed his forehead against mine. I could feel and hear his heavy breathing. It satisfied me that I had the same affect on him.

"I want to do that whenever I feel the urge."

"I want you to."

"Okay then. Now that that's settled, let's go find a place to picnic." Too quickly his body was not pressed against mine and he was picking up the basket and blanket in one hand. He outstretched his other towards me which I quickly took and we made our way to the outdoor theater in the park and found ourselves a place to have our picnic.

The spot we found was pretty close to the stage. There were a few other couples but not a huge crowd as of yet. Edward took the blanket and spread it out over the ground. He motioned for me to get comfortable and I did as much as I could in a dress. As long as I wasn't flashing anyone the goodies, I was okay. Edward started taking out various Tupperware containers filled with food that was absolutely delicious. To my surprise, Edward had made all of it by himself. Chicken salad sandwiches, stuffed mushrooms, cheese and crackers, dark chocolate mousse for desert, and a bottle of white wine. It was by far the most effort anyone had ever put in to impress me.

"This is absolutely wonderful, Edward. All of it." I took a sip of wine to wash down my last bite of mousse. The lawn had filled up considerably as the play was going to start soon. Edward had started putting the remnants of dinner back in the basket but left out the bottle of wine and our glasses.

"I'm so glad…and relieved. I thought you might enjoy this but I just wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to…woo you." His vulnerability was so endearing. It made me feel cared for and treasured, something that I wasn't used to. I scooted closer to him as lady like as I could and got on my knees so that we were face to face, nose to nose.

"Considered me thoroughly wooed." And then I kissed him. Hard. It had been the first time I had initiated it and I didn't want him to mistake my intentions. I wanted him to know that I appreciated all that he had done for me, that I was touched by his efforts to achieve the perfect date, and that I wanted him in mind, body, and soul. I put all that I had been feeling into that kiss and when we finally broke apart, we were both breathless.

Throughout the play, I curled into the crook of his arm as it protectively wrapped around me. Instead of one play, the drama company compiled several of the most romantic scenes written by Shakespeare and performed them as a collection. The words and emotions of the actors put a dreamy and hypnotic spell on the audience. Edward and I were no exceptions. After two hours of constant caressing, nuzzling, whispering words of tenderness I felt like a puddle of goo. But it was more than that.

_I felt like I was in love._

_I was in love with Edward Cullen._

As the thought struck me I felt frightened. I had thought I was in love once before and we all know how that had turned out. I had to rationalize and remind myself that I wasn't young and naïve anymore, that I had learned a lot since then, and that Edward was not James. Not by a fucking long shot.

Once I had thought it through, I felt much better about my revelation. I decided to keep it to myself at least for now. First I didn't know if Edward felt the same way. Yes, he was attentive, caring, and seemed like he had intense feelings for me, but I couldn't guarantee that those feelings were indeed love. I just wasn't ready to put myself out there like that if there was a chance of rejection, not yet anyway. Also, before I could declare my love for Edward and he for me, I hope, I needed to be completely free. I did not want to tell him I loved for the first time while I was still married. It would be tainted with the past that was still looming over me and that wouldn't be fair to Edward.

Lucky for me, that situation was about to get one step closer to being rectified.

When the play was over, Edward brought me home. It was kind of an early night but we both had to get up early for work the next morning. After and intense make out session in the car, Edward walked me up to my door. I leaned up against the door and took his hand in mine. I was about to tell him just how much I loved our date but was interrupted by the oddest feeling of falling.

"Bella, is that…ugh…I got you. Sorry about that."

Charlie had opened the door from the inside that I had been leaning on. Thankfully, he caught me before my ass landed on the floor.

"Don't worry about it. I'm glad you caught me." I said once I was firmly upright.

"Hi, Edward. Did you guys have a good time?"

"We did. At least I think we did." Edward gave me a questioning look and I responded with an emphatic head nod.

"Well, I hope you don't think I was checking up on you. It's just, I have some news and I wanted to tell you about as soon as you got home." Charlie looked nervous which made me nervous.

"Okay. What is it?"

"I got a call from Sam. Your divorce hearing date has been set. We need to go to Chicago in a few weeks."

I felt my face leak all of the color it held. To finally be free of that asshole is the thing I wanted most in the world, but…fuck. Return to Chicago? The thought made me want to vomit.

**Thank you for reading and as always, I love to hear your thoughts.**

**I have volunteered to write something for the Fandom Fights the Tsunami Auction. If there is anything in particular that you would like to read in regards to this or any of my other stories, please let me know. Thanks!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry to all of you who couldn't access Chapter 13 while FF was getting its shit together. **

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 14**

**Find Your Fierceness**

"_If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of troubles."_

_~Elbert Hubbard_

**BPOV**

"Chicago?" My voice sounded foreign to me as I said the name of the last place I ever wanted to go.

_So soon?_

_I'll have to see him_

_I'm not ready._

_I can't do this._

_Fucking buck up, Bella. _

_You have to do this._

_You can do this._

The panic attack I felt trying to claw its way out of me began to subside as a new resolve replaced it. Yes, Chicago was going to suck in more ways than one. Yes, I would have to come face to face with James. Yes, it would probably be one of the hardest things I would ever have to do.

But what I would get out of it was entirely hands down worth it. When things got bad, and believe me, Chicago was going to be bad, I had a pair of the most amazing, compassionate, and loving green eyes to remind me of just how much I had to gain. Holding on to that was going to get me through this. I looked to Edward and then to Charlie who both looked like ready to jump in and save me with a paper bag at any moment.

The biggest surprise to all of us was that I didn't need saving. I was handling it.

_Score one for Bella._

"Okay then. I'll be ready." The two of them looked stunned as they gave each other a glance.

"We'll be ready." Charlie said as he gave me a small hug. He pulled away and gave each of us one more look. "I guess I'll excuse myself and let you give your date a proper good-bye. Have a good night, Edward."

"You too, Chief." Edward said as Charlie retreated into the house. Once he was out of sight he turned and wrapped his arms around me. "You are so strong and I am so very proud of you."

"Don't praise me yet. I haven't gone anywhere yet."

"Hey, don't you dare sell yourself short. I could see you were on the verge of an attack, but you controlled it yourself. You didn't need me or your dad. Don't you see what kind of progress you have made in such a short time?"

"I do, but talking about Chicago and actually going there are two totally different things. I'm just glad Charlie is going with me."

"I'm going with you too." My mouth dropped open as I realized exactly what he was saying. As much as that sounded wonderful, I knew he would practically have to sell his soul to the hospital devil to get that kind of time off.

"Edward, no. You are so close to finishing your residency. I'm not about to complicate that."

"But I can…" I put my finger up to his lips before he could say anymore. I didn't want him the chance to convince me that he should come with me to Chicago because I would probably cave in a heartbeat. This is the least I could do for him.

"I know you can and I know you would, but no. I will only be gone a few days. I will have Charlie and Sam with me. I just need to go do this and come back home to Forks." His eyes softened a little.

"You called Forks home."

"Of course I did. It is my home now."

"I just thought that maybe when all this was over you would want to stay in Chicago." His eyes moved to the floor and I got a rare glimpse of vulnerable Edward. At that moment it was hard to believe this childlike man in front of me was the same one that had been my rock, my source of strength for the last several weeks.

"There is nothing for me in Chicago. Never has been really. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else but here, with the people I lo…care about." With the smile that formed on Edward's face you would have thought I gave him a million dollars. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me hard and passionate. Once he was satisfied that I had been thoroughly kissed, he pulled away his lips from mine and placed a tender kiss on my forehead.

"You say the word and I'm there." He whispered as he held me. I wasn't planning on saying the word, but the fact that he would drop everything and come with me made my heart swell.

"I know."

o~o~O~o~o

The next couple of weeks were spent with working at the diner, self-defense classes, running, meeting with Sam, and Edward. Other than when I was with Sam going over what was to be expected at the hearing and what our strategy would be, I tried not to think about Chicago. There was no point in worrying about it and I really didn't want to give James one more second of my life. He already had wasted too much of my time. I did, however, focus on him intently as Sam and I prepared for my day in court. Sam made it clear that he didn't want any surprises when we went in front of the judge so I spilled ever single detail about my life with that asshole that I could remember. There were a lot of tears and I hated every bit of it, but I knew deep in my heart that I was doing what needed to be done in order to get away from him.

Edward and I had fallen into a comfortable rhythm. His free time was sparse but what little he had we either spent it with the gang or with each other. A few days after our first date, Edward had invited me to dinner at his apartment. I was nervous as I knocked on the door, knowing what a big step this was for both of us. But as soon as he answered the door barefoot in a pair of loose fitting jeans and snug fitting t-shirt, I instantly felt relaxed. Completely turned on, but relaxed nonetheless.

He made me a dinner of grilled chicken and vegetables, rice pilaf, and chocolate cake for dessert. It was simple and delicious. We spent the rest of the night snuggled on his couch while we watched a movie. We talked and laughed and just enjoyed each other's company. There was never a lack of proximity or touching. It was nice. So nice we tended to repeat that night often.

Now, less than a week before I was scheduled to leave, we were sitting on his couch cuddled up to one another. The closer Chicago got, so did my need to get physically closer to Edward. When I plopped myself on his lap, wrapped my arms around his neck, and buried my face into his neck, Edward finally caught on that something was off.

"Hey Blossom, not that I'm complaining because I love having you this close, but what's going on? What's wrong?" I smiled into his neck at his use of his newly adopted nickname. Soon after our first date he started calling me Blossom every once in awhile. I finally asked him about it and he said that that was what I was. I was flower on the verge of being ready to bloom. I rolled my eyes at his cheesiness which led to a confession of a more practical reason for choosing it. He felt the urge to use some term of endearment when it came to me and was afraid he would use the one that I had made very clear was off limits. Blossom was different, had no negative memories attached to it, and it was his and his alone.

How could I argue with that?

So Blossom it was and the more he used it, the more I liked it. It made me feel special and I belonged to him which is what I wanted more than anything in the world.

But I couldn't belong to him. Not yet. Not when I was still legally married to another man regardless if that marriage was over in every other single way except on paper. I sighed knowing that this and my upcoming trip were weighing down on me like a tone of bricks.

"Three days." It was all I had to say. He stiffened a little and then tightened his hold on me just a little.

"I know."

"I don't want to go."

"I know that too."

"But I have to."

"Yes, Blossom, you do. It's the only way to fully close that chapter of your life."

"I know and believe me, I'm ready to slam the fucking book and burn it." He chuckled at my outspoken choice of words. "I can do it."

"I know you can. You're so fucking strong. Six days. Six days and you'll be back. You'll be able to do anything you want." Sitting on his lap and looking at the sincerity in his eyes made a surge of emotion bubble up inside me. This time it wasn't in the form of tears or overwhelming happiness. No, this was a different type of emotion. One that I often felt while I was in the company of Dr. Edward Cullen.

"Anything?" I whispered seductively in his ear while I traced lazy circles around one of the buttons on his shirt. I guess I wasn't that great in the whole art of seduction because he had no clue what I was getting at. I nuzzled my face into the crook of his next and let my warm breath float across his skin.

"Of course anything. You'll be free to pursue your heart's desire." Oh my God, Mr. Oblivious McUnobservant was not making this easy on me. Bold was not my forte but for the first time in a long time I knew exactly what I wanted and for once I wanted to be one to take the lead. Edward had seen my damsel in distress side more times than I could count. I wanted him to see my confident and sexy side if I could muster her up. I had to step it up a bit.

"My heart's desire, hmm? Edward?"

"Yes, Blossom?"

"I'd think I'd like to get a head start on my…um…desires…right now. Can you guess what they are? My _desires _that is…" I placed soft open kisses on his neck and wove my hand into his hair. Then, with the slightest bit of movement I shifted with a little grinding motion.

I wish I could have been in his head when he put two and two together and everything went click.

His hands grasped tightly at my waist. His face pulled away from me and his expression went from one of confusion to surprise to pure unadulterated lust. His eyes went from a mossy green to a darker shade of forest green. He knew what I wanted. He wanted it too and it took seconds before he had me off his lap and pinned under him on the couch. He held my wrists above my head in one hand and the other roamed up and down the side of my body grazing me in all the right places. My body was alive and on fire and I didn't want him to stop…ever. Using my knee I began to rub his erection that was bulging in his pants. I could feel his breathing getting heavier as he returned the favor by moving his hand underneath my shirt and palming my breast through my bra. I groaned a little as I moved in to return his kisses with equal fever not wanting him to think, because if he did, he would…

"Bella?" And there it is. The thinking.

"Hmmm?" I murmured as I kissed and licked his jaw, trying to distract him from his train of thought.

_Don't stop. Don't stop. Please…don't stop._

"I think we should stop."

_What? No…_

"But why? Edward, I want this. And I think you want this too. You want this, right?" All of a sudden confident, sexy Bella was gone. In her place was insecure, inadequate Isabella. She was wondering how this gorgeous, amazing man could ever want someone as plain and insignificant as her. I didn't want to cry, but traitorous tears filled my eyes. The shift in my demeanor was sudden, but Edward must have recognized it right away. In an instant he was off of me and I was in his arms.

"Of course I do. Don't ever, ever think that I don't want you because I do. So much ti hurts." He adjusted himself a little to show me exactly where his pain was coming from. "There is nothing, and I mean nothing in this world I want more than to take our physical relationship to the next level. But I can't help but think that this has everything to do with Chicago. And if that is the reason, that is not the reason to become intimate. Also, when I finally make love to you, it won't be on the uncomfortable couch in my living room and you certainly won't be fucking married. When I finally…take you and make you mine…you will be free to give yourself to me in every way, physically, mentally, and l_egally_. There will not be any doubt and there will be no regrets. We are doing this right because as far as I am concerned, we're in this together. Today, tomorrow, next week, next year. I plan on being here. With you and for you."

Again, how can I argue with that?

I knew what I wanted, but I also respected Edward to understand what he wanted too. If I had guilted him into having sex with me while I was still married, there would be regrets. And as much as my burning body would have denied it, my heart and my head also wanted to wait until there was absolutely nothing in our way.

"You're right. I know you are, but ugghhh. It's not fair. I want you so bad." I fell back into the couch with a petulant huff. Yeah, I was acting like a child, but fuck I was horny. "Now I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands." Edward flopped back and covered his face with his hands.

"You cannot say things like that to me, Blossom. My resolve is not _that_ strong. In fact it's hanging by a thread." He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to calm himself down. I have to admit, it kind of made me feel better knowing that I wasn't the only horn dog in the room. We needed to leave before our pent up sexual energy blew the place up.

"I think we both need to get out of here. Wanna go get some ice cream at the diner? Cool off a bit?"

"That sounds like a great idea, Blossom." He stood up, reached down to grab my hand in order to help me up, and then adjusted himself without any discretion. "We should walk. It will give me some…time…before I have to face my mother." Automatically without my permission my eyes went to the man's crotch and I couldn't help but feel my face heat up. Edward definitely had a situation and I no way in hell wanted his mother to think that I…that we…fuck I don't know.

_Yeah, walking is a great idea._

"Sounds good, Romeo. Let's go." I shrugged off the last of the awkwardness I was feeling from the groin stare and reached my hand out to him. He took it eagerly and we walked hand in hand from his apartment to the diner. Edward had the situation completely in check by the time we got there.

o~o~O~o~o

When you want time to slow down, it never does. In fact, it begins to move faster than then speed of light. The next three days went by in a flash and before I realized it I was sitting next to Charlie on a plane bound of O'Hare International Airport.

I hugged my lion to my chest remembering the day before when my friends had surprised me with a good luck dinner. Each one of them had given me something to help make this trip a little easier. Emmett had given me a small stuffed lion to remind me 'how fucking brave' I was. I chucked as I thought about the life sized polar bear he had already given me after the day he almost hit me with his car. He was like a huge teddy bear himself so it was appropriate that stuffed animals were his thing. The thought and meaning behind the lion was touching.

Jasper had loaned me a small St. Christopher medal that he received on the day of his first communion. Since then he hadn't been devout but had always kept the medal as a special reminder of his youth. I welled up as he explained that St. Christopher was the patron saint of strength and that he wanted me to have it on my trip as a way of reminding me of just how strong I was. I promised that I would take good care of it.

Earlier in the day Alice and Rose had kidnapped me for a trip to the spa and shopping with the intention of helping me 'find my fierceness.' Their words, not mine. They wanted to help me show James that I was no one he could mess with, not anymore. Made sense, but I was skeptical. Surprisingly, a facial, massage, waxing, manipedi, and a haircut later, I actually felt fierce. Add a trendy, professional outfit that highlighted my now tone and fit running body and my confidence was at an all time high. For the first time ever I looked in the mirror and felt like I could compete with some of the lawyer wives in James' circle. I could compete…with him. I was not the scared, meek, submissive little girl he turned me into anymore. I was strong and independent. Damn it, I _was _fucking fierce.

Edward had given me his gift when were alone that night. After dinner he took me back to his apartment where he surprised me with an Esme apple pie. We sat and ate it right out of the tin with two forks, feeding each other, laughing, and just enjoying our last bit of time together. Once we got our fill, he led me to his balcony that was basking in the moon light. It was a warm evening with a soft breeze but I couldn't help the chills that went up my spine. They were in no way temperature related.

"Are you cold?" He asked as he ran his hands up and down my bare arms.

"No. I'm perfect." It was so true. In that moment, I was perfect.

"You know, I couldn't let you leave tomorrow without having something of mine to remember me by."

"I highly doubt I could forget you, Edward." There was a little bit of a joking tone in my voice but the teasing didn't escalate any father. My trip without him was a little bit of a sore point with Edward.

As much as Edward tried to get me to let him come, I wouldn't let him. He has less than a month until his residency was done and he would be a full fledge doctor. He tried to say that missing a few days wouldn't matter, but I knew it would and I wasn't about to let him take on double shifts and piss off his superior for something that was sure to be an epic shit storm from beginning to end.

At least that was what I told him.

The truth was that I had a bigger reason for not wanting Edward to go. I did not want James to know that Edward existed. Partly because my life was none of his fucking business anymore. However, more importantly, the thought of James finding out that I was seeing someone scared me to fucking death because I knew what James was capable of. He could be dangerous if he wanted to be and I wasn't taking a chance. Not one. I didn't want Edward anywhere near James and his toxic behavior.

He wasn't happy about it, but Edward had relented only after I promised that I would call and text him multiple times. It was easy for me to agree to that because I needed his support. If I couldn't have him with me, I at least needed to hear his voice. Sometimes I felt pathetic for needing him so much, but this was a special situation. I would work on my co-dependence issue after it was all over with.

"Maybe not, but I still wanted you to have something."

"Edward, what did you do?"

"Nothing much." From somewhere unknown he pulled a silver chain that sparkled in the moonlight. On it held a small pendent in the shape of a flower. The center was a small diamond and the leaves were made up of sapphires. It was delicate and oh so pretty. "When you wear this I wanted you to remember that you are my Blossom." I gasped at his beautiful gift and thoughtful words.

"Edward, I-I don't know what to say." He reached around me to put it on and I lifted my hair so that he could clasp it behind my neck. I was truly almost speechless. He had put a lot of thought into not only what I would like, but the meaning behind it as well.

"Just tell me that you'll let me know what's going on in Chicago. I need to know you are okay."

"I will, I promise. Thank you, Edward. I love it." I brought my hand up to my new bauble before reaching up into Edward's hair and bringing him down for a kiss. I made a promise in my mind that I would do everything possible to keep Edward from worrying about me. It was the least I could do.

Remembering that promise, I sent a quick text to Edward telling him that we would be taking off soon. Keeping him in the loop would do a lot to ease his mind. A few hours later we were landing in the city that I lived in for a couple of years but never called home. I gave my lion one more squeeze before putting it in my carryon in preparation to leave the plane. Charlie stood up and grabbed his bag from the overhead compartment. As we waited for the line of people to move, Charlie looked to me.

"You ready for this, kiddo?"

"As ready as I'm going to be."

"That's my girl." I was so glad he was here with me.

The line started to move and I mentally prepared for what was about to come.

**Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Holy crap, I owe you guys a huge apology. I never thought this chapter would be so difficult to write, but it literally kicked my ass. I just wanted to get it right and it took multiple tries. There are parts I'm still not happy with. I also wanted it to be accurate in the legal sense, but even after all my research I still didn't understand a great deal of it. So, I know a lot of it is not how this would go down, but for the sake of the story I would really grateful if you would just go with it. It's Bella's day in court. I hope I did it justice!**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 15**

**Judgment Day**

_"I think God's justice is making wrongs right."_

_Joel Osteen_

**BPOV**

Holding on to my necklace, I gently rubbed my thumb over the delicate flower. I did it slowly and methodically, matching every breath I took with each stroke. Even hundreds of miles a way Edward was calming me and giving me comfort. He wasn't here in front of me, but I felt his presence in my mind, my body, and especially my heart. I took a deep breath knowing that that thought alone would get me through whatever would happen this day.

I had felt good before we left the hotel. A burst of confidence had surged through me as I took in my appearance. Having gained a little weight and muscle, I looked healthier than I had in years. My hair felt light down my back now that the dead ends weren't weighing it down making it look and feel luxurious. My new Alice approved outfit screamed 'hell yeah' and made me feel smart, strong, and as Emmett would say, bad ass. I walked out of that hotel with my head held high ready for whatever was to come.

That was at 9:00am.

It was now 9:35am and Sam, Charlie, and I were sitting in the almost empty courtroom. We wanted to make a good impression by showing up early. Too bad no one was fucking here to witness it. The hearing was set to start at ten o'clock. The fact that we were the only ones who felt the need to show up early didn't do anything for my psyche. The outcome of today would permanently impact my life and yet it seemed like no one could be bothered to care.

_It's not time yet. Be rational, Bella._

Rational. It was getting harder and harder to stay in that frame of mind as I watched the clock incessantly, time ticking away like grains in an hourglass. I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible and yet at the same time push it off forever. My confidence was fading fast and all this time to do nothing but think was not working to my advantage. I finally decided that the only way I was to calm down was to hear Edward's voice. I excused myself and told Sam I would be back in a few minutes before leaving the courtroom and finding a quite corner out of the way.

"Bella, I was just thinking about you. How are you holding up?" Just the sound of his voice made me relax some. I took hold of my necklace and rubbed it with my thumb.

"We haven't started yet but it won't be too much longer."

"Have you seen him yet?" I knew exactly who he meant and I gave a quick glance to either side of me making sure he wasn't nearby.

"No, not yet. I have no idea what I'll will say when I finally have to face him. I'm so nervous." The pitch of my voice began to rise along with my panic level. Even through the phone Edward could sense it.

"Hey, hey, listen to me, Blossom. It's going to be okay. You don't have to say a word to him. That's what Sam is for. And if he tries to start something, you remember that he can't do anything to you. You have friends and family who will not let that happen. He won't hurt you ever again."

"Oh, I don't know Edward. What if the judge doesn't believe me? I'm so scared he's going to make me wait the two years or worse, try to work it out with him." I had wanted this whole thing to be over and protested when Sam wanted to file on the grounds of physical and emotional abuse knowing that James would fight it tooth and nail. However, the law in Illinois requires a two year separation period before granting a divorce except under extreme circumstances. There was no way I was waiting two fucking years so I had no choice, this was my extreme circumstance. I could only hope that the judge would believe me and set me free. "I won't go back…I can't…"

"You are_ not_ going back. I won't let that happen." Edward's words brought some reassurance but I couldn't bring myself to say what was really in the back of my mind, that he really had no say in it…at all. I was at the mercy of the judge. I sighed not knowing exactly what to make of that.

"You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you."

"For what? I haven't done anything." There was a small pause before he muttered quietly. "Not a fucking thing."

"Edward, don't do that. Your support is the reason I had the courage to go through with this. And maybe you can't physically be here, but that is neither your fault nor is it your responsibility. I have to do this. Just being able to hear your voice and knowing that I'll be coming home to you is more than enough." I had appeased him a little bit, but I could still tell he felt guilty.

"Listen, I need to go. We're going to be starting soon. Can I call you later?" I could hear a breath tinged with sadness let go on the other end of the line.

"Of course, I want you to call. Please, let me know how it turns out." I could sense the helplessness in his voice and I immediately felt bad for making him feel that way.

I ended the call and slipped the phone into my purse before heading back to the courtroom. When I got there, my eyes immediately flew to the unexpected scene playing out in the front of the room. Charlie had James in some sort of stand off with Sam in the middle. He was calmly trying to get Charlie to take his seat but I could tell he wasn't making any progress. As much as I wanted to run the other way, I couldn't let this get ugly and quickly went to help diffuse the situation. It wouldn't do anyone any good if Charlie got thrown out of the court room. As I reached the three of them, I could feel the waves of anger rolling off Charlie. His face was a deep crimson and it looked as if he had stopped breathing. I had no idea what had already been said and the thought scared me a little.

"Wh-what's going on?" I said as I reached Charlie's side and put my hand on his arm without looking at James. I could feel him relax a little, but not much.

"You want to tell me who this is, Isabella?" Hearing him say my name made my insides cringe along with just the very sight of him once my eyes finally gave in and looked. His appearance was basically them same except for the fact that he looked more scruffy around the edges. Strands of his ponytail were loose and rested along his jaw where there was an evident lack of shaving. His suit probably cost a fortune but looked like it had been balled up in a corner for some time before he put it on. There were all these marginal differences, but there was one thing that was completely the very same…his eyes. That cold, sadistic, piercing glare was still there and it made me shiver a little.

_Old habits die hard I guess._

James was angry and when his eyes moved down to where my hand rested on Charlie, he too looked like he was going to explode. Charlie stepped forward to get into his space, taking me along with him. James was taller than Charlie, but he had absolutely nothing on him, for at that moment Charlie looked downright lethal.

"I'm her father, you sick son of a bitch. You think beating up women makes you a man? Go ahead, show how tough you really are and take a swing at me. But make no mistake, _boy._ I _will_ hit you back. That's a fucking promise." In the short time I had known Charlie I had come learn that he was the calmest person going. He didn't show a lot of emotion and never, ever got rattled. Cursing Charlie was something new…and scary.

_This is going to be interesting._

James seemed a bit taken back by Charlie's threat and took a step backwards. I just ignored him as Sam and I tried to coax Charlie back to his seat. "Come on, _Dad_." I put some emphasis on the last word. Up to this point I hadn't called Charlie dad, but I didn't think he would mind at all. James gasped at my confirmation of Charlie's claim.

"That's not possible. Your parents are dead. You seem to forget I was _there_, Isabella." Anger flared inside of me. He didn't need to remind me of just how _there_ he had been during that time. He had no right, no fucking right at all, to even think about them. I straightened my shoulders, narrowed my eyes, and gave it right back to him.

"There's a lot about me you don't know, James." I turned my back to him and looked Charlie in the eyes. "Come on. He's not worth it. Let's go sit down." Without another glance I led Charlie back to his seat before taking my place next to Sam who had already sat down. I could feel James' glare at my back they entire time.

"Are you okay?" Sam leaned over and whispered.

"I'm fine. Nothing I can't handle." Okay, so I lied, but there was nothing anyone could do about it. Out of the corner of my eye I could see James finally shuffling papers at his own table. I deduced that he must have decided to represent himself. He sat alone at his table and looked to be going over some notes. A couple of minutes later, the bailiff announced the presence of Judge George O'Donnell. I took a deep breath myself as Sam patted my knee with reassurance.

"Here we go." He said as things were called to order and the judge was ready.

"Mr. Bennett, I know you are aware of the protocol of what happens during these hearings, but I'm sure you're not as familiar, Mrs. Bennett. I have received both of your prehearing packets and have reviewed them, but in order to come up with a decision that is fair to both of you I feel the need to hear your stories. This is a little more informal than a trial as we will be able to take and answer questions as they come up. However, I do expect these proceedings to be handled with civility and a respect for the legal system and each other. If I think things are getting out of hand, I will shut them down. Am I clear?"

Both James and I answered with a 'Yes, your Honor' and soon we were underway. As the spouse filing for divorce, I was the first to tell my side of things. Once again, I recounted the details from the time James swept me off my feet to my escape after my parents had died. In order to keep my emotions in check, I tried not to look at anyone but Judge O'Donnell. He asked me a few questions along the way, but nothing I wasn't able to answer with relative ease. James tried to protest a couple of times at the things I was saying, but he was reminded that he was going to be able to have his turn and that at this point, he could only ask questions pertaining to specific parts of my testimony. I could hear him fidget from time to time and I knew he was just chomping at the bit to rip me apart.

_And rip me apart he did._

If James had been aggravated by anything I had said, you wouldn't have been able to tell. Once the eyes of the courtroom were on him, his entire demeanor changed and he seemed to be completely unaffected. To say he was a fantastic lawyer was an understatement. He had charm, charisma, and he knew how to captivate a room. He was absolutely brilliant and as he worked the judge over trying to plead his case, my heart began to sink in my chest.

I had given Sam my whole horrid story and he had gotten as much proof as he possibly could to back up my claims. I had even let Sam take pictures of all my scars and document all the stories behind them. When the judge had point blank asked James if he was responsible for the marks on my body, he adamantly denied it and also went on to say that they shouldn't even be considered because there was no documentation behind them. He even had the nerve to accuse me of hurting myself on purpose just so I could validate these lies I had created to use against him. As ridiculous as it seemed to me, the judge didn't seem as appalled as I would have liked him to be. I silently cursed myself for not going to the hospital more often.

The judge took in all the information but never let on what he thought about it. He asked questions and seemed to ponder things that were said, but the guy never led on as to what he was thinking. By noon, I had no idea where I stood and felt completely exhausted and frazzled. I was extremely grateful when recess was called for lunch.

As soon as the judge had closed his chamber door, James stormed out of the courtroom. He didn't even look at me and for that I was grateful. I was not up for another confrontation. Sam, Charlie, and I opted to walk to a McDonalds for a quick bite before returning to the courthouse. We had an hour but I wanted to make sure we got back in time. Once we were back in the courtroom and settled I noticed there was still about twenty minutes and decided to freshen up in the restroom before we began.

I opened the door that led out of the courtroom and walked with my head down intent on making it to the restroom quickly. I didn't make it five steps when my shoulder clipped someone hard. That was going to hurt later.

"Hey, watch it..." I froze as I heard the voice and involuntarily looked up to confirm it. As soon as his eyes locked with mine, his irritation of being walked into was replaced with a sinister smile. "Well, well, well. If it isn't my_ wife_. I never got a chance to tell you just exactly how much I missed you…babe." A chill ran up my spine as his last word slithered out from between his lips. I needed to get out of there. This wasn't the plan. I wasn't supposed to face him alone.

I tried to continue on my path to the restroom but a large hand roughly grabbed my arm. "Now where exactly do you think you're going? You have a lot of explaining to do." All of a sudden that scared little girl from a few months ago consumed me and I was powerless to fight her. He pulled me to a corner of the hallway that was kind of out of the way and I just let him. He gripped my arm tighter until it began to hurt.

"James…please." I was right back to where I was when I was with him: begging him to let me go.

"Please _what,_ Isabella? You disappear without a trace for months only to have me served with divorce papers for physical and emotional cruelty at my office. And now you show up with a lawyer and a father I never knew anything about so that you can tell all these lies and embarrass me. Who the fuck do you think you are?" I could feel myself shrinking under his words. I had worked so hard the last few months to destroy the emotional hold James had over me. In less than five minutes in his presence, all the progress I had made was gone. I fought the tears but they refused to be held in. I hated myself for letting him get to me this way.

"I-I…" I wanted to scream for him to let go of me and to get the fuck away, but the words just wouldn't come out.

I needed to get away from him before I succumbed and was completely reduced to nothing. Instinctually I brought my hand up to my necklace and gripped it for the support I desperately needed.

_Edward would never, ever treat me this way. I don't deserve this._

As if Edward's energy was really in that pendant encouraging me to be strong, I felt a new burst of confidence fill me from the inside out. Suddenly I was angry…at a lot of things. First, I was completely pissed off at myself. How could I let James get to me this way? Giving in to him would not only betray Edward and his faith in me, it would make everything I had done to get to this point absolutely worthless.

Secondly, I was furious with James.

_Who the fuck did I think I was? Someone who doesn't need to put up with his shit, that's who._

I was done letting him affect me. This man meant nothing to me anymore and I was not going to let him think otherwise.

"You don't own me." I said more to myself than to him.

"What was that? You have something to say, you little bitch?"

"I _said_ you don't own me." This time I had lifted my head, looked directly into his menacing eyes, and spoke to him more vehemently. He did not like that one bit.

"The hell I don't. You are mine, Isabella. Don't you ever fucking forget it." He squeezed my arm harder to make his point. It hurt but I was not going to let him the satisfaction of seeing me in pain. I leaned my head into him and spoke in a low, calm, but forceful voice.

"That is for the judge to decide and if you don't get your fucking hands off me in the next ten seconds, I. Will. Scream." James looked around to the handful of people scattered in the lobby and felt it was probably wise not to test me. He slowly let go of my arm but then grabbed my chin with his hand to force me to look at him.

"You're lucky…for now. But in there it's my word against yours and I have spent the last two years building up a reputation in this town. Around here, I'm looked upon as a pretty nice guy who has worked hard to get where he is. You, on the other hand, are the callous bitch who abandoned said nice guy. You can tell all the sob stories you want, but Judge O'Donnell won't believe you. I will win, Isabella. And when I do, believe me when I say you'll be paying for this for a long time." He gave my head a slight shove as he let go of my chin before storming the other way into the court room. I willed myself to dismiss everything he had said to me. I couldn't even begin to think that what he said was true. I wanted to break down and cry but I refused. He was not getting any more of my tears. Ever.

I finally made it to the bathroom and got myself together and sent Edward a text before heading back into the courtroom. I just told him that things were about to going okay and left my little encounter with James out of it. It was just words that would get him upset and not really important at this point.

Once I was composed, I made my way back to the courtroom to see that James was at his table acting like nothing happened. I refused to make eye contact as I sat down next to Sam. He looked at me with concern and I knew he could tell something was up. I shook my head a little which only got me a 'what the hell happened' look. Luckily, I didn't have to get into it because the judge entered the room effectively ending our silent conversation. He had a slight scowl on his face and did not look to be in a good mood at all. My nerves increased as he loudly flipped through the legal size yellow notepad that he had walked into the room with. Every once in awhile he would huff or sigh causing me to wonder what the hell had happened between when we stopped this morning and now. I gave Sam a glance and he replied with a slight shrug. He didn't know what the problem was either.

"I have reviewed what was discussed this morning and I have a few questions before I make my final decision."

A few questions were a fucking understatement.

The man began to fire off questions one right after another like rapid fire. Most of them were for me and I tried to answer them as quick and direct as possible. They had no rhyme or reason to them and I had a difficult time keeping up with all of his subject changes and unusual inquiries.

_Why did you not enroll in school and finish your degree in Chicago?_

_How much did you get paid for working at the library?_

_Did you have a valid driver's license in Chicago?_

_Why did you sign a power of attorney giving Mr. Bennett control over your parents' estate?_

He also asked James a bunch of questions that were just as random as mine. James had no problem letting the answers roll off his tongue. Some of them were exaggerations of the truth, some were down right lies, but he answered them with such confidence a stranger would feel compelled to believe him. He just had that way about him when it came to public speaking. I was sure he made a better impression than I did with my stumbling and bumbling.

"Mr. Bennett, I'm surprised to see that you and Mrs. Bennett did not have a joint checking account or credit card. There is no record of Mrs. Bennett having her own account, so I'm curious, what did she do if she needed money?" For once, James was a little caught off guard by the question, but managed to answer it in a timely fashion.

"When we got married we both decided that I would take care of the finances. Anytime Isabella needed money, all she had to do was ask. She also had her paycheck from the library to do with what she wanted. She tended to be a spender and not a saver so I'm not surprise she didn't have anything to deposit." That fucker was lying and I was about to jump out of my seat to object or something when Sam put his arm on my arm and addressed the court.

"Actually, my client was required to turn all of her library checks over to Mr. Bennett. I have here copies of her cancelled paychecks from the bank for a period of two years. As you can see, they were endorsed by Mr. Bennett and deposited into his checking account. Mrs. Bennett did not have access to any of the money whatsoever." James glared at Sam until Judge O'Donnell addressed him.

"So Mr. Bennett, would you agree that your wife was completely dependant on you financially?"

"Well, I guess, but she didn't make the majority of the money. I did." I felt a little pang of jubilation surge through me as I realized that I had just won a battle. Granted, it was small and seemed very insignificant, but it was a battle…and I won.

"What about her parents' estate? It was left for you to settle?"

"Yes sir. Isabella was completely distraught over the tragic death of her parents. She was in no condition to make any of the decisions that were necessary at the time and willingly signed a power of attorney allowing me to handle it on her behalf. The house was the main asset and currently a sale is pending."

"I see." The judge turned to address me. "Mrs. Bennett, do you want your parents' house to be sold?" I could see James glance over to me as he pursed his lips together. Obviously he wasn't expecting the judge to ask my opinion on this matter. I took a moment to gather my thoughts about the place I called home for most of my childhood.

"To be honest, your Honor, when I left the house the day after their funeral I really believed that I would never see it again. I didn't plan on coming back. My parents aren't there. They were the ones who made it a home, now it's just a house. I don't need it to keep their memory alive because I carry it around inside of me. So yes, I'm okay with the house being sold." He gave me a sympathetic smile before referring to his note pad.

After about an hour of additional questioning, Judge O'Donnell took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. He took his glasses off and began to clean them as he spoke. His tone was different as was his speed. He now seemed very deliberate with his words.

"Mrs. Bennett, you have asked for an immediate divorce due to extreme circumstances. I have to tell you that I wholeheartedly believe in the sanctum of marriage. I think people these days get married on a whim knowing they have the safety net of an easy divorce. I also think people do not try hard enough to work things out. This is why it takes a lot to persuade me to grant a divorce without the two year waiting period." I could feel my heart beating in my chest.

_Oh God no. He wasn't going to give it to me._

"However, you have listed physical and emotional abuse as your reasons for requesting a divorce. Those are serious allegations that cannot be ignored without being properly investigated. "Mr. Bennett…" The judge waited until he had James' full attention. "Mrs. Bennett has accused you of physical abuse. I have heard her story and have seen pictures of scars that she claims you inflicted. I asked you once, but I want to hear your answer again. Did you cause your wife bodily harm while living together?" When the judge stopped talking, I looked over to James to see his reaction. Other than a slight flex in his jaw, no one would ever be able to tell if judge's question affected him. Instead, he took a step forward and spoke as confidently as ever.

"Absolutely not. I would never lay a hand on another woman, _especially_ my wife. That type of behavior is deplorable and I am offended that she would even suggest it. Yes, we argued and I may have said things in the heat of the moment that I would regret later, but I never, ever hit her. Most of the pictures show scars that she had when I first met her. She's always been uncoordinated. Without documentation from a doctor, the timing and nature of those injuries are inconclusive."

_Damn, he was good._

I jumped a little when a voice rang out from behind me. "You are a no good liar! You hurt her over and over you little…" Sam had got out of his seat to try and calm Charlie down as the judge started to bang his gavel. Charlie finally sat back down in his seat, red face and all.

"Chief Swan, I respect you as an officer of the law so I am going to ignore that little outburst. However, if it happens again I will have you escorted from the room." I could hear him take two slow breaths, obviously in attempt to calm himself down. I loved that he wanted to defend me, but I hoped he could pull it together. I wanted him in this room.

"Yes, your Honor. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

_Thank you, Charlie._

The judge, satisfied that Charlie was going to behave, turned back to James. "Mr. Bennett, have you had any contact with your wife today other than in this courtroom?"

_What?_

James must have been as perplexed by the judge's question as I was because the look on his face was one of confusion.

"Excuse me, your Honor?"

"I said did you have any contact with your wife today other than in this courtroom? And please remember, this is a public building. It would be in your best interest to tell the truth." I had no idea where he was going with this.

"Well, um, yes, I did. We bumped into each other in the lobby a few minutes before we reconvened after lunch. We spoke briefly and that was it." Sam gave me a pointed look letting me know he understood now why I was flustered before.

"During this brief encounter did you touch her?" Holy shit, now I knew where this was going. James did too. For the first time today he was sweating.

"I may have, uh, held her arm to guide her to a quiet corner so that we could talk."

"Guided you say? Could you please both come up to the bench?" Once again the judge threw me. I had no idea what he was doing and Sam gave me an encouraging look as I shakily got up to walk towards the judge. I could feel James next to me, but I didn't dare look. "Mrs. Bennett, could you please lift up the sleeve on the arm Mr. Bennett 'guided' you with?" I complied and was surprised to see a perfectly formed bruise circling my arm in the shape of four fingers and a thumb."

"I did not do that. I didn't grab her that hard." James was desperately sputtering out words in an attempt to defend himself.

"Mr. Bennett, put your hand around her arm." I stiffened with the thought of him touching me and the judge immediately saw it. "I promise it will only be for a second. Mr. Bennett?" James sighed, already knowing what was going to happen, and placed his hand around my arm so that it was over the bruise. Surprise, surprise, it was a perfect match. "Thank you. You may both go sit down."

As we made our way back to our respective tables, I could tell Charlie was doing his best to keep himself under control. Wrenching his hands together, his eyes never left James with an 'I'm going to fucking kill you for touching my daughter' look. Sam's eyes met me with a mixture of satisfaction and disappointment. As soon as I sat down he immediately reached over to gingerly inspect the perfectly formed bruise on my arm.

"_This_ is what had you upset before we started?" He whispered. I nodded as I looked at my arm. I knew it hurt while he was doing it, but I had no idea he left evidence until the judge asked me to roll up my sleeve. "You should have told me, Bella." It was all he could say before the judge was ready to continue.

"In my time, I have seen a lot of these cases. People who were once in love but now are not and want to be apart. I have seen it all, even women trying to lie about physical abuse just so they can get out of the mandatory separation trial. However, as I went over the facts of the case, some things just didn't add up. Mrs. Bennett gave up her home, friends, family, and education to support you and your career, Mr. Bennett, yet she has asked for absolutely nothing. She doesn't want alimony, a division of the assets, which includes her own parents' home, or reimbursement of her library checks. The only thing she wants is the divorce itself and to keep the location of her new city of residence private. She doesn't want a thing from you except to be away from you. Based on that, the assumption can be made that physical violence _probably_ was inflicted upon her at your hand. But you know as well as I do, Mr. Bennett, that I can't make my decisions based on _assumptions_ and _probablys_. I have always required hard, documented proof that it actually happened and as far as this case goes, the evidence is just not there."

Nausea hit me hard and I tried to fight it back by swallowing. Without documented proof it was all going to come down to his word against mine. The judge couldn't give me the benefit of the doubt.

_I'm screwed._

"I was having a difficult time coming to terms with the decision I was going to have to make. I am a law man by nature. I look at the facts as they present themselves and make a decision based on them alone. I try to leave what I feel and what I believe out of it so that I can make the most unbiased decision possible. In this case, I _believe _you manipulated Mrs. Bennett and slowly stripped away her independence so that she was completely at your mercy. I _believe _you deceived her into thinking you loved her and were sorry for your actions just so you could get control of her parents' assets. And I _believe_ that you repeatedly physically abused your wife."

"Your Honor, as you said, there is a lack of evidence. With all due respect, you can't possibly rule against me if the proof isn't there." James nervously ran his hand along his slick hair. The judge stood up and something in his eyes turned dark. He seemed angry…very angry.

"Normally, under these circumstances I would not have ruled against you. However you, Mr. Bennett, have provided me with all the proof I needed, right here in this court house. I _saw_ you grab her arm, forcefully pull her into a secluded corner, and make her cower in your presence. I _heard_ you verbally abuse and threaten her. You are very lucky she put a stop to it before I did. Now I know that your little display, as disgusting as it was, should have no bearing on my decision today. Nonetheless, I cannot in good conscience dismiss what I have heard from Mrs. Bennett and have seen with my own two eyes. For the first time in my career, I am letting my gut have a say in what I decide. You, Mr. Bennett, are not going to get the chance to hurt her anymore. "

_Oh. My. God._

"But, but…you can't do that. You…" James frantically tried to change Judge O'Donnell's mind. It was clear that he had said the wrong thing because the judge leaned forward and began to yell…loudly.

"Mr. Bennett, you obviously have no idea what I can and cannot do in _my_ courtroom. If you have any common sense you would accept the decision that has been made and hope that Mrs. Bennett is kind enough not to press charges against you for assault. If she did I would certainly offer to be a witness."

Well that shut James up. He quickly closed his mouth that had been hanging open and quietly made his way back to the table. He was quiet, but the vein bulging in his forehead gave his rage away. Judge O'Donnell took a couple of deep breaths before sitting back down and speaking again. I had been so shocked as to what had transpired that I was literally stunned into inaction. I couldn't do anything except listen to what the judge had to say.

"It is my decision that Mrs. Bennett be granted a divorce from Mr. Bennett immediately. Since no alimony has been requested, none will be granted. However, Mr. Bennett's power of attorney over Mr. and Mrs. Phillip Dwyer's estate is to be revoked and all assets will be returned to Mrs. Bennett without delay. Furthermore, Mrs. Bennett's request to keep her current residence private is granted. Any correspondence made by either party must go through the court. Mr. Bennett, if you make any attempt to contact Mrs. Bennett directly, I will not hesitate to hold you in contempt and issue a restraining order against you. Am I clear?"

"Yes, your Honor." James said through clenched teeth. Defeat was not in his vocabulary.

"Mrs. Bennett." I quickly averted my eyes away from James and focused on the judge. "I apologize for not coming to your aid in the lobby. Knowing the doubts I had, I took the opportunity to observe the interaction between the two of you when you weren't aware of my presence. Please know I would never have let him hurt you and would have intervened if it had gotten out of hand. As unpleasant as it was, it gave me what I needed to make the right decision. I hope you are satisfied with the outcome."

"I am, your Honor. Thank you very much."

Judge O'Donnell adjourned the court and left the room. As soon as he did, James was on his feet and headed my way. Before I could blink, both Sam and Charlie placed themselves in front of me.

"Get out of my way, fuckers. I want to speak to my wife."

"She is not your wife anymore. I suggest you leave before you do something you regret." Sam's voice was calm and he was trying to diffuse the situation, but I knew that by the way he was clenching his fists that he wouldn't hesitate to use them to protect me. Between Sam and Charlie, James knew that he didn't have a chance in hell at getting to me. He finally backed down, gathered his shit, and bolted from the room. When the door clicked shut, I let out a breath I had no idea I had been holding.

"Oh my God. Did that just happen? Is it over?" Charlie turned around and wrapped me up in his arms.

"It sure is, baby girl. You're free. He won't ever hurt you again." We hugged for a few more seconds before bringing Sam into it as well. Without him, this never would have been possible.

"I am going to go finish up any paper work that needs to be done. Why don't you guys go back to the hotel? I'll meet you there." Sam said as he gathered up his papers and put them in his brief case.

"Sounds good. What do you want to do tonight, Bells?" Charlie asked.

"Actually, I know we're not supposed to be going home until tomorrow, but do you think there is anyway we can get a flight out tonight. I don't know why, but I just feel like I can't stay here any longer."

"I can try to switch our tickets for later tonight. Do you think that will be okay, Sam?"

"Yeah, this shouldn't take too long. Go figure out what we can do and by that time I'll be back. We can grab dinner at the airport if we have to."

Thanks to Charlie's amazing skills, he was able to get on a flight back to Seattle leaving at 8:00pm. That gave us a couple of hours to freshen up, pack, get to the airport, and eat a quick bite before boarded the plane. The entire time I felt like I was in a dream, they type you never wanted to wake up from.

But it wasn't a dream. I was free and my new life was officially about to begin.

Waiting for the rest of the plane to board, I took out my phone so that I could shut it off. After a thought, I sent a quick text to Edward. One that I'm sure he would know the meaning of.

_I'm coming home._

**Phew! That was exhausting! I hope it was worth the wait. I'd love to know what you think!**

**Also, I wrote an outtake for For the Love of Alice about Edward and Bella's wedding day for Fandom Fights Tsunami. Over 200 authors contributed some great stuff. It's not too late to donate and get the entire compilation!**

**fandomfightstsunami (dot) blogspot (dot) com/**


	16. Chapter 16

**Happy weekend, everyone. I'm glad most of you liked the last chapter. I hope you like this one as well. Thank you to all who have read and reviewed! I appreciate it so much!**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 16**

**New Memories**

"_Passion is the quickest to develop and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still."_

_~Robert Sternberg_

**BPOV**

It had been a long day, a real long day. Any normal person would have fallen into a deep sleep as soon as they hit their assigned seat on the plane. Both Charlie and Sam had passed out before the plane actually took off. But not me. The events of the day were finally sinking in and I was way too keyed up to sleep.

Because holy hell, I was free.

It was finally over and as the plane cut through the night and got closer and closer to Washington, I felt the heaviness that had weighed down my heart, flesh, and bones for years begin to slowly dissipate and vanish into thin air. It was heavenly.

Edward had wanted to meet us at the airport but I quickly put a stop to that. First, we had used the park and fly and there was no reason for anyone to pick us up because we had a car. And secondly, we wouldn't be landing until well after midnight. A round trip to Seattle in the middle of the night would not make for a good doctor the next day. I was not about to let Edward be exhausted and possibly make life-threatening mistakes just so he could see me for a couple of hours. He finally gave in when I told him that I would make him dinner after his shift. He was always a sucker for my cooking.

Several hours later, Charlie and I were pulling into the driveway and we were finally home. Neither of us had to work the next day as we had originally thought we wouldn't be coming home until tomorrow. We were both thankful for that because we were exhausted. I skipped brushing my teeth and put on the closest pair of pajamas before collapsing into bed. This time sleep overtook me easily and immediately.

The next morning, or maybe I should say midday because it was eleven thirty when I finally opened my eyes, I felt a million times better. All the stress from the last few days had just melted away overnight. I slept better, I breathed better, and I _felt _better just knowing that I was waking up without an abusive husband hanging over my head. Now, I wasn't stupid. A piece of paper wasn't necessarily going to keep James away from me.

_I would never be completely free of him. Not as long as one of us is still breathing._

But that was a thought that I didn't want to dwell on. If I spent the rest of my life always looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to come…well I might as well forget everything Sam, Charlie, and I went through yesterday to get that damn piece of paper. It would mean nothing if I lived in constant paranoia and fear.

My stomach grumbled loudly reminding me that the last thing I had was a crappy piece of pizza that was at least a few hours old at the airport the night before. French toast sounded great at the moment. Charlie was sitting in the kitchen barely awake when I made my way downstairs for some much needed breakfast. Suddenly, I didn't know what to call him. I had been calling him Charlie, but now that I actually used the "D" word in referring to him, I wasn't sure if I was expected to keep using it. Now that he was here and I had to address him, I had to make a decision.

_He is your dad and he's surely earned the title since you arrived_.

"Morning…Dad." I think I had startled him a bit as he whipped his head around to where I was standing in the doorway. The expression on his face was a mix of happiness and concern.

"Good morning, Bells." We just kind of stood there for a moment along with the huge elephant that was currently taking up most of the space in the room. I could tell he was trying to process what I had said and come up with an acceptable response. I hated that he felt he always needed to be so careful around me.

"You know, you don't have to call me that. I realize that when you said it in the courtroom it was because of _him_ and not necessarily because you wanted to. I also know that Phil was your 'dad' for a very long time. I am not going to be hurt if you want to keep it that way."

I could see nothing but sincerity in his eyes. I realized at that moment there was nothing I wanted more than to call him dad. Sure, Phil had been the only dad I had ever known and I still missed and loved him with all my heart. But who is to say that I can't have two dads. Phil would not have wanted me to be alone. He would have wanted me to feel loved and Charlie certainly did that for me. It just seemed like the right thing to do and I knew my childhood dad would agree.

"I know you wouldn't, but that doesn't change the fact that you are my father. You have been nothing but a dad since I got here and I know Dad, I mean Phil, would be happy that I have you in my life. If it's okay with you, I would like to call you dad." As much as I wanted to look down and not see his reaction just in case it was negative, I kept my head up and looked into the eyes that looked almost like my own. They welled up a bit before a big smile took over his entire face.

"I would like that a lot, Bells. A whole lot." I couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay then. I was thinking about making some French toast. Would you like some, _Dad_?" I tested out the word and found it to be not only fitting, but completely natural as well.

"I would love some." Charlie said with a gleam in his eye. I knew at that moment that whatever direction my life took, my Dad would be a part of it.

o~o~O~o~o

After breakfast, I unpacked, did some laundry, and went to the grocery store to get some things for the house as well as my dinner tonight with Edward. Charlie took the opportunity to go hang out with Billy since he had the day off. I had awhile before I was to go to Edward's so I decided to get in a little bit of much needed exercise. Changing in to my running clothes, I headed towards the diner thinking I could get my schedule for the next week. Five miles and a healthy does of physical exertion later, I was walking into Esme's feeling winded but good.

"Bella! Well look at you. Sit down and I'll get you some water." I obliged and sat down at one of the counter stools, took some napkins from a dispenser, and started wiping down my face and neck. I was glad there weren't too many people around seeing how gross this probably looked. A minute later, Esme was sitting a tall glass of water in front of me. I took it greedily and started chugging it down.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be coming home until tomorrow, Sweetie. How did it go?"

"We got done a little earlier than expected and were able to get a flight late last night instead of today. It went well, really well. It was a little crazy, but in the end the judge ruled in my favor. It's over." Esme began to squeal as she raced around the counter to give me a full fledge hug.

"That is just so wonderful. We need to celebrate. Are you and Charlie free for dinner on Saturday?" She had pulled away but kept her arms firmly on mine.

"Oh Esme, that isn't necessary."

"Nonsense. This is a big deal. I'll make sure the kids know they should keep it open. Just check with Charlie and let me know." I knew there was no arguing with her once she had made the decision. I decided to just go with it.

"It sounds like fun. I'll talk to Charlie and give you a call." Finishing my water, I got my schedule for next week, said goodbye to Esme, and geared up for the run back. My legs burned by the time I had completed the roundtrip, but it was a good burn and I knew that I had gotten a real good workout today.

I only had a couple of hours before Edward's shift was over. I was planning on cooking over at Edward's so that only gave me a little bit of time to take a shower and make myself look pretty before heading over there. I spent more time than normal on my appearance. I had missed Edward and literally ached for his touch. If I had my way, there would be a lot of touching tonight. Smelling and looking nice would hopefully guarantee that. Oh, and a lacy matching bra and panty set from Victoria's Secret wouldn't hurt either.

_Hey, a girl has gotta do what a girl has gotta do. Do you hear me, sisters?_

I arrived at Edward's about an hour before his shift ended. Using the spare key hidden under his mat, I let myself in and started on dinner. I had decided on making him my homemade chicken parmesan. Who would have known a specific meal would conjure up all these bad memories, but when the visions from the last time had I made it flashed through my mind, I was completely taken back. It had been the night James had caught me with the cell phone. I winced as I recalled how awful that night really was. Not only did I have to endure a higher degree of James' abuse, but it was also the last day I ever talked to my mother. We didn't exactly hang up on a high note and I hated that it had ended in so much angst. The thought of chicken parmesan brought all of this back and I knew I needed to do something about it when I started tearing up in the meat section of the grocery store.

It was time to replace all of my old memories with new memories. I knew my chicken parmesan was awesome and I couldn't wait to share it with someone who would love it as well as cherish the effort that went into making it. With confidence and automatic precision, I made the dish I had perfected over the last few years. By the time Edward was supposed to be home, dinner was warming in the oven, the table was set, and the wine was open.

As I drained the pasta, I had an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. I couldn't help relive the scene that played out in my kitchen in Chicago so long ago.

Just like last time, I felt him before I saw him.

Just like last time, the hairs on my neck stood on end as I could feel his eyes on me.

Just like last time, I could feel them traveling up and down my body.

Just like last time he crossed the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed the back of my neck.

So many things were the same, but everything felt so very different. The whole scenario was completely identical to that night, right down to the food. But it wasn't the same man and that made all the fucking difference in the world.

This time, the energy I felt when he was near was exciting and consuming.

This time, the feel of his eyes on me lit my whole body on fire.

This time, I wiggled my ass a little in order to entice him.

This time, I let the love and the warmth of his embrace seep into my bones. I welcomed his lips on my neck and secretly wished for more.

I smiled knowing that I had just destroyed that horrible day in my mind and replaced it with a new memory that I would recall whenever I made chicken parmesan.

"God, I missed you, Blossom." Edward's voice heated my skin as he murmured against it. I couldn't wait any longer. I placed the colander in the sink, turned off the water, and twisted around so that I was now facing him. Without a word I brought my lips up to his and kissed the ever loving shit out of him.

_Fireworks._

I was almost embarrassed at how desperate I was presenting myself but I couldn't help it. I was a junkie and his lips were my drug. It made me feel a little better when it appeared that Edward was in just as much need as I was. By the time we broke apart, I could barely breathe but it was so fucking worth it.

"Um, hi…" I said shyly as he nuzzled my nose with his.

"Hi. Welcome home. I really liked that greeting."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. In fact, I can't tell you what it does to me seeing you in my kitchen, cooking for me. It's just…just…I just fucking love it." I snickered a little at his lack for words.

"Well, I hope you're hungry. I have made you one of my specialties."

"I can't wait. Do I have time for a quick shower? I got puked on by a kid with a concussion and even though I changed, all I smell is vomit." He involuntarily scratched his stomach which made his shirt ride up a little. I started to wrinkle my nose in disgust but when a small sliver of skin became exposed; my eyes immediately diverted to it and made me take in his appearance for the first time.

_The man was wearing scrubs. For the love of God, he was going to kill me._

The drawstring pants hung low on his hip and it was all I could do to restrain myself from finding out if he was wearing anything underneath.

_Jesus, Bella get a grip. _

"Sure. I don't think the puke smell will go with the wine." Edward laughed, gave me one more kiss, and headed off to take that shower. In the meantime, I took the tossed salad out of the fridge and put it on the table. I then took the chicken and the garlic bread I made out of the oven and started to make us each a plate. Everything was ready and I was pouring the wine when Edward came back looking more delicious than ever. His hair was still damp and the jeans and t-shirt that he just threw on made him look incredibly sexy. Add bare feet to the whole look and I was literally a puddle on the floor.

Or should I say the wine was a puddle on the table.

"Oh, shit." I exclaimed as I jerked the wine bottle in the upright position. I hadn't overflowed the glass a lot but the wine that had escaped was now finding its way to the edge of the table. I reached for a napkin and started to wipe at it before it could drip onto Edward's beige carpeting. "Shit, shit, shit!"

"Relax, Bella. It's not a big deal." He had reached into the kitchen for some paper towels and was now helping me clean up the mess. "See, no harm done." I let out a breath in relief.

"That was not how I wanted to start the evening off." I took the soiled towels from Edward and put them along with mine into the garbage. When I got back Edward opened his arms which I happily fell into.

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't worry, it's all good. Now let's sit down and eat this mouthwatering meal that you obviously put a lot of effort in to. I am starving." The rest of dinner went off without a hitch. Edward moaned and groaned about how delicious everything was and what I great cook I was. I took every compliment, every noise of satisfaction, and every vision of Edward clearly enjoying each forkful and added them to my new memory of chicken parmesan. This was how making dinner for the person you love was supposed to be. I had been missing out big time.

After dinner, we cleaned up together, refilled our wine glasses, and took them to the living room so that we could snuggle on the couch. I knew Edward wanted to know what really went down in Chicago so I figured we could sit and get it over with. It's not like we were going to be doing any physical activity anyways, not with the meal we had just eaten. It was better to talk now and do…other stuff later.

Edward was quiet and patient as I told him everything. I even told him about the encounter I had with James in the lobby. It was after all one of the major factors behind Judge O'Donnell's decision. When I told him about the bruise, his hands immediately pushed my sleeve up and he inspected the now greenish brown mark that had once been James' handprint. Edward clenched his jaw and frowned a lot but remained silent. I emphasized to him that it didn't hurt and that it wouldn't happen again, but I don't think that made him any less pissed off. As I told him what the judge had decided, he began to relax a little bit. Once I was finished, Edward cuddled me closer into his side and placed a kiss on my temple. We sat there for a few moments just letting it all sink in.

"So, Blossom, now that it's all over, what's next?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're free. There must be things you want to do." There were definitely some things I wanted to do but the expression on his face made me think we weren't on the same page. He was asking about my future, because that's the type of guy Edward is. Of course _he_ would be thinking of life goals and not fooling around.

_Hello mind. Meet gutter._

I took a moment to get my thoughts together. I had known for awhile what I wanted to do when all this was over; I just never verbalized it because I wasn't sure if it would ever be possible. "I want to go back to school. I want to finish my degree and get a job teaching English…in my own classroom." Nothing could be closer to the truth.

"I think that's a great idea. I never pegged you for a lifer at the diner. How much more do you think you have to go?"

"Well, it depends a lot on how many of my credits will transfer from Florida. First things first, I need to apply to college. I don't even know what schools are around here. I don't want to leave Forks. I want to be able to commute." There was no way I was leaving Charlie or Edward for that matter, now that I just found them.

"Well, the couple of schools in Seattle are probably out then. They're just too far. But there is the college in Port Angeles. That would be quite doable. If you want, I could go with you to check it out."

"You would?"

"Of course, silly girl. You've said a few times teaching has been your dream. I'll do whatever I can to help you get there."

"How did I get so lucky?" I truly wondered the answer to that question. Now I could see how controlling James had been. He never encouraged me to go to school in Chicago. He made it abundantly clear that he didn't want me to pursue a career in teaching. And he sure as fuck never asked me what I wanted to do. Edward was just so…unconditionally supportive. I have no doubt that if I had said I wanted to work in the diner for the rest of my life, he would respond by saying that it was a fantastic idea because the he would get to see me all the time. Whatever I wanted, he would find value in it because it was what _I_ wanted.

"You're just a lucky gal, I guess." Suddenly, I wanted to prove that statement true in the most promiscuous of ways. Little did he know, he was about to get lucky himself if I had any say in it. I reached up and placed a gentle but determined kiss on his lips. I didn't give him time to react as I continued my assault down his jaw and neck. I figured the only way to get around Edward's iron clad morals was to keep up a constant seductive front. I could tell by his growing enthusiasm that it was starting to work.

"Blossom?" He whispered.

"Hmm?" I whispered back. He was now lightly running his and up and down my back.

"I really, _really_ want to touch you."

_Bingo. Victory is mine._

It was time to tease him a little. "You realize we're on the uncomfortable couch in your living room, don't you?" I asked using his own words that he used to shut me down before I left for Chicago.

"I have a really comfortable bed in my room."

"Ummhmmm. And you do realize that I haven't actually signed the papers yet? They won't be ready for a few days."

"Yes I do. But I don't plan on making love to you tonight. I meant what I said. When I finally take you, you will be able to give yourself to me in every way. I do, however, see it as somewhat of a formality so I have no problem in making you scream my name in other ways. Multiple other ways." He kissed my neck and ran his hand up my thigh making me shiver with need.

I visibly gulped at his words. As much as I wanted to have sex with him, I respected what he was saying. Besides, I really, really wanted to find out the meaning of 'multiple other ways.'

_God help me, I needed to find out._

"Well, I guess there's only one thing to do." I untangled myself from his embrace and stood up. He looked a little bit flustered and confused for a moment, but when I reached my hand out to him a little devilish smirk flashed across his face before he accepted it. I laced my fingers in his and started to head in the direction of his bedroom until I was snapped back into his hard, toned body.

"Not so fast, Blossom. I wasn't done kissing you." Before I could come up with a snarky remark, his lips were on mine and his tongue wasted no time in plunging into my mouth. I accepted it selfishly and returned the kiss with equal fever. Up until now, Edward's kisses had been tender and caring, but there was always a cautious undertone to them. I now knew that my situation had kept him from unleashing his natural passion. There was nothing cautious about what Edward was doing to me now. His kisses, his hands, his words…they were everywhere making me feel like I was about to spontaneously combust. My boy had been holding back. A fucking lot.

So caught up in this new unguarded craze, it didn't even register that we had traveled down the hall and were now in Edward's bedroom. He led us to the bed and then guided my body until I was lying down in the middle of it.

_Damn, it is comfortable._

"Bella, I can't tell you how I have longed to have you right here, in this very spot. I want to do things to you. I want to make you feel so good, but I have to know you are ready for this as much as I am. I don't want to pressure you into anything you…"

"I'm ready." I said a little too loudly, effectively cutting him off. He raised his eyebrow a little bit at me. "I mean, I don't feel pressured at all. I'm really ready for this. I want it as much as you do." Edward searched my face for a moment looking for any hint that hesitation. When he could see none, his crooked smile made an appearance and I could feel myself become wetter than I already was.

_If that was even possible._

Edward started off by slowly stripping off my clothes. He made quick work on the buttons on my shirt and pushed it apart exposing the lacy blue bra I was specifically wearing for this occasion. I saw his eyes go wide as he took in the sight before him. I wasn't huge, but both Rosalie and Alice had said I had nice boobs. From the look on Edward's face, I would have to agree they were right. I didn't care as long as he liked them.

"Magnificent." He murmured as he used his fingers from both hands to stroke the satin straps from my shoulders to the delicate lace of the cups. His warm hands covered and fondled them. He brought his lips to mine once before beginning a slow, sensual trail of wet kisses down my neck and chest. I could feel the strength of his tongue dart out with each one and when he finally reached my breasts, I was aching for him to touch me somewhere…anywhere.

"Please…" I tried to explain that I needed him in so many ways, but was reduced to one word begging. He seemed to understand because he immediately went to work on releasing me from my bra. With nothing in his way his mouth descended down to the swell of my breasts and then around one of my nipples. He swirled the tip with his tongue as his hand massaged and kneaded the other one. My reaction was instant as fire coursed through my veins. Involuntarily, my back arched in an attempt to get closer. No matter what, it would never be close enough. The action prompted him to light bite down on my nipple and I could feel the unexpected jolt everywhere.

"Edward!" I gasped out. I could feel him smile against my chest.

"Oh, I do like the sound of that, Blossom. But I think we can do better, much better." I didn't even try to make sense of what he was saying. Instead, I just focused on the sensations he was bringing to my body. He showered a little more attention on my breasts before slowly moving on down a little. His fingers lightly grazed my ribs making me squirm a little. He used his tongue to circle around my navel as his hands moved to the button of my jeans. I was so afraid he would stop, not wanting to go any farther, that I thrusted my hips upward letting him know exactly what I wanted. His fingers popped the button and slowly brought down the zipper. What seemed like an eternity later, I my jeans were in a crumpled pile on the floor and I was laid out on full display. Edward gazed at my almost naked body with reverence, lust, and overwhelming desire.

"I've always known you were beautiful. But this beautiful…_this beautiful_ was beyond my wildest dreams. You have fucking no idea what you do to me." He hooked his fingers on either side of my panties and pulled them down my legs.

"Tell me, Blossom. Has anyone ever tasted you?" I shook my head. James had never been into that sort of thing and since he was my one and only, I had never had the pleasure…literally. He told me right off the bat that it didn't appeal to him and therefore he wouldn't do it. Of course that didn't stop Mr. Hypocrite from practically demanding that I do it for him on a regular basis. "I can't tell you how happy that makes me, knowing that no one has ever had their mouth…" Edward ran his finger along my opening. "…here."

Before I could groan in satisfaction, his magic hand was gone and he was back to kissing my now swollen lips. When he pulled away, he had my face in his hands and he looked deeply into my eyes. "I love that I'll be the first and I'll do anything to be the very last." The meaning of his words was not lost upon me and I enjoyed the chill that ran up my spine.

His declaration hung in the air he slowly crept back down my body kissing every spot he could find. When I felt his tongue in my most sensual of parts, I was unprepared for the sensations it caused. Every feeling I had was heightened. I was sensitive everywhere and as he licked, sucked, nipped, and caressed, I couldn't help be buck my hips in response.

"Oh my God, Edward." I shamelessly called out. I had experienced orgasms before and knew what to expect. But this was different. It didn't slowly build up to rolling waves of pleasure. No, this hit me light a freight train. Every muscle in my body went rigid as convulsions racked my entire frame. White light flashed behind my eyelids and I could feel my cheeks, lips, and nose get tingly and numb. When I had finally come down off my high, Edward had made his way back up to me and was running his fingers through my hair.

"Oh, Blossom. Now that was a sight to behold." I brought my face up to his and kissed his lips, tasting myself faintly.

"That was…wow. I don't even have any words." Edward was quiet as he continued to play with my hair. He was so generous in every way. I was more eager than ever to return the favor. I took my hand and dragged it down the front of his chest and farther until I felt the outline of his swollen cock through his jeans. "Edward…I want to…"

Before I could get any further, his hand reached down to mine and removed it from his crotch. "Not tonight. That was all for you. It's late and I know you must be tired. It's been a tough couple of days." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. From what I felt in his jeans, he must have been extremely uncomfortable.

"But, Edward…"

"It's okay. We have plenty of time for that and believe me; I _will _take you up on your offer. But right now, I just want to feel you in my arms. Do you think you might…um…want to stay the night? Maybe? If you don't want to I completely understand. I just…" I smiled at his rare lack of confidence. It wasn't often that Edward Cullen was unsure about anything.

"I would love stay. I just need to let Charlie know. He would worry if I didn't come home."

"Of course. I'll get you something comfortable to wear and then you can call him." Edward rummaged around his drawers and found an oversized t-shirt and pair of shorts that I rolled and cinched to make fit. When he wasn't looking, I took a big sniff and reveled in Edward's scent. I would never get enough of it.

Charlie was cool with me staying the night. I know I was his daughter, but it was nice that he also recognized that I was an adult. He appreciated the phone call and we agreed that we would eat lunch together the next day before his shift started.

Edward had gone into the bathroom and came out wearing a pair of light sleep pants and a soft t-shirt. I must have stared a little too long at his delectable appearance because Edward gave me a lopsided grin as he climbed under the covers. I smiled back as I joined him and snuggled into his embrace.

Feeling happier than I had in a very long time, I drifted into a restful sleep.

**I'd love to hear what you think! Reviews are better than chicken parmesan!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello all! I want to thank everyone who has been reading this story and reviewing it. I appreciate all of the feedback you have given me, so thank you, thank you, thank you. Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend!**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 17**

**Needs and Wants**

_"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in._

_~Morrie Schwartz_

BPOV

Waking up in Edward's arms was absolutely delightful. We had spent the entire night knotted up in each other's arms and instead of feeling suffocated or overheated, I found myself enjoying the warmth and safety that surrounded me. Light, feathery breaths fell softly on my shoulder each time he exhaled and his natural morning…situation pressed deliciously into my back. If I had it my way, I would never leave this bed.

Unfortunately _my_ natural morning situation begged me to get up and pee already. As gentle as I could, I got to work at untangling myself from Edward. I was almost free when an arm snaked around my waist and pulled me right back to where I had started.

"Whatcha doing, Blossom?" I felt downy kisses make their presence known on the back of my neck making me smile.

"I need to use the…um…" After what Edward had done to me last night, I had no idea why I was feeling so shy that I couldn't even say the word bathroom in front of him. So ridiculous.

"Okay, fine. But hurry back. I wasn't done doing what I was doing." When he put it like that, it made me pee, brush my teeth using my new 'to stay at Edward's' toothbrush, and run a brush through my hair in record time. When I got back, Edward's eyes were closed but he was reaching out to welcome me back into the bed. I was more than happy to fall into his hold and let him spoon the shit out of me. He started in on his kisses and I could feel him growing hard again except this time it was pressing into my back.

My boy could use a little help.

I slowly reached down behind me and began to lightly massage him through his underwear. All of a sudden, I felt the kisses stop and a hand wrap around my wrist putting a stop to the feel I was copping.

"What are you doing?" He asked it in a way that made me question my own motives. Was I doing it wrong? I could feel my confidence taking a hit.

"I was just…um…returning the favor…you know, from last night?" It came out in a question, showing my uncertainty. I could hear a heavy sigh from behind me before he shifted so that I was rolled on my back and he was propped up on his elbow so we could see each other's faces.

"You don't have to do that, Blossom."

"I know I don't have to. I want to." I could hear my voice trail off into nothingness. I couldn't even look him in the eye.

"I know you do and believe me, I want you to. But it can't happen, not right now anyway." Now I was thoroughly confused.

"Okay, but why not? I thought…" Hell, I didn't know what I thought. I only knew that last night was wonderful and I really, really wanted to show him just how much I enjoyed it.

"I know, but I am not about to take pleasure from a married woman."

_Ouch. That hurt._

My fallen expression must have mirrored that exact sentiment because he quickly raised his hands up in his defense.

"Wait, Blossom. I didn't mean it like that."

I felt my anger flare and my face heat up. He was the one who called not having the papers signed a "formality." I get that he doesn't actually want to do the deed until I'm officially free and to tell you the truth, I feel the same exact way. It wouldn't be right to do something so, so special and have _him_ hanging over our heads. But now, after one of the most moving experiences of my life he has the nerve to cheapen it by making me feel like a trampy adulterer preying on his virtuous morality.

_What the fuck?_

"Then how the hell did you mean it? Because last night you didn't exactly have a problem giving pleasure _to_ a married woman." I scooted a little to the side to put some distance between us and glared at him. I was not letting him off the hook on this one. I was pissed.

"You're right. I didn't exactly mind."

"You didn't _mind?_ Well excuse me, Edward. I didn't know I was pressuring you into something you didn't want to do."

"No…I wanted to. Believe me…ahh…fuck! I'm screwing this all up." He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands before speaking again. "Bella, I truly feel we should wait and ideally, nothing would have happened last night. But after everything you have gone through these past few days…hell these past few years, your craving for intimacy is hard to ignore. And last night you just seemed like you needed…something, anything. I couldn't help but give in."

_Whoa. Back up the fuck up. Craving for intimacy? He gave in?_

"So basically what you are saying is that I am a desperate, manipulative shrew of a whore that you decided to take pity on."

"What? No!"

"Well, tell me Edward. What part of the fucking description am I wrong about? The desperate whore with morals in the gutter or the charity case that you just _had_ to give in to." I jumped out of the bed intending on getting my shit together and getting the hell out of there. I couldn't stay there anymore. My dignity just couldn't take it.

"Bella, wait! Don't go. I'm not explaining this right. Please." Edward also leaped out of bed and raced around to the other side so that he was in front of me. I tried very hard to ignore just how scrumptious Edward looked in nothing but boxer briefs.

_You are a desperate shrew of a whore. _

I stopped moving but didn't say anything. Instead I opted to stare into balled up clothes I held in my arms. He moved to put his hands on my arms but thought better about it and stopped before he reached me.

"I did want to wait until everything was signed and filed because otherwise it just wouldn't be right. First, I was raised to believe that cheating was never acceptable, no matter what the circumstances. But more importantly, I didn't want anything we do to be a part of _that_ past."

"Edward, I understand that and I respect it probably a little more than you realize. But if that is how you really felt, then we shouldn't have started a physical relationship at all last night."

"I know, and I had every intention on keeping things strictly G rated, but then I saw your face and every conviction I had seemed to just go away. Suddenly what you _needed_ was way more important that what I_ wanted_. You needed to feel loved and I wanted to be that person. I wanted to be the one who made you feel loved, because…because…" His rambling trailed of and he looked unsure and a little scared. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them whatever fear had been there was just gone. "I will always want to be the one who makes you feel loved because I…I have fallen so in love you with, Bella."

_Excuse me? What?_

I froze because I wasn't quite sure if I heard him right. I honestly did not expect those words to come out of his mouth. I mean, I had known for awhile that my feelings for Edward had run deep, but I had no idea that he was feeling anywhere near the same way. It took me a minute to process it. Apparently that was too long.

"I knew it. It's too soon. I'm so sorry, Bella. Believe me, that was _not_ how I planned on telling you that." He ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"Are you sure you're not just saying that because you think it's what I want to hear? Be honest, because if it is you can take it back and I won't be mad. I swear."

"I can see where you would think that, but no Bella. I have wanted to say that to you since before you left for Chicago, but I held back because I knew it was too soon and it wouldn't have been right to spring that on you just before you left to do what you had to do. I wanted to wait until I thought you were ready to hear it. I'm not sure if you are or not and you don't have to say it back. I will wait, but I have never felt like this about anyone before. I know I love you, Blossom. Truly." His eyes told me he was telling the truth. Here my boy was baring his soul and now my own need to confess overwhelmed me.

"I love you too, Edward. And I'm not just saying it because you said it to me." The smile that erupted on his face was hard to miss. It brightened the entire room. Instantaneously, his hands were on my face and his lips found mine. This kiss was different from all the others. With all our cards on the table, this kiss held a promise for the future. But one thing was the same as all the other kisses I shared with Edward. Fireworks.

Edward broke away from the kiss first but didn't pull his head very far away. "Am I forgiven?"

"Absolutely, but I think we should stick to just kissing until everything is settled."

"Bella, I would be happy with doing what we did last night again. We don't have to go back to just kissing."

"Yes, we do. You are not comfortable with it and to tell you the truth, I agree with your reasoning. Just like you let my need override your want, I let my need cloud my judgment. I'm ready to leave the past in the past and you're right, I don't want you to be a part of that. Only the future."

o~o~O~o~o

For the next couple of days I barely saw Edward. I had gone back to work at the diner and he, well he was getting worked hard at the hospital. His residency was coming to a close and they had offered him a full-time position, but he respectfully declined. He had a plan and come this fall he would be working side by side with his father at his practice, something Carlisle was extremely proud and excited for. Knowing that Edward's mind was made up, the hospital made the most of monopolizing his time the best they could before he walked out of those doors for good. I had scoffed at their obvious overuse of him, but he said he didn't mind. He took it as a compliment and added experienced.

On Saturday, I worked in the morning and then made some twice-baked potatoes for dinner at Esme's. She had said she didn't want me making anything, but I insisted. She didn't fight me too much knowing how much I liked to cook. I was happy to contribute.

Charlie and I arrived at the house that afternoon, potatoes in hand. Everyone was there and it warmed my heart that everyone seemed so eager to celebrate my impending divorce. Even Sam and his wife Emily had made the trip from Seattle. I had asked Esme if it would be okay to invite them seeing as Sam had been so instrumental in all of this. Of course she told me not to give it another thought. Emily was pregnant, very pregnant so I hadn't been sure that they would be able to make it. But when I said something about it to Sam, he said that they both wouldn't miss it for the world.

The only one who wasn't there was Edward. He was going to be late due to his shift at the hospital. I was kind of glad because this would give me a chance to talk to Carlisle without the risk of Edward hearing. He was going to be finishing his residency soon and I wanted to get my official doctor a special gift that was doctory related. Carlisle was able to give me a catalog that gave me several ideas and I was able to hide it in the cruiser before Edward got there.

I saw his car pull into the driveway and bounced out the door to welcome him. He came straight from work and was still dressed in his scrubs. I made it clear how much I had missed him as I barreled myself into his arms.

"Hey, Blossom. I'm so glad to see you too." He gave me a quick but meaningful kiss. I reached up and traced the circles under his eyes with my thumb.

"You must be so tired. Are you sure you want to be here? I wouldn't take offense if you wanted to go home and sleep."

"Nah, I'm okay. Besides, I have every intention of taking you home with me." My girly bits took notice until I remembered that we wouldn't be doing anything of that nature. It didn't matter to my heart or my head though. Cuddling in his arms all night would be heavenly.

Edward and I made our way into the house and began to mingle. My friends were just that, the best friends you could ever have. Alice and Rosalie cornered me to ask me how I was really doing. When I finally convinced them that I was truly fine, they let me know that a separate celebration with dancing and drinks was already in the works. Emmett had given me one of his big hugs where my feet were dangling off the floor and told me how proud he was of me. With him I had not only gained a friend, but a big brother as well. At one point I pulled Jasper aside and returned his medal to him. I thanked him for giving it to me and told him how I had carried it in my pocket the entire time. He kissed me on the cheek and poignantly told me the medal might have given me some added support, but the strength had all come from inside me. Like I said, I have great friends.

Dinner was wonderful and soon after things began to wind down. Sam and Emily were the first ones to leave and I found myself following them out. He had told me that he had received the final papers in the mail and all I had to do was sign them and then Sam would fax them back to Chicago for filing.

"Once it's filed a final copy of the agreement will be sent to me and it will be considered a done deal. I'm guessing a few weeks, depending on how backed up they are." Sam explained as I used the hood of his car as a flat surface to sign the papers.

"Great. I can't wait. Hey Sam. There's something else I wanted to talk to you about."

"Yeah, what's that?"

"Well, I want to change my name, legally." Sam looked at me for a second before nodding in approval.

"Okay. I can get the papers drawn up pretty quickly. Did you want to change it back to your maiden name?" Now this is where I had done a lot of thinking. Originally I had planned to go back to Isabella Dwyer. Phil, after all had been my father growing up and he was very, very important to me. However, as time went on I realized that while keeping his name was a way to honor him and my mother, it wasn't what was going to keep their memory alive. Their spirit lived inside of me and reminded me every day of the impact they had on my life and the feelings we had for each other. I had decided that as much as I loved my mom and dad, I didn't want to go back to my childhood name. I wanted a completely fresh start and that would include embracing the people who would be a part of my future.

"Not exactly. I want to change it to Bella Swan." An undeniable smile formed on Sam's face.

"He's going to love that."

"I hope so. I want to do this for him and for me. Do you think you can keep it a secret? I want to surprise Charlie."

"Absolutely. I'll get right on it." He gave me a hug and then joined his wife in the car. As he drove away, I couldn't help but think I had done the right thing.

o~o~O~o~o

I spent the night at Edward's and enjoyed every minute of being wrapped in his arms. We both had Sunday off and decided to go hiking. Even though neither of us would ever admit it, we both had some pent up energy that we needed to get out. Climbing a mountain seemed like the perfect remedy. That was until I saw Edward in a pair of hiking shorts.

_Goodness gracious._

I spent the day ignoring them and focusing on not tripping over any tree roots. We had been relatively quiet on the way up, just a few words between us as we pushed ourselves towards our goal. Reaching the top had been an adrenaline rush and we embraced each other, sweaty bodies and all, as we took in the gorgeous view. Once we got our fill, we found a place to sit and eat the lunch I packed and enjoy each other's company.

"So, I don't need to go in tomorrow until four. Do you want to go to Port Angeles and check out the campus?" Edward had been very encouraging of my college career the moment I had mentioned it.

"Really? Are you sure? I don't want you to be tired for your shift." Edward was going in for a double.

"We can go in the morning and be back by lunch time. As long as I take a nap I'll be fine." I couldn't disagree with that logic because, damn, I was excited about visiting a college.

The next day, we got up early, had breakfast, and made our way to the campus. The feel was familiar and for the first time in a long time, I wanted something.

I wanted _this_.

We wandered around for awhile and eventually ended up in the admissions building. I wanted to get an application packet and find out what I had to do to transfer my credits from Florida to here. I found myself talking to a Mrs. Cope who was very helpful. An hour later we left with everything I needed to become a student at the University at Port Angeles. Hopefully, everything could get taken care of quickly so I could enroll this fall, but if not; next spring would be fine too. I had resigned myself to the fact that I was probably never going to get this opportunity, so a few months wouldn't be a big deal. I was so energized and scared shitless at the same time. Edward must have sensed the mixed up emotions coursing through my body because once we were in the car, he placed a gentle hand on my thigh and started to draw circles with his thumb. As usual, the contact was comforting.

"It's going to be great, you know. _You're_ going to be great." He always said what I needed to hear.

"I haven't been a student in a long time. I hope I can keep up."

"There may be an adjustment period but as soon as you find your groove, you'll be fine."

The next day I took the first step in finding my 'groove.' I called Florida to see what I needed to go about getting my transcripts sent to Port Angeles.

**I know it's a little shorter than normal but it was a good place to stop. I would love to hear what you think. Please take and moment and review. Thanks in advance!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you to those of you who have been reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it!**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 18**

**With You and For You**

"_A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver."_

_~Thomas Kempis_

**BPOV**

"Okay, the score is seven to six. You guys don't get this, we win. You're drawing, Edward. No pressure." Alice said smugly trying to make her brother feel nervous.

"That's right, Al, no pressure at all. Because I am a Pictionary master." Edward had one hand on his hip and the thumb on his other was pointing towards his chest. He was sporting his own smug look.

"You're a doctor. You can't even write your name legibly let alone an entire picture. Girls, we've got this one in the bag and you know what that means, don't ya?"

"_To Live and Love_!" Rosalie and I screamed on cue. That was the name of the movie we girls to see. The boys wanted to see some ridiculous violent crap called _The Bone Crusher_. When we arrived at an impossible impasse, Jasper came up with the idea of an epic game of Pictionary. Girls against the guys. Winners pick.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see about that. Just give me the fucking card already." Edward grumbled but gave me a wink as well. "You guys ready?"

"Bitches are going down!" Emmett yelled a little too emphatically.

"Did you just call us….bitches?" Rosalie put her hands on her hips and glowered at Emmett as she stood up. Emmett looked a little scared and started backtracking with exuberant arm gestures.

"You know I didn't mean it baby. I just got caught up in the game. I would never disrespect you or any other woman. I just…c'mon guys help me out. It's the adrenaline rush speaking. Right?" Both Edward and Jasper gave him a look that told him he was on his own on this one. "You guys suck. Whatever happened to bros before…"

"I swear to God if you finish that sentence you will be calling your hand one of your bros because that will be the only thing touching you for a long, long time."

"Dude, you are seriously digging yourself a hole. Just shut up." Jasper had leaned in and not so subtly whispered to him. Emmett sat back dejectedly and clamped his mouth closed.

"Are you guys ready to fucking play already?" Edward looked at the other two Stooges to make sure they were ready before speaking again. He grabbed the marker and went over to the easel holding the large pad of paper. "Okay. Bella, flip the timer." I did what he said and watched his muscles flex as he began to draw.

Edward started to draw what was obviously some kind of animal.

"Bear…rabbit…pig…" Emmett began listing animals and Edward kept shaking his head.

"No you dipshit, it has pointy ears. A raccoon…a fox…" I could see Edward getting frustrated by his team. How the hell could they not see that he was obviously drawing a cat? It had whiskers and everything. Edward drew the rest of the body and suddenly both Jasper and Emmett figured it out.

"It's a cat!" Edward gave them a sarcastic thumbs up before going on to the next word. He drew this long oval shape with a really rounded end and began pointing to it with the marker.

"Log…tube…road…" Jasper threw out ideas while Emmett narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized the picture. Edward kept shaking his head. He pointed to the cat and then the shape over and over. "Is that supposed to be a piece of shit? Please tell me the card didn't say cat shit on it?" Whatever Alice was drinking was suddenly causing her to splutter and cough. We were all just about to lose it from laughing so hard. Edward drew a line down the center of the shape and then again pointed back and forth between it and the cat.

"Oh, I see it now. It's a tongue?" Edward nodded his head furiously up and down and began pointing again. "A cat cleans itself with its tongue? Tongue of a cat? I don't know. I fucking give up." Jasper flopped backwards until he hit the back of the couch. He was ready to assume defeat. Just then, Emmett jumped up to his feet like someone had lit his ass on fire.

"I got it. I fucking got it." The timer was almost up. We all looked upon Emmett in anticipation. This was it, for all the marbles. Jasper and Edward looked hopeful. Alice and Rose looked nervous. Finally, Emmett shouted out his answer.

"Pussy licked!" There was silence for a good ten seconds before everyone erupted at the same time.

"Time's up." I announced.

"What the fuck?" Jasper yelled.

"You're shitting me, right?" Edward growled and then threw the marker at him.

"Awesome answer, sweetie." Rosalie made her way to his side and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"We win! _To Live and Love_ it is." Alice squealed.

"What? That's not it?" Emmett's sincerity was utterly adorable.

"It was 'cat got your tongue' you asshole." Edward spat at him.

"Hey, don't asshole me. Your drawings kind of suck, doucheward." There was a little two much testosterone in the room for my liking and I was happy when Alice announced that we had to go if we were going to get seats together. Edward and Emmett gave each other one last menacing stare before breaking out into smiles and fist bumping. We grabbed what we needed and headed out the door to Emmett's Hummer. It was a little cramped and we had to squeeze, but I ended up sitting on Edward's lap and I would never complain about that. He wasted no time nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck.

"I'm sorry you guys have to see the chick flick." I said honestly. As much as I'm glad we won, spending two hours watching something that doesn't appeal to you in the slightest doesn't sound like much fun.

"I'm not, Blossom. This way I won't feel bad about spending ten bucks when the only thing I plan on doing is focusing solely on you." Sometimes he made my head spin with the words that came out of his mouth. This was one of those times.

"You better not distract me. I really want to see this movie." I playfully responded.

"I wouldn't dream of it. You'll be able to watch the entire thing, but just be aware that while you're watching the screen, I'll be watching you."

And he did.

I thought he was kidding, but he wasn't. He watched me, my expressions, and my reactions for the entire two hours. He held my hand, kissed my knuckles, stroked my hair, fed me popcorn, and just about everything else you can do in a movie theater without preventing the person next to you from actually seeing the movie. I hate to admit it, but I loved it. The movie was so romantic but it didn't compare to the incredibly attentive guy I had sitting right next to me.

After we decided that we were going to take things down a couple hundred notches and not continue a physical relationship until everything was final, we both relaxed immensely. Looking back, I think that neither of us was ready to take that next step for various reasons and once it was off the table, we could just…be.

Don't get me wrong; there were times when the sexual tension between us was stifling and I know it wasn't just me. Edward's always apparent erection was proof of that. However, knowing that we weren't going to do anything about it took a tremendous amount of pressure off both of us and even the most difficult moments would eventually pass.

It wasn't like we were spending a lot of together anyway. Edward was at the hospital for what seemed like days at a time and I was busy working and trying to apply for college. We even limited the number nights a week that I spent the night at Edward's. I enjoyed falling asleep in Edward's arms, but my relationship with Charlie was as equally important to me. Edward understood this and was very encouraging. Neither of us expected that I would suddenly ditch Charlie the few nights a week he had off just I just happened to get a boyfriend. If he was home at night, so was I just as it should be. We would have dinner together and continue to make up for the last twenty plus years.

The time Edward and I were together we spent doing things that we both enjoyed and just got to know each other better. We constantly kissed, held hands, snuggled, and every other innocent gesture we could think of. The love we felt for each other was able to grow slowly and steadily. It was genuine and a good, strong foundation had been fostered. Deciding to hold off on an intimate relationship had been the best thing for us.

Even if it did suck at times.

o~o~O~o~o

By the time the middle of August rolled around, things were quickly changing. I had found out that it was just too late to get accepted into the education program at Port Angeles for the fall semester. I had been a little bit disappointed at first, but in the long run I realized it was a blessing in disguise. One of the advisors at the college suggested applying for entrance into the program for the spring semester. In the meantime I could take a couple of English electives this semester and apply them to my degree once I had been admitted into the program. This way, I could ease into it without the pressure of a full load of classes. It would also allow me to continue to work at the diner. It seemed like the perfect fit for me.

Emmett had stopped being a nuisance around the diner and actually became kind of scarce. Football practice had started and he was very busy getting his team ready for the season. Alice and Jasper were getting ready to go back to school in Seattle. Jasper was one year away from becoming a school guidance counselor. Rosalie was also going back to school, but her time would be spent mostly in Port Angeles at the teen center.

Everyone was either going back to school or back to work except for Edward. He actually had only a week left in his residency and then he would be considered a full fledge doctor. It had been decided long ago that he would take a couple of weeks off before joining his father. It would mean some much needed down time for him to relax and regroup. These last few weeks had done a number on him.

His last day was Friday and of course, a party had been planned for Saturday to celebrate Edward's achievement. A lot of people had been invited and I had offered to help, especially with the food. Esme was completely grateful and did not hesitate to include me on the planning. Between the two of us cooking, Alice decorating, and Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie taking care of drinks and music, it was going to be a blast. He deserved this and I was so happy to be a part of it.

I had struggled over what kind of gift to get Edward. I wanted it to be something meaningful to his career, but also something that would show him how much I cared about his success. Having been at a total loss in what a doctor needs, I finally took the catalog Carlisle had let me borrow and went to see him during my lunch break one day. He was very, very helpful and by the time I left I had decided on a stethoscope that I planned to have engraved and a white lab coat with his name embroidered on it. When I placed the order and ensured that it would get here on time, I was very pleased with myself. I didn't know it at the time, but a few days before the party I found out that I would be able to give Edward another gift. Something a little more…personal.

Sam had been so excited he drove right to the diner and arrived in the middle of my shift. My certificate of divorce had arrived as well as all the paper work for my parents' estate. James had not dragged his feet or fought any of the judge's decision. I had no idea why and fuck if I cared. The only thing that mattered was that this horrible nightmare was officially over and I was free to move on in any direction I wanted.

_And I wanted to move in the direction of Edward's bed. As soon as possible._

Edward had been right. As I held the papers in my hand, everything felt different. At the time I hadn't realized that there had been a James shaped cloud hanging over us all the time. But now that it was completely over, the cloud dissipated and everything I felt for Edward became more real and intensified. Our celibate time had been great for our relationship, but I was truly ready to give myself to him in every way.

_And I wanted it to be special._

My mind began conjuring up elaborate and complex scenarios that in the end just weren't us. I wanted to be able to focus on being with him and enjoying everything we had to offer each other. Complicated lingerie and edible props might be interesting and fun, but they were not appropriate for our first time. This time it would only be about the two of us.

On Edward's last day at the hospital, I knew he would be home a little early. He was working a little, but most of the day would be gathering his final documentation and clearing his stuff out of his locker. The staff was also planning a little surprise farewell for when they happened to be a little slow.

I tried to envision what would make the night perfect. Keeping it simple, I decided on a home cooked meal, a romantic and comfortable atmosphere, and a slightly more forward version of me. By the time Edward got home, I had everything in place.

A dinner of homemade pasta in a tomato basil cream sauce was warming on the stove filling the air with a delicious scent. Several candles gave of a soft glow that illuminated Edward's bedroom. I had decided to forgo any type of lingerie but I didn't want to just stand there stark naked. After much deliberation, the idea of using the new lab coat as a robe struck me and I decided to just be brave and go with it. I put on a little makeup and teased my hair a little, hoping it looked sexy. Then I stood next to the bed with my hands behind my back, clutching a single piece of paper rolled up and tied with a red ribbon.

All I had to do was wait, and thank God, I didn't have to wait long. I heard a jingle of a lock and the front door open and close. This was it. And fuck I was nervous.

"Bella? Bel-la? Are you…" Before he could finish the sentence he poked his head into his bedroom and stopped short. "You…you are here." His voice cracked a little as his eyes raked me over from head to toe.

"Yes, I am. Congratulations…" I brought one hand from behind my back and ran it through my hair. "…Dr. Cullen." I walked over to him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He kissed me back, but I could feel the shock and the trepidation he was feeling.

"Thank you, Blossom. Uh, what is all…" He looked around the room and then back at me. "…of this?" He swallowed hard and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was turned on, and that it scared the fuck out of him. I was hoping that what I said next would ease all of those fears.

"This, Dr. Cullen, is a celebration. It's not everyday that one can finally call themselves a doctor. I am so very proud of you and I wanted to get you a gift." I brought my hand up to the front of the lab coat and fiddled with the opening. Then I pulled my hair out of the way and stuck my chest out so that Edward could see his name right about where my breast was. "I was told you aren't officially a doctor until you have one of these with your name embroidered on it. Do you like it?" His eyes stayed glued to the stitched words as he nodded slowly.

"I-I love it." He stared and stared and looked like he was about to combust.

"And that's only just part of your gift." That made his eyes snap up to mine. "I have something else for you." I brought my other hand holding the piece of paper. "Here, take a look."

Edward's hand shook as it rose to take the piece of paper from me. I patiently waited for him to fumble with the ribbon until he just decided to slide it off one end. He unrolled it and started to read the words that I hoped would change everything.

"Is this…is this what I think it is?" He said in disbelief.

"It is." I took a step closer and placed my hand on the side of his cheek willing him to look at me. Only when I knew I had his complete attention did I speak. "I'm free, Edward, in every way. You once said to me, 'today, tomorrow, next week, next year. I plan on being here. With you and for you.' I am ready, Edward, ready to put the past in the past and be _here_. With you and for you. I love you and I want you to make love to me…please."

There was a brief moment when I thought he was going to turn me down, but when he closed his eyes and opened them again I knew that wasn't the case. They were filled with love, devotion, and most of all lust. He brought his lips down to mine and kissed me once.

"You, Blossom, are it for me. You have been since the day you agreed to eat my slice of apple pie. If you are really sure that you are ready, I would love nothing more than to show you just how I feel. But, I need to know…" I could see the struggle this wonderful man was going through. It was obvious he wanted me, but not at the expense of my well-being. It was time to reassure him. I put both hands on top of his shoulders before looking him straight in the eye and spoke the words he had said to me before I left for Chicago.

"I have no doubt and I know I will not have any regret. This…_this_ is a good thing. _We_ are a good thing."

I must have convinced him because all of a sudden I was whisked off my feet and laid down on the top of the bed. Edward hovered over me as he placed open mouthed kisses along my neck and collar bone. He stopped when he came to the first button on the lab coat.

"This is nice. Really nice and I like it a lot. Thank you for it. But it has to go." His urgency made me giggle a little as he undid all of the buttons one by one. When he finally had them all undone, he pealed away the coat like it was wrapping paper. He wasn't a ripper, he took his time to keep the suspense going just a little bit longer. When he finally realized that I was naked underneath, what little restraint he had went out the window.

_About fucking time._

His hands and lips were everywhere: my hair, my breasts, my thighs, my waist. No piece of skin was left untouched. I silently thanked God for elastic as I tugged on his scrubs until they were completely off. I had never seen Edward without clothes on and let out a little gasp as I drank him in with my eyes. This man's body was a finely tuned instrument.

_My boy worked out._

My hands joined in with his as I couldn't resist touching him any longer. Purposely I grazed my hand lightly over his extremely large cock. Every time I came into contact with it his hands grabbed me tighter. As he licked, sucked, pulled, and teased, my whole body felt like it was on fire. I wasn't going to make it for very much longer. I _wanted _him. I _needed_ him.

"Edward…I can't…I need you." I heard Edward sigh in relief as he brought his lips back up to mine and kissed me passionately.

"Bella, are you…should I…" I knew what he was asking and I had another little surprise for him there as well.

"I'm on the pill and I've been tested." The puzzled look on his face told me he didn't understand. This wasn't exactly the most romantic time to go into details, but I didn't want Edward to have any doubts. "I went to the doctor and got checked out awhile back. I had a feeling we would be heading in this direction and I wanted to be ready. If you would feel more comfortable using a condom, I bought some. They're in the drawer next to your bed." The puzzled look turned into total adoration.

"I'm clean too and I trust you, Blossom. I want to feel you." With that he moved towards my entranced and gave it a little rub. I replied with a moan. "Bella, fuck, what you do to me. I need you…now."

"Then take me…please." Edward didn't need any more encouragement. He pushed into me slowly allowing me to adjust to his size. When he was finally inside I could feel my walls hug him and hold on to him, never wanting to let him go. It was a feeling I had never had before and I knew this was different. This was the way it was supposed to be. I was fulfilled, consumed, and connected. It was like Edward had been made just for me.

Edward worked up to a rhythm that was both satisfying and exhilarating. The pressure and the speed brought me to new heights and I was close, so very close. Edward's expression told me that he was close too.

"Blossom, I'm…I'm…oh fuck…" Feeling him explode was enough to set off my own orgasm.

"Edward…uh…oh God…" Wave after wave of pleasure coursed through my body. Tingles shot to my extremities as well as my face. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. When I finally came down from my high, I could feel the weight of Edward bearing down on me. It made me feel safe.

"Holy shit, Bella. I don't even know what to say. That was incredible." He rolled off of me and pulled me to his side. "I love you, so fucking much."

"I love you, too."

And my God, I did. With all of my heart.

**Thanks for reading!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you to everyone who has been reading this story. I greatly appreciate it!**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 19**

**Moving Forward**

"_It is strange how one feels drawn forward without knowing at first where one is going."_

_~Gustav Mahler_

**BPOV**

The next morning, Edward didn't want to let me go. I literally had to fight my way from his grasp and out of his bed, which was difficult especially since I didn't want to leave. Edward's pleads and pouts were almost enough to get me to stay, but in the end I did what I was supposed to do.

"It's my party. I don't care if there is any food." Edward said as I began to get dressed. He was still in bed and still pouting. The sheet covered his bottom half leaving his muscular and tantalizing top half completely exposed. I tried not to stare. I really, really tried, but my will power just wasn't that strong. I forced myself to move my eyes up to his face in order to respond to his ridiculous statement.

"Your guests might see it differently. What party doesn't have food?" I sat on the edge of the bed to put on my sneakers.

"The kind where the cook said 'fuck it' and spent the day in bed getting feasted on by her incredibly talented boyfriend."

_Oh, my. Well, since you put it that way…_

I had to get out of there or I was going to say 'fuck it'. "As wonderful as that sounds, your mother and I have a plan and we're sticking to it. Everyone is going to be there to celebrate you and your accomplishment. You've worked so hard. You deserve a fantastic party with fantastic food. I want to do that for you." It wasn't a lie. He had done so much for me this was the least I could do in return. I grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it.

"We could just order pizza…" Edward sheepishly said.

_God he was cute…and relentless._

"Not good enough. Now, I know you're still exhausted so I want you to go back to sleep for awhile. You're going to need it. Knowing Alice, this shindig will go late into the night."

"Yeah, you're probably right. What about after the party? Do you…do you think you might want to stay here?" Edward had never asked me to stay. He didn't want to pressure me or force me to choose between him and Charlie. It was just assumed that when I wanted to I would and he was fine with whatever I decided to do. For him to specifically ask, I knew it would mean a lot to him. Lucky for him I had already planned on it. Charlie was working the night shift, but even if he hadn't I still would have stayed with Edward. This was his night after all.

"Well, Dr. Cullen, I think you may just be stuck with me tonight." I rested my hand on his thigh and drew small circles with my thumb. The grin on Edward's face lit up the room. He shifted over so that he was behind me, brushed my hair over my shoulder, and then placed a slow, sensual kiss on my neck. I could feel the shiver run down my spine.

_My fuck that boy is going to be the death of me._

"I think I rather be stuck to you, but I'll take what I can get, Blossom." Okay, that was my cue to get the hell out of there. If I didn't make my escape then, I would very likely end up stuck to him.

"On that note, I gotta go. The food is calling." I stood up quickly and spun around. After placing a very quick kiss on his cheek, I rambled out a few sentences about getting some sleep and seeing him later before hightailing it out of the room.

_Damn him. Why did he have to make leaving so difficult?_

o~o~O~o~o

As soon as I got home I immediately when into full cooking mode. Esme and I had planned a very straightforward menu and I had done all the shopping and a lot of the prep work the last couple of days. Today was just about throwing it all together and bringing it over to the Cullen house. Within three hours, Charlie was helping me load all the food into the cruiser and driving me over.

_I really need to get my own car. I'll think about that next week._

As soon as we pulled in the driveway Emmett was bounding out the door ready to help carry things in. I thought it was a really nice gesture but soon found out that his intentions were a little on the selfish side.

"Shit, Bella. This all smells so good. What is it?"

"Baked ziti, meatballs, sausage and peppers, and a yummy desert that I like to call crack."

"Crack?" Charlie and Emmett said at the same time.

"Yeah, it's just that addicting." Immediately Emmett was looking through the containers in the trunk. Normally I wouldn't care, but I didn't want the food to be exposed to whatever had been in the trunk of Charlie's cruiser. Just the thought made me shudder.

"Emmett, stop that." He didn't stop. "For crying out loud can we just get inside first?" He still didn't stop.

"Son, hands off the food." Charlie said with his most convincing police officer tone. That got Emmett to stop what he was doing and looked up to meet Charlie's menacing glare.

_God, I loved him._

Emmett actually gulped. "Uh, sorry sir…Bella. I'm just a little excited and hungry." He seemed really remorseful and I couldn't help but be flattered a bit.

"It's okay. Once we get it inside you can taste test anything you want. Let's just carry it in." The three of us each made two trips before we had everything out of the car. Once we were finished, Charlie said that he would be back for the party and took off. I stayed to help, but it looked as if Esme and Alice had it all under control.

_Which meant bad news for me._

"Okay, let's go Bella. Time to get you ready."

I really didn't like the sound of that, but before I could protest I was whisked away upstairs and forced to take a shower. Rosalie made it clear I needed one.

"You smell like marinara sauce and sex. Something you want to tell us, Bella?" I opted to jump in the shower.

In the end I was glad Alice and Rosalie took charge. In my effort to get the food done I had come over without a change of clothes. Meeting a lot of Edward's friends and colleagues with grubby clothes that had stains and apparently smelled like sex and food wouldn't have been the best first impression to make. Instead, I smelled nice, had a trendy summer picnic outfit, and a defining but natural look to my hair and makeup. As much as I complained, I loved the girls for caring about me enough to help me look good for my man.

He had been pleased himself. As soon as Edward arrived, he sought me out and practically ravaged my mouth. "You, Blossom, are stunning." I took in his jeans and black button-down that had its sleeves rolled up and thought the same thing.

"Thank you, my handsome man." I wanted to give him the last part of my gift before everyone arrived. I handed him the long, slim box that I had wrapped almost a week ago. Once he had it open I could see the emotion on his face.

"Bella, you already gave me so much. You didn't have to do this too." That is what he said but the look on his face as he inspected the stethoscope said differently.

"Of course I did. Look at the inscription." Edward looked at the part you lay on a person's chest and began to read the quote I had scoured the internet for. It took hours before I had found something perfect.

"The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye but found by the heart. Oh, Bella, this is perfect. Really." He grabbed my by the waist and spun me around. Once I had my feet back on the ground Edward pulled me close and brought his lips to my ear. I swear I heard him inhale before whispering to me with a warm breath. "I couldn't agree more." I felt all tingly inside as his words reached ever part of my body. His nose lightly grazed my skin as he moved down from my ear to my lips. He captured them in a kiss that said so much. An overwhelming pressure grew in my chest as my heart threatened to explode with all of the feelings I had for this man. He was a great treasure and I was so lucky his heart had found me.

Edward had made it clear he wanted me by his side most of the night. He wanted to introduce me the people who had been important to him in various stages of his life. I met his childhood piano teacher who looked to be ninety plus years old. When I mentioned that he didn't even tell me he played, she smacked him in the back of the head and insisted he show me as soon as possible what those "magic" fingers could do. I choked back a snort knowing exactly what those talented fingers could do. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that wasn't what Mrs. Hagle was talking about.

_So very magical…not now, Bella._

I was also reacquainted with Edward's friend from high school, Mike and even got to meet his wife, Jessica. I hadn't seen him since that night at the diner when he staggered his drunken ass over to my booth and tried to hit on me. He apologized to me a couple of times and I let him know that it wasn't necessary. At the time it had freaked me out, but now I could see it for what it was…a typical bachelor party. He had gone home and called Jessica and confessed his intoxicated antics. She knew something like that was going to happen and wasn't mad at him, but also felt the need to apologize to me for his behavior. She called him a dumb ass and a few other mildly insulting names and Mike agreed to every single one of them. The two of them were so funny, but it was obvious they were also very in love and perfect for each other. Regardless of what Mike had said at the diner, it was clear he never would have gone through with any kind of cheating whatsoever. He was too much in love with his wife. I liked them both a lot. Jessica and I exchanged numbers with the intention that we would set up a double date.

The party continued in much of the same manner. So many people came to celebrate Edward's accomplishment. I spent a lot of time just watching him interact with all of his guests. There were a lot of people I knew and many I didn't, but one thing was clear. Edward was loved by this community. They had watched him grow up and even though they all knew that he was something special and could go anywhere, he came home to share what he learned with the people of Forks. And they truly appreciated it.

Well after midnight, I was driving us back to Edward's apartment. He hadn't had a ton to drink, but enough for him to give me the keys. I had never seen Edward tipsy but I was learning that he was a very lovey dovey drunk. It was not easy to drive a car, something I had done so rarely in the last several years, and try to ignore Edward's gentle caresses and kisses at the same time. Somehow I managed and we made it back to his place. All the way up to his apartment he held my hand, stroked my hair, and even stopped us so that we could make out a bit. The glassy look in his eye was a combination of inebriation and fascination and a cute, sexy smile was plastered on his face. I don't think he could have removed it if he tried.

"Come here." Edward said once we were inside. He didn't have to ask me twice. In an instant I had taken the two steps and was in his arms.

"Did you have fun?"

"It was a great party. Thank you, Bella. I know you did a lot of work for it."

"We all did and it was totally worth it. _ You_ are totally worth it." We stood there for a bit and soaked up the moment. After a couple of minutes, I started to wonder if Edward had fallen asleep.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?" He answered lazily. The alcohol was really starting to set in. He wasn't asleep yet but he would be soon. He needed to be lying down before that happened or else I would have a really big problem on my hands.

"C'mon sweetie, let's go to bed."

"O-kay." I led him to the bedroom and sat him down on the edge of the bed. Making quick work of his shoes and most of his clothes, I pulled back the covers and managed to get him to get under so I could tuck him in. I gathered up a few things wanting to complete my nighttime routine. I had to chuckle when I heard Edward's soft snores before I even made it to the bathroom.

Once I was done getting ready for bed, I slid in next to Edward's warm, unconscious body. I couldn't help taking my hand and brushing away a few strands of hair that had fallen over his eyes. He didn't stir, even when I placed a soft kiss on his lips. I leaned back on my pillow and let the events of the day run through my mind.

It had been a very good one.

o~o~O~o~o

The next two weeks flew by. Having Edward around all the time had made me realize just how much I had missed him when he was being driven into the ground at the hospital. Not just physically, mentally as well. A lightness had come over him that I hadn't seen in a while. At the time, I hadn't been fully aware of the toll the exhaustion and stress had taken on him those last few weeks. But now, it was obvious he had felt a heavy burden on his shoulders. Two weeks of being away from it and he's like a new guy.

_And this new guy has an appetite…for a lot of things._

We had become quite adventurous in the bedroom, and out. We tried all sorts of different sex. Rough sex, kinky sex, oral sex, shower sex, awkward car sex, outdoor sex, morning, noon, and night sex, sex in different positions, sex in different parts of the apartment, role play sex, sex with toys…you name it, we tried it. We still had our tender moments of love making, but this new side of things was exciting and really just fueled our desires even more. We were learning a whole new side of each other. Fuck, I was learning a whole new side of myself.

_And damn, it was fun._

While Edward was decompressing, I was gearing up for starting a whole new challenge. I had signed up for two classes, Nineteenth Century Literature and Creative Writing, and had bought all of the required text books as well as any supplies I thought I would need. Charlie helped me buy a dependable and reasonably priced used car and I also applied for my real Washington State license using my new legal name. Edward had even gone out driving with me, despite clinging onto the sides of the seats for dear life. I guess I was a little bit out of practice. But eventually I got better and even Edward had to admit it.

Class would bring me to campus Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. I had an hour in between which I planned on using to my advantage in the library. On Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, I would be working the morning shift at the diner. That would leave me the afternoon and evening to do school work if I couldn't get it done on the days I had class. It wasn't an extremely demanding schedule, but after the first week of class, I realized what a good decision I had made. I hadn't done this in a while and it all felt a little overwhelming as the professors discussed reading lists and written papers. I had no doubt that I would eventually fall into a groove, but I was glad I was only responsible for two classes at this point.

Despite my anxiety, I also felt so much excitement for what I would be doing. A sudden rush of ideas as I attended my first day of classes. I couldn't wait to get home and start the reading and the first assignment. I knew that feeling of positive enthusiasm well. I always felt it at the beginning of ever new semester. I was finding that being a student was kind of like riding a bike. I had been away from it for a long time, but the familiarity of it all was extremely comforting.

After his little break, Edward went to work at his father's practice. He had made that decision years ago and now that he was at it, you could tell he just loved being there. He left that office every day with a smile. We were both very busy, but we made time for each other. Edward stopped in for his coffee and pie before heading over to the office on the days I worked and I tried very hard to make sure I got my school work done on the days I had class. Every once in a while I would have to continue it on a Tuesday or Thursday, but as time went on I found that I was adjusting to the workload just fine. But even if I did, Edward didn't mind at all. He knew school was important to me. Charlie and I also worked to make sure we had a couple of nights when we were both home. It was really going well until…

"So, Bells…what would you like to do for your birthday next week?" The coffee I was drinking came spewing out of my mouth and onto the counter. I immediately grabbed a paper towel and wiped it up nervously.

"Um, what…it's not…I'm not sure…"

"Bells, I know when you were born. I was there."

_Oh yeah, I guess he was. Damn._

"Right, it's just that I'm not really big into celebrating it. I am getting old, you know." I couldn't even look at him as I gave him that ridiculous excuse. The truth was, I hadn't felt like celebrating these last couple of years and James was willing to forget it completely. The whole thing just made me feel uncomfortable."

"Since when is twenty-five over the hill?" He waited for me to answer and when it was apparent I didn't really have one, he continued. "If you don't want to do anything, I will respect that. But Bells, I haven't been able to celebrate the day you were born with you for a very long time. I would love to do something a little special, even if it is just dinner here." Now how could I deny him that?

"Okay, that sounds nice, Dad. Really." I said and I meant it.

"Great, and don't worry about dinner. Let me take care of that."

"But you don't cook."

"Nope, but I can order with the best of them." I laughed out loud with that one before giving my dad the biggest squeeze. "And don't forget to invite Edward."

I tensed up a little bit. If Edward knew, Alice would eventually find out. I did want a party and I certainly did not want to be the center of attention. I was trying to figure out a way to explain this all to my dad, but he wasn't hearing it.

"Bella, he's important to you. If you don't invite him, I will. You don't have to tell anyone else, but if you leave him out of this, he's going to be hurt when he finds out. Do you really want that?"

No, I didn't want that. At all. "Okay, Dad. You have a point. I'll invite Edward, but just Edward."

So I took my dad's advice and asked him. I resisted the urge to cringe when he lit up like a Christmas tree. When I didn't share in his enthusiasm, he promised to keep it to himself and stay true to the low key tone I desperately wanted. I tried to believe him, yet the twinkle in his eye made it difficult. He was excited at the prospect of celebrating my birthday and I couldn't bring myself to burst his bubble. Instead, I resigned myself into enjoying whatever Edward would do to make the day special with a smile on my face.

As much as I hate to admit it, I found it quite easy to do. On the morning of my birthday, I had agreed to open the diner for Esme. It turned out that her and Carlisle's anniversary was the same weekend and he had wanted to take her overnight to a bed and breakfast to celebrate. It made me happy that I could do something for two people who had been so wonderful to me that I didn't even mind getting up before dawn to prepare for the breakfast crowd. I needed to turn on the griddles and ovens, make coffee, and put the pastries on display on the glass covered plates. The cooks and the rest of the waitresses would be in an hour later and soon after that, customers would start drifting in. Edward was working his normal shift but had wanted to go in a little bit earlier to rearrange some things in his examination room. Now that he was settled in, there were some set up changes that he wanted to make and it was just too busy during the day. So I wasn't surprised to see him standing at the diner door about a half hour after I arrived. I went over and unlocked it to let him in.

"Happy Birthday, Blossom." He brought from behind his back a bouquet of Gerber daisies in all different colors.

_And so it begins._

"They're beautiful. Thank you." I took them out of his hand and reached up to give him a kiss. He wove his arms around me and took the kiss to the next level."

"_You're _beautiful." He murmured as he nuzzled his nose into my neck. I had gotten used to him saying such things to me and had finally given in to accepting them. Instead of saying anything, I kissed him on the cheek and squeezed him a bit harder before letting him go.

"Would you like some coffee?"

"Absolutely. And pie too."

"Esme baked an apple yesterday. I'll get you a slice." Edward clapped and rubbed his hands together and started making his way to a stool at the counter.

I got him what he wanted as well as a vase to put my flowers in. When I got back to the counter, Edward already had a fork in his hand. I had to laugh at his eagerness to get to his pie. We chatted for a few minutes while I worked and he ate.

"So six o'clock tonight?"

"Yeah. I have no idea what my dad is planning for dinner but he said he wasn't cooking."

"I think it's nice that Charlie wants to do this for you. And I'm glad that you invited me. I wouldn't miss it." He half said with his mouth full. Typical boy.

"What time are you done today?"

"My last patient is scheduled for three but it's Mrs. Stanley and you know how that goes." Mrs. Stanley was Jessica's mother. She loved Edward and used his new status as town doctor to see him as much as possible. Edward would never reveal what she would come in for, but with the amount of appointments she made you would think that she was falling apart. I saw her at the grocery store last week. The only thing that was falling were her extremely large surgery enhanced breasts.

"So four if you're lucky?"

"If I'm lucky. I'm going to go home and shower and then I'll be over after that." He had finished his pie and coffee and was wiping his mouth with his napkin. I packed him up another coffee in a top-go cup and set it on the counter. He reached over to kiss me good-bye.

"I guess I'll see you then."

"If not sooner." He smirked a little and then winked at me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I was suspicious.

"Don't you worry about it, birthday girl." And then turned his back on me and headed for the door. He pushed it open a little and looked over his shoulder to where I was gaping, trying to figure out what he had up his sleeve. "Love you." All at once I stopped trying to unravel the schemes he may or may not have planned.

_Remember…you agreed to enjoy them._

"Love you, too." He winked again and left the diner for the office across the way. I sighed at how true those words were and took a moment to thank my lucky stars for Edward in my life. With another sigh, I headed into the back to finish up what I needed to before the rest of the staff arrived.

I hadn't gotten very much done when I heard the ringing of the bell signaling that someone had come in. It was still too early for any of the cooks to be here. Edward must have left his coffee…again. For some reason, he did that at least once a week. He would never come right out and say it, but I had a feeling it was an excuse to come back in and sneak in another kiss. I teased him about it whenever it happened, but secretly I loved that he went through the effort to see me again. I grabbed a stack of plates and headed out front.

"Did you forget something, sweetie…?" I said in a sing song voice. I was expecting to see love and warmth radiating from familiar green eyes, but instead was met with scary ice blue. I stopped in my tracks and drop the stack of plates. They made a horrible sound as they came crashing to the ground but it wasn't enough to jump start my heart.

"I haven't forgotten anything, Isabella." His eyes tightened with rage. "Not. A. Thing."

I was unable to move, unable to speak. When it was obvious I was frozen in fear, a sinister smile formed on his face.

"Happy birthday…babe."

And then he slowly reached up and turned the lock on the door. I was in some serious shit.

**A lot of you called this. You guys are so smart! I hope I was able to do it in a way that surprised you at least a little bit. Next chapter should be up within the week!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Happy 4****th**** of July all my American friends! Be safe this weekend!**

**Warning: This chapter has a great deal of violence in it. If you don't feel comfortable reading, don't. I will be happy to give anyone a basic summary of the chapter without the violence. Just PM me.**

**TD69 – this one's for you!**

**AN: I don't own Twilight.**

**Chapter 20**

**Fighting Evil**

"_A brave man is a man who dares to look the Devil in the face and tell him__ he is a Devil."_

_~James A. Garfield_

**BPOV**

"Happy Birthday…babe."

My blood ran cold as that word was spat at me forcefully from his lips. The shock of seeing him had rooted me firmly to the ground. He was the same James, but gone was the well-dressed, educated professional. The man in front of me was disheveled. He looked like he hadn't showered in days. His clothes were dirty and his appearance was one you would see on the streets of a city begging for change. Something had happened after the hearing. I wasn't sure what, but I'm pretty sure he blamed me for it.

"What? After all this time you can't even say hello to your husband, Isabella?" Rage danced in his eyes and it was clear he was trying to keep it at bay, at least for now.

I didn't answer him but kept my eyes focused on his every move. As he glared back, I racked my brain to figure out how I could get out of there. He was blocking the front door so that was out, but he probably didn't know there was another door that lead to the back of the building. All I needed to do was make it about ten steps to the storage room and lock myself in. Then I could leave through the back door and run over to Edward's office to call the police before he found out I wasn't in the diner any longer. If I could just get to the storage room, it would work.

_Please, please God, let it work._

Without taking my eyes off of James I took a small side step towards the room. The less distance I had to make a run for, the better the chance I would make it. Unfortunately, James noticed my movement.

"Uh, uh, uhhh…" He brought his hand up that had been slightly behind him. I felt the color in my face drain as the light from above reflected off the silver barrel of a hand gun that he pointed directly at me. There was no way I was making it to the storage room before….before…

_Don't fucking think that way, Bella_.

Without taking his aim off of me, James slowly walked around the counter. His one hand wrapped tightly around my upper arm and the other rested the end of the gun against the back of my neck. It was really hard to stay calm and rational but I knew I wasn't going to make it out of here unless I could keep it together. I needed a Plan B, but first I had to find out what he was planning to do.

"Wh-what do you want, James?"

"Well, isn't that a _loaded_ question?" I tried to ignore the way he increased the pressure of the gun while he said the word 'loaded' but truth be known, it freaked me the fuck out.

_Options, Bella. What are your options? Thiiiink._

"I want a lot of things, Isabella, but we'll get to that later. Right now I want to talk about you." He looks around. "You really have made quite the life for yourself out here in the middle of fucking nowhere. Haven't you?" I didn't answer but did try to discreetly take in my surroundings.

_Weapon, weapon, weapon…what can I use for a weapon?_

"New job, new friends, new father, new…_boyfriend_." I'm sure my eyes gave away the moment of panic that assaulted me. He knew about Edward. Fuck, I did not want him dragged into this. "Yeah, Isabella, I know all about him. I've been watching you two. I can tell by the shit eating grin on his face that you've already fucked him, but that doesn't surprise me. You play the sweet, innocent little girl, but we both know the truth, don't we? You always were nothing but a goddamn whore." His insults had always stung me but I paid no attention to his words. I had bigger things to worry about. Because of me, Edward and Charlie for that matter were in danger.

_Charlie…police…I could call the police._

All of a sudden the cell phone that I carried in my apron pocket weighed heavily upon my thigh. Even if I could reach for it without James knowing, I would have to blindly dial. It would be a crap shoot at best. I let out a small breath of frustration. I needed…something. But first I needed to keep James talking.

"This has nothing to do with him, James. Please, this is between you and me." I took another quick glance around, trying to figure out what I could do to get out of this. When my eyes landed on the register, a spark of remembrance came to me.

_The emergency button under the counter…the one that alerts the police if there is a robbery…fuck yes!_

When I was being trained, Esme had told me about the button she had never had to use nor thought she would ever have to use. Carlisle had insisted it be installed 'just in case' and I was so fucking grateful to him right now. All I had to do was somehow move about four or five steps forward and push it.

"You don't think I know that? He's nothing, not even worth the fucking bullet I want to put in his brain for sticking his dick where it doesn't belong." I couldn't even respond to that so just stayed silent. He was getting angrier by the minute and I knew I had to find away to get to that button soon.

"Well it doesn't fucking matter. We're getting out of here." So that was the plan. He was taking me with him.

_Not fucking happening._

"Where are we going? Back to Chicago?" There was no way I was going to allow myself to go anywhere with him. If I did, I was as good as dead. But I needed to keep him talking.

"Didn't you hear, Isabella? I have nothing left in Chicago. Garrett fucking fired me after he found out about your little accusations. You ruined my career and my reputation. I have nothing because of you." The thread of restraint that he had held on to snapped. He forcefully pushed me forward until I hit the counter and brought my head down hard onto the solid surface. He held me there and continued to blame me for everything. I closed my eyes to shut him out and focused on one thing. That button.

James didn't know it, but he had inadvertently held me close to it. All I had to do was feel around underneath the counter and…

_Bingo._

I physically relaxed as a wave of hope washed through my body. I tuned back into James who was extremely irritated that I wasn't responding to him.

"I told you to fucking answer me." I didn't even know the question but it looked like he wasn't going to give me another chance to answer. I was limp like a rag doll as he pulled me up and spun me around to face him. He took a moment to look at me but I wouldn't give him anything. I refused to show him any emotion and that just pissed him off further. My face exploded as he struck me across it with the gun. I could feel the blood dripping down the side of my face. Pain radiated from my eye socket down to my jaw. Despite wanting to scream out in agony, I kept it in. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Instead, I said the two words that I had wanted to say to him for years.

"Fuck you."

At first I could see the overpowering anger bubble up inside him. His face turned red and his eyes became murderous. But then an eerie calm settled over him and he began to smirk.

"You know what? I. Think. I. Will." At first I wasn't sure what he was talking about. My head was still a little unclear from the blow I had just taken. However, as he moved his hand to his crotch and I heard the jingle of his belt buckle, fear hit me like a truck.

_He's going to rape me._

James had held a gun to me, threatened to kidnap me, and beat me. The entire time I was able to stay somewhat calm and take it so that I could figure a way out of this mess. But all that rational thought went out the window when I realized what James was intending to do. Edward's face flashed in my mind and an instantly I felt a devastating need to defend myself at whatever cost.

_Don't let him do this. Fight him. Fight. Him. _

James put the gun down on the counter out of my reach and then returned to unbuttoning his pants. I took the opportunity and started hitting and kicking the shit out of him. I wasn't making any real damage but it was enough that it caught James off guard. I used both of my hands to scratch his neck, his face, whatever I could get. The whole time I was screaming at him not to touch me. I wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop. I was running off pure adrenaline and fury. I didn't even recognize myself. He tried to put his hand over my mouth except he didn't get it quite over the whole thing. I opened my mouth and bit down on him hard.

"You fucking bitch." He screamed as he pulled his hand back involuntarily. It was bleeding and I was pretty sure by the angle that I had broken at least one finger. I took advantage of the space between us and brought my foot up to kick him square in the chest. He stumbled back and I tried to hop over the counter but he was too quick. I had only made it half way over when James grabbed my hair and pulled me backwards causing a burning pain to spread out all over my head. I didn't make it easy for him as I continued to kick, scratch, and slap him. He twisted me around by my hair and pushed me back into the wall opposite of the lunch counter. I closed my eyes but felt the cold metal being dragged down the side of my face. When I opened them, I could see that he had gotten his gun back and now his finger was on the trigger. I halted my movements and tried to regulate my breathing.

"I have told you before, Isabella. I won't live with out you and I sure as hell won't let _you_ live without _me_. You try to run from me again and you will regret it." He tightened his grip on my hair and pressed the gun harder into my face. I had no doubt he was serious.

The sound of sirens startled both of us. He gave my head another shove into the wall. He continued to hold me to the wall but focused his gaze on the scene outside.

"What the fuck?" He looked from the window to me. "What did you do?"

I didn't answer but my eyes inadvertently went to the cash register. Immediately, James let me go and walked over to it. After a few seconds of searching, his fingers came in contact with the button I had pushed not even ten minutes before. He looked at me in shock, like he couldn't believe I would betray him like that, and then looked out the window at the four police cars that were outside and surrounding the entrance.

He closed his eyes and brought his hand up to his hair. I could tell he was doing some serious thinking by the way he breathed. When he was finished, he opened his eyes again and I could see defeat swimming in them. He knew getting out of here with me was no longer an option. In those few moments, he had formulated a new plan and I could tell by the way he looked at me what it was.

_I was not getting out of here alive. James was going to kill me._

In two steps he was back over to me and had me in a choke hold, the gun was pointed at my temple. "I am very disappointed in you, Isabella. We could have done this the easy way. You could have just left with me and that would have been that. But now…now because of what you have done, people are going to get hurt. And you'll take your last breath knowing it was all your fault."

Another, much heavier sense of dread fell upon me. He was right. If I let this happen, it would be my fault. I couldn't let this happen, even if it meant I had to die in the process. I had to take a stand and it had to be right now. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to clear my mind. I thought of the kindness Esme and Carlisle had shown me ever since I had arrived in Forks. I thought the true friends I had gained in Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie. I thought of Edward, wonderful Edward, the man who taught me how to love again. I thought of Charlie, the loving father I had always had but was just getting to know. I thought of my mom and dad and how happy they would be with my new life. These were all the people who mattered to me and I let their love and support fill me and make me strong.

When I reopened my eyes, I felt…invincible.

My foot crushing his took him completely off guard. I took advantage and elbowed him so hard that I'm pretty sure I cracked a rib. All the air left his body and caused him to let go as he tried to reach for his side. I spun around and rammed my palm into his nose causing blood to spew everywhere. I could feel it land on my clothes and trickle down my face. Normally, that would be enough to stop me dead, but not this time. This time, I was not stopping until I had finished what I had started.

"You motherfucker." I yelled as I brought my knee so far up into his groin I expected his balls to come out his asshole. He fell to the ground, dropping the gun simultaneously. For added measure, the coffee maker was within reaching distance and the pot I had made earlier was too tempting. I picked it up and smashed it on top of his head. He shrieked as the hot liquid burned his face and the glass cut into his skin.

I threw the handle of the coffee pot on the ground and wobbled a little bit on my feet. I had nothing left and that was okay. He was stunned, debilitated, and rolling around on the floor in pain, but I wasn't stupid. He wouldn't stay down forever and the crushing desperation to get the fuck out of there descended upon me. I hopped over the counter and ran for the exit. After turning the lock, I flung the door open, tripped, and fell to my hands and knees just outside. There was a lot of commotion. People were yelling all around me, but one voice, the sweetest voice, came through as clear as day.

"Bella! Bella!" I looked up and scanned the crowd until I found what I was looking for. There was a frantic looking Edward being held back by a police officer. He was there and was trying to get to me but couldn't. Seeing his futile efforts made my need to get to him consume me. I got to my feet and started to run as fast as I could towards him.

I was getting closer and closer. Months of running had helped me for this very moment. My stride was fluid and my pace was quick. I was more than half way there when I felt myself beginning to slow down. I tried to go faster but found it incredibly difficult. Everything went into slow motion as I focused on Edward's face. He was yelling to me but I couldn't hear him. His expression was horrified and I scowled in confusion. Deafening noises rang out from all around me but it didn't phase me. I had to get to Edward. He was there and I needed him but the faster I tried to run, the slower I got. My feet became heavy and breathing became difficult. Edward pushed and fought against the officer until he broke free. He closed the distance between us and I had never felt so thankful in my life. I was tired. I just couldn't run anymore.

"Bella." He stopped short just a couple of feet from me. His eyes raked over my body and I knew that look. I had seen it one other time, when Emmett almost hit me with the car.

_Why isn't he taking me in his arms?_

His eyes filled with pain as they deflected from my face down to the middle of my body. I slowly looked down to see what he was seeing. My shirt was soaked in red. I touched it with my hand. It felt warm…and wet. My hand was covered in the same red as I pulled it away from my stomach.

"Edward….what…why…" I whispered. Talking was difficult and I could not seem to form a sentence.

The world began to spin right out from under me. My knees shook and I felt myself starting to fade. The darkness was coming.

I didn't have the energy to fight it. I gave in and succumbed knowing Edward would be there to catch me when I fell.

**I know, I know…how could I leave it there? Feel free to let me know how much you hate me right now. Thanks for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you for not crucifying me over last chapter's cliffie. You guys are all awesome. I'm way behind on my replies but I will get to them, I promise. In the meantime…a new chapter. Enjoy!**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 21**

**Second Chances**

"_Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win".  
~Bernadette Devlin_

**BPOV**

Familiar. It was the word that I would use to describe my surroundings, yet I still didn't know exactly where I was. The sun was bright, so very bright. Even with my hands shading my eyes, I struggled against it as I searched for something, anything that would help me remember. The action itself helped me as I recalled doing it once before. The yellow and purple wildflowers confirmed it.

I was in the meadow.

I looked down to see if…

_Yup, white nightgown. _

A surge of joy welled up in my heart. Dream or not, the meadow was the place I had seen my parents. I scanned the area, fighting the glare of the sun. Straining my eyes until I couldn't take the blinding light anymore, I finally had to give in and close them for a moment.

_Where are you Mom and Dad?_

As the thought left my mind, I opened my eyes to resume my search. It startled me a little when two people I was looking for appeared not even five steps in front of me.

_How did they get here so fast?_

"Mom, Dad! You're here!" I flung myself into my mother's arms and sighed when I felt my father's hand stroking the back of my hair. The smell of home assaulted my nose and brought tears to my eyes. "I've missed you so much."

"Shhh, Isabella." I didn't hold back the sobs that erupted from me. It had been so long since I had seen them. I didn't care if I was a blubbering mess. "We have missed you too, baby girl, so much." I stayed in there arms for what seemed like an eternity before my crying subsided.

"So much has happened. I want to tell you everything. I left him, Mom. I took everything you gave me and I ran away from him. And then I met Charlie. I wanted to be so mad at you for keeping him from me but I couldn't, I just couldn't. And then met Esme and she gave me a job at the diner. I got divorced and started school again. And Edward…Edward. I met Edward and…and he's the one, Mom. You would love him." I wasn't making any sense as I tried to cram everything that had happened in the last few months into a couple of sentences. The desperation to tell them apparently overruled my ability to communicate. My mother took my face in her hands and looked into my eyes effectively ending my ramble.

"Hey…it's okay. We know all about it. We've been watching, Isabella, and you've come so far. We are so very proud of you." We hugged again except this time without tears. I just tried to enjoy the moment because I wasn't sure just how long it would last. Once the shock of seeing them had worn off, I was just confused. I knew in reality my parents were dead. I had only seen them after the accident that one time and I remember it so clearly. Looking back, what they had said had been so telling of what was to come. Was this the same or was I just dreaming.

"Why are you here? Why am I here?"

"Well, you needed us. We're always here when you need us." That just puzzled me even more because there were many times in the last few months when my overwhelming need to see them had almost crushed me. They hadn't come to me once during those times.

"I need you all the time. Why now?" My mother didn't say anything. She just slowly pointed behind me. When I turned around I was no longer in the peaceful meadow. I was in the emergency room. Doctors and nurses were running around like you see on all of those television shows. They were working frantically to save the person on the gurney. There were tubes and beeping machines and surgical instruments, and blood…so much blood.

_Who was that? What happened to them?_

I could see legs, but because they were all hovered over the person I couldn't make out who it was. Curious, I moved a couple of steps and what I saw hit me hard.

_It's…me…_

I looked to my parents for answers. "What happened? Why….?"

"James." One word brought it all back. James showing up at the diner, his plan to take me with him, the gun, the button alerting the police, using my self defense moves to escape. I remembered every second of it. But I had escaped, hadn't I? I remember running…running to Edward. I had been so close but…

Suddenly, I could feel fear exploding from my chest and seeping to every part of my body.

"What…how…I got away…" My mother took both of my hands and hers. Just have her touch me made everything just a little more bearable. I started to feel myself calming down.

"He shot you, honey, while you were running across the parking lot. The doctors are doing everything they can but they need you to help them. The need you to fight."

"Is that why you're here? To get me to fight harder for my life?" I had been fighting for my life every minute since I left James. I was so tired. So fucking tired of fighting.

"Of course it is. You have worked so hard for a second chance to have the life that you deserve. You need to pull through."

"I just don't have the energy to fight anymore. I don't think I can do it, Mom. Can't I just go with you? I want to be with you and dad. I miss you guys so much." I started crying again and lunged at my mother wrapping my arms tightly around her. I needed her embrace but I also wanted to keep her from going anywhere. She wouldn't leave me, right?

"Yes, you can, Isabella. You have been fighting to make a new life for yourself for so long. You can't just throw it away now. And besides, this is not just about _your_ second chance." I pulled away from her a little and looked at both her and then my father.

"It's not? I don't understand." My mother and father smiled sadly at me.

"What about _his_ second chance?" I followed my mother's finger to where she pointed to a man was standing in the corner of the room behind me. Two parts of him were battling with each other. His eyes stayed focus on me needing to see what was happening while his body plastered itself against the wall trying to get as far away as possible. He was wringing his hands together as tears streamed down his face. I couldn't stop staring at him.

_Charlie._

"The day he found out who you were was the happiest day of his life. He thanked God for bringing his daughter back into his life. He just got you back and is scared to death that he is watching _his_ second chance disappear right before his eyes. He needs you, Isabella." I continued to watch him. His pain was evident and I hated that I was the cause. Phil cleared his throat.

"He's a good man, Izzytizzy. I was so lucky to have you for so long. It's his turn. I have your past, but he deserves your future." I broke my gaze away from Charlie so that I could hug Phil. He truly had been a fantastic father and it warmed my heart to hear him speak of Charlie that way. If things had been different, I think the two of them would have gotten along. I looked up and smiled at him until my mother's voice distracted me.

"And what about her?" With a blink of the eyes we weren't in the room anymore. It looked like we were in the hallway right outside. Carlisle was comforting a hysterical Esme. "She is blaming herself for what happened to you…" I cut my mother off.

"That's just ridiculous. It's not her fault." I stated with conviction.

"That may be, but she is berating herself for allowing you to open the diner alone. She needs you to survive this so she can have a second chance to make things right. Otherwise the guilt will consumer her and eat her alive for as long as she's alive." The thought of Esme blaming herself for what James had done to me made me sick to my stomach.

_It would be so unfair._

"And them?" My father pointed to a waiting area where Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett were comforting each other. "They truly love you. Don't they deserve a second chance to be your friend?" I thought about how much I loved them too. They had so willingly and unconditionally given me the gift of their friendship.

_Could I really just give that up so easily? What did that say about me as a friend?_

By this time I was getting my mother's point, that this wasn't just about me. But she wasn't done, not just yet. She walked towards the end of the hallway. There were big windows overlooking the parking lot and I could see the shadow of a man, sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. I didn't want to follow because I knew who it was and I didn't think I could bear it. But my feet moved on their own accord and before I knew it, I right next to the broken man that I loved with my whole heart.

"Right now, Isabella, that boy is praying for a second chance. The thought of life without you is destroying him and believe me, he will never fully recover if he loses you." Her words struck at me. If I gave up, I would be the reason for Edward's pain. My heart began to hurt and I felt like I couldn't breath. The thought of never being with Edward again was absolutely unbearable. Edward's pain became my own and it was excruciating.

_How could I even think about doing that to him?_

My mother again put both of my hands in hers and once again it made me feel better. She began to speak softly.

"You have gone through so much to get to where you are right now. I knew all you needed was just a little bit of help and you could get away from that asshole and make a new life for yourself. You have so much to live for, baby girl. These wonderful people, they are your family now and they need you just as much as you need them. Your second chance at life has irrevocably changed their lives. Fight for _them_. Fight for _you_, baby."

Her words filled me up with strength and I knew what I had to do. As much as I missed my parents, I didn't want to be with them, not really. I wanted to be with my new family. I wanted to continue living the life I had made for myself.

"I'm going to miss you, so much." The tears started again as I hugged them both. "Will I see you again?"

"See us? Probably not for a long, long time, but that doesn't mean we won't be with you, baby girl. Your dad and I love you so very much. We'll never be too far away." We hugged again and I committed the brief moment in my mind to carry with me forever. I didn't want to forget.

"Okay, it's time kiddo. Are you ready to go for it?" I had to chuckle as my dad used his best baseball coach voice. Some things never change.

"I am. Wish me luck."

"Not necessary, baby girl. This is all you."

And then they were gone.

o~o~O~o~o

Darkness was all around me. I didn't like it but didn't know what to do to change it.

Pain.

Piercing, sharp pain. Everywhere. Except for one place. A tingling in what I thought was my hand. It was warm, it was comforting. I squeezed in an attempt to intensify the feeling.

Then warmth on my face. Not constant. A steady pattern. In, out, in, out.

"Bella? Bella? Come on sweetheart, open those beautiful eyes for me." That voice. I love that voice.

I wanted to as I would do anything for that voice. I struggled against the darkness and slowly my eyes began to cooperate. When I finally got them all the way open I was rewarded by fields of deep green looking back at me.

_Edward…_

"Oh Blossom. Thank God. You've come back to me." Seeing his whole body sag relief made me realize something.

We all deserve a second chance.

**I hoped you liked this chapter. I know this is short, but it's a good place to stop. There will be one more chapter before the epilogue and I hope to have them both out within the next week or so. Leave me some love! **

**~Isannah**


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay, this is it…the last official chapter. I hope you like how it ends.**

**AN: I do not own Twilight.**

**Chapter 22**

**Happiness**

"_Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.__"_

_~Storm Jameson_

**BPOV**

_**Two years later…**_

"Jonathan Matthew Smith…"

_Breathe, Bella. There is absolutely nothing to be nervous about._

"Amanda Catherine Solinger…"

_Nothing at all. Ughh…It's like a thousand degrees in here. Why is it so fucking hot? _

"Deborah Rose Summers…"

_Oh my god, oh my god. I'm next. Stop freaking out._

"Bella Marie Swan…"

_Please don't trip. Please don't fucking trip._

Very cautiously, I placed one foot in front of the other and climbed the stairs to accept what I had been working towards for the past two years.

My diploma.

As I made my way across the stage and shook hand with the dean as he handed me the cover that would eventually hold that sacred piece of paper in two to three weeks, I made a sideways glance to the commotion that was going on a few rows from the front.

They were all here.

Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper, Edward, and Charlie. My family.

I had to beg, borrow, and steal to get four extra tickets to attend the ceremony but they were all here. In a very loud way.

_What at bunch of wackadoodles!_

The cheers, clapping, whistling, and catcalls coming from where they sat were all for me and I couldn't have been happier. Sure, they may have made a small scene and normally I would be embarrassed at all of the attention it put on me, but not today. Today my family was as excited as I was and just couldn't contain it any longer.

_Who am I to try and stop them?_

I took a moment to smile at them and show my appreciation for their boisterous support. This day had been a very long time coming and they had all been there with me every step of the way.

The incident with James had been a pretty big set back. It wasn't until I had been conscious and stable for a few days before anyone would tell me what actually happened. After throwing many tantrums Edward had finally told me everything that had happened after I escaped from the diner.

I had disabled James long enough to get away. Emmett had been so proud of my kick ass self-defense skills. But I had made the mistake of not taking the gun or at least kicking it under the stove or somewhere else completely out of reach. After recovering pretty quickly, James grabbed the gun and followed me out of the diner. Four officers reported to the scene after I had tripped the alarm. Charlie was only there because he heard it on the scanner as he ate his cornflakes. Needless to say he high tailed it over there knowing that I was involved. Edward ran over when he saw the police cars storm the parking lot and surround the front entrance. He later said he had never been so scared in his entire life.

No one had any clue as to what was going on inside. They only knew that I had pushed that emergency button. They discussed the possibilities as they waited for something, anything to happen. When I finally emerged from the diner and fell to my hands and knees, everyone drew their weapons and started yelling, but didn't approach me. I began to run knowing what was coming for me but I didn't have enough time. I was about half way to Edward when James emerged from the diner and fired his gun. Everyone's focus immediately shifted to him, except for Edward. His eyes were only on me and he knew I had been hit even as the adrenaline pushed my body to continue.

The police thought it was a robbery. They yelled at him to put down his weapon and when he didn't they fired at him in attempt to disarm him. With the exception of one.

Charlie was the only one who had ever seen James before. He knew exactly who he was when he fired at him.

When it was over, James had been shot five times. Two in the leg, one in the arm, one in the shoulder, and one in the forehead. It had been that one that had killed him. As in all situations like this, the state sent an investigation team to assess the actions of the police and determine whether they acted in accordance to their authority. Once it became known that James was there specifically for me and that he had certainly tried to kill me, all of the officers claimed that it was they who fired the fatal shot. The investigators tried to bully them into backing down, but no one budged. They knew they were protecting one of their own, but without anyone willing to cooperate and all of the evidence proving that James was homicidal, they didn't have a case. They finally packed up their shit and returned to wherever the hell they came from.

Later, when I asked Charlie if he had shot James with the intent to kill him, he just replied that he did what he had to do. The look in his eyes told me everything. Charlie, my _father_, went against his training, his experience, and everything he believed in to ensure that I would never have to deal with James again. He was willing to make life changing sacrifices…for me. To be honest, knowing that I could have cost Charlie the job he loved and maybe more was a little overwhelming. I'm glad it didn't come to that.

It turned out that since our divorce was final, James began to spiral out of control. Rumors about how he had been made a fool of by Judge O'Donnell quickly made their way around the law community. He became paranoid and suspicious of everyone. His work became erratic and he made mistakes. Finally, Garrett fired him. When he brought him in to his office to let him go, the innocent secretary that just happened to be delivering the cup of coffee Garrett requested became James' next victim. In a fit of rage, he grabbed her and put her in a choke hold, swearing on his life that he would snap her neck if Garrett didn't reinstate him. After several minutes of heated exchange, someone entered the office and Garrett quickly told him to go and call security. Knowing he was in trouble, James shoved the secretary into Garrett and bolted. No one had seen him since. The police were looking for him, but they had not been able to find him. It turns out he had left the state.

_Go figure._

My injuries had been complicated. The bullet from James' gun had nicked my liver and penetrated my spleen. I had lost a lot of blood, but I would have lost a lot more if it hadn't been for Edward. Charlie told me after I had woken up that as soon as I lost consciousness Edward had gone into doctor mode. He knew what the do and was able to somewhat control the bleeding until paramedics arrived.

_He undoubtedly saved my life_.

Unfortunately, Edward didn't see it that way. I had spent over four hours on the operating table and with every passing second the guilt he felt increased tenfold. He blamed himself for leaving me there alone, for not telling me to lock the diner door behind him, for not getting to me before James shot me. It had taken me days to undo the damage he had inflicted upon himself. His self-loathing was frustrating, but I wasn't about to let him take any blame for this. There was only one person to blame and he was dead. Getting Edward to see that was hard, but I think he finally did. I know a part of him still blames himself, but he knows that if he were to acknowledge it I would cut his balls off.

_Figuratively, not literally. Let's face it, I love his balls. I would never cut them off._

I spent two weeks in the hospital. Unfortunately, I had to withdraw from my two classes. The doctors were adamant that I take my recovery seriously and that meant no added stress, no overexertion, and no driving for eight to ten weeks. The college had been so understanding and refunded me the entire cost of the two classes even though at that point they didn't have to. I was disappointed, but understood I needed to get better before I could truly put an honest effort into my studies. Two days after I got home from the hospital, I received the acceptance packet for my admission into the education program. As of the spring semester I would be a matriculated student working towards a degree I wanted. It gave me something to look forward to.

For the next two years, I worked my ass off. The lingering effects from my injuries continued into that first semester. I got so fucking tired so easily, but I tried not to let it stop me. And let's face it; a lot of people had my back. Esme made my hours at the diner completely flexible. If I felt up to working, I worked. If I didn't, I was expected not to come in. If I got there and looked exhausted, Esme sent me home. I wasn't allowed to protest. Rosalie had rearranged her hours at the teen center so that she could drive me to Port Angeles three days a week. She always apologized that she couldn't drive me all five days, but I consistently cut her off. Just having a ride to and from three days a week took a lot off stress and fatigue off my body. Alice and Jasper were constantly calling, sending notes, encouraging me every step of the way. Even Charlie helped me. If I was too tired to do the required reading, he would read it to me. It allowed me to just take notes as he read.

Edward was probably the most supportive of all. He kept me sane, he kept me grounded, and he kept me healthy. He was always assessing my well-being, making sure I wasn't running my self too ragged. When I looked tired, he insisted that we nap. When I looked pale, he insisted that I eat. And when I looked stressed, he insisted that he relieve some of my tension.

_And damn, he was so good at it._

Once my doctor cleared me for physical activity, Edward wasted no time giving me the orgasm of my life. In my limpiness afterwards, I mumbled something about not remembering it being quite like that. Edward then admitted that he had spent weeks researching how to give the perfect orgasm and that he learned a lot from Google.

_He sure as fuck did._

Anytime I looked stressed, Edward pulled out his mad orgasm inducing skills.

_Have I told you how much I love this man? _

As time went on, I got stronger and within the year I had completely recovered. I had done well that first semester and even took a couple of summer courses. I was even able to work at the diner more. My case against James' estate also came to a close that summer.

I didn't want to do it. I wanted nothing from him. Unfortunately I didn't have a choice. Once the divorce was final, so was my health insurance. I literally owed thousands of dollars in medical bills. Just thinking about it had been the cause of several panic attacks. Sam came to my rescue and sued James' estate on my behalf. It actually was easier than I thought it would be. James' parents had both died a long time ago and he had no siblings. There was no one to claim it. After Sam had laid out my horrible story from beginning to end, the judge decided to award me everything. I had no idea what that meant until Sam explained it to me.

I think my exact words were 'holy fucking shit.' Apparently, there were a lot of things that James had kept me in the dark about, especially the finances. It turns out _everything_ was enough to pay my medical bills, my tuition, and then some. Between the car, his savings, a life insurance policy I had no idea about, and all of his auctioned-off possessions, James had been a very wealthy man. It was hard for me to accept it, but everyone convinced me that this was the very least that was owed to me. I had suffered and sacrificed so much. I couldn't disagree with them on that so I decided to just take the money and use it to get myself out of debt and pay for my degree, but that was it. The day I wrote out the check for my last semester, I also wrote one out for Rosalie's teen center for the balance of what was left of James' money. I felt I had been compensated for what I had gone through and on that day, I was officially done with it. I was done with _him_, for good. It felt liberating.

Now don't get me wrong, I didn't just give up my financial security. Earlier that spring I had received a check for the sale of my parents' house in Florida. I was hoping I would get a job as soon as I graduated, but if I didn't, I had a cushion. A very nice cushion.

"Brandon Alexander Swanson…" The announcing of the classmate I had sat next to all morning brought me out of my reminiscing. It was my cue to in essence, get the fuck off the stage. I made my way down the stairs and returned to my seat, the cheers not ending until I sat down.

At the conclusion of the ceremony, I raced to find my loved ones in the thick crowd. It was absolutely impossible and I leaned against a wall about ready to give up.

"Bella my Fella! There you are!" Looking up I saw Emmett's huge hulking form making its way over to me with the rest of the family trailing behind. He was coming on pretty fast and I braced myself for what I was sure to come.

"Congratulations!" Emmett scooped me up and began to swing me around, ignoring the annoyance of the people nearby.

"Thanks, Em." I hugged him back with as much strength as I could muster.

"Okay, Emmett. You have picked her up, now put her down." Rosalie pulled him off of me and then gave me her own hug. "You looked great up there, chicky." I gave her a teary smile that she understood.

"Absolutely! You totally rocked the bright yellow gown." Alice had made her displeasure of the cap and gown color known long ago. She said it was totally wrong for me given my complexion and that she had no idea what color dress I should wear under it. When changing the school colors was eliminated as an option, she huffed a lot but was able to find me a navy blue wrap dress that was perfect.

"I do make this shit look good, huh?" I started striking different modeling poses only to have her put up her hands to stop me.

"Okay, I lied. No one can rock a bright yellow gown. I'm sorry I lied, just please…take it off. Jasper, make her take it off."

"No way, cookie. She's earned that ugly yellow robe." Jasper, the voice of reason, kissed me on the cheek before turning to comfort a distraught Alice.

"And she can't take it off just yet. We have to take pictures." That was Esme. She had brought her camera and was determined to make sure that this event was well documented. "Congratulations, sweetheart." Both she and Carlisle proceeded to give me hugs.

"We're so proud of you." Carlisle said as he gave me a kiss on the head.

"Thank you so much for being here." I looked around until I found the eyes I needed to see. I practically ran to Charlie and barreled into him with a hug. His arms wrapped around me and held me tight.

"Bells…." He didn't say anything else and when I pulled away to see what was wrong, I knew why. Charlie was choked up with emotion. This was a big day for him too.

"I know, Dad, I know." I smiled at him and then attacked him again with another bone-crushing hug. We stood like that for a moment and then he whispered in my ear.

"I would love to continue this for the next few hours, but there is someone that I think is going to burst if I don't let you go." I looked up into Charlie's eyes and he nodded. Then, turning my head, I saw the one person that had my heart in his hand.

_Edward…_

Charlie let me go so I could fall into Edward's embrace. He stroked my back and whispered the most beautiful, loving things to me.

"_I knew you could do it…"_

"_You inspire me…"_

"_I love you, so much…"_

I couldn't keep the tears at bay anymore. I wanted to get down on my knees and thank God personally for bringing this man to me. He was my match in every way and I was so lucky to have him.

"I love you, too, Edward. With everything that I am." I said low enough so only he heard. He gave me an appropriate for public kiss with a promise to be completely inappropriate later. I smiled at him in a way that told him I couldn't fucking wait.

"Okay, kids. Let's go eat." Charlie had made reservations for a restaurant in Port Angeles for everyone, his treat. I tried to protest but he would hear nothing of it.

"Thank God, I'm starving." Emmett bellowed and we all laughed. It set the tone for the afternoon. We ate, we drank, we laughed, and we enjoyed each other. The day had been perfect so far but in the back of my mind I knew it was going to get even more perfect.

"Are you ready to go home, Blossom?" Edward leaned and whispered into my ears.

Home. Our home.

That's right. _Our home_. A couple of months ago, I made it to Edward's for one of our weekly dinners only to be met with a pacing, anxious, jittery boyfriend. He dropped things as he tried to get dinner together, he chuckled nervously at everything, and kept giving me side glances all the way through dinner. He was really freaking me the fuck out. After missing eye contact with him for about the fiftieth time, I finally dropped my fork and demanded him to tell me what was going on. He sighed, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a velvet jewelry box.

My freak out hit an all new level. I just stared at the box, unable to breath, thinking that there was no way I was ready for _that_. Edward noticed my anxiety right away.

"It's not what you think. I promise. I know that we're not there yet. Just open it…please?" Letting out a breath of relief, my shaking hand took the box and slowly opened it. Inside was a key. I looked up to him in confusion.

"I love you, Blossom and I want you here all the time. I want you to be the last thing I see before I close my eyes at night first when they open the next morning. Please…please move in with me."

"I…I don't know what to say." And I really didn't. This was unexpected. We had been together for two wonderful years and even though I couldn't see my future with anyone except Edward, I hadn't thought about taking the next step.

Apparently he had.

"Say yes, Bella. We already spend a few nights a week together already. You are going to be graduating soon and I want to move forward with you. When I talked to Charlie about it…" I cut him off right there.

"You talked to Charlie about this?" I wasn't sure how I felt about that. My relationship with Charlie had grown so much in the last two years. I enjoyed living with him and I know he enjoyed having me there. The thought of Edward approaching him about me leaving before he even talked to me about it didn't quite sit well. First, I didn't want Charlie to be hurt and second I didn't want anyone, even the most two important people in my life, making decisions about my future without getting a say.

_Been there, done that, sure as fuck not doing it again._

Edward sensed my tone and started to explain. "I only asked his permission to ask you. Out of respect I wanted to let him know of my intentions when it came to you. I just…I just want to have you close to me, permanently. If you don't want to or if you're not ready, then we won't do anything right now. It's entirely your decision." I felt bad that he had to defend himself for wanting me to move in with him.

"And Charlie was okay with you asking?" Edward began to chuckle.

"Yeah, he was okay with it. In fact, he told me that he thought we would have moved in together sooner."

_Huh?_

Moving in with Edward…what would that be like? I pictured in my mind cozy evenings on the couch, working together on a Saturday morning to straighten our place up, inviting our friends and family for dinner, endless nights of love making. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted it. And why shouldn't I? Why couldn't I have it all?

"Okay…let's do it. Let's move in together." The smile that formed took up Edward's entire face. In a flash he was out of his seat and over to me, kissing me with a ferocity that made my toes curl.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Blossom." He squeezed out between kisses. "You have made me the happiest man alive." More kisses. I was happy too. Very happy.

We had decided that I would move in after I graduated. In Edward's mind it meant right after. Like eight hours after, which is why he was currently fidgeting in his seat. He wanted to go. I must have taken too long to answer his question because he pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles. The warmth of his breath pulled me out of my memories…again.

"I am. Let's go home." We said good-bye to our family and friends. Charlie and I had a longer moment together where he told me how proud he was of me, again, and assured me that he would be okay. We made plans to meet for breakfast in a couple of days and then parted ways.

Over the last few weeks, Edward and I had moved all of my belongings over to his apartments. I was completely unpacked and our things and our lives were merged together. The only thing missing was me. That was about to change.

The drive from Port Angeles went quickly as we chatted about this and that. Edward kept his hand on my thigh and drew lazy circles with his thumb. It relaxed me and had it been a longer ride, I probably would have fallen asleep. But I didn't and soon enough we were standing in front of the door to his…I mean our…apartment.

"Are you ready for this, Blossom?" I turned to face him as I wanted him to know the truth behind my answer.

"Absolutely." His smile was genuine for a second before it morphed into a smirk.

"Well then…" I gasped as he picked me up and cradled me in his arms. "…we should do this properly."

"Edward, what are you doing?"

"I'm carrying you across the threshold."

"We didn't just get married." The words caught in my throat a little.

"One step at a time, Blossom. One step at a time." We both knew the meaning behind those words. One day, we would be getting married. It was a fact. But we were both eager to enjoy this new development in our relationship for a while. No pressure.

With that, Edward carried me through the door and into our bedroom. That night, he took his time making me feel cherished. There were moments when tears came to my eyes when I thought about how loved this man made me feel. It was overwhelming.

We weren't fully sated until the early morning hours. Even then, the need to have physical contact led to gentle caresses and entwined limbs. I knew when Edward slipped into sleep as I could hear his soft, rhythmic breathing. I looked back at everything I had been through that had brought me to this moment. A lot of it had been very, very bad, but I persevered and made it through. With the support of the people I loved and who loved me by my side, I was finally in a place that I wanted to be. I was living the life that I was meant to live.

As I snuggled deeper into Edward's arms, my thoughts were of my parents. I drifted off to sleep, fulfilled in knowing that wherever they were, they were watching me and truly happy with my second chance at life.

**Okay, kids. That's all she wrote! Well, not exactly. There will be a brief epilogue posted in about a week. Thank you to all of you who have stuck by this story and have finished it to the end. I have appreciated your feedback so much. If you have recommended this story somewhere, let me know! I would like to thank you properly! **

**As always, I would love to know what you think!**

**~Isannah**


	23. Epilogue

**Thank you to everyone who has supported this story. I have enjoyed writing it and hearing what you all have had to say about it. You guys are great.**

**AN: I do not own Twilight**

**Epilogue**

"_If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded."_

_~Maya Angelou_

**BPOV**

_**Almost a year later:**_

"There. That's done." I had just finished entering the last batch of grades I had into the online grade program. It felt good as I could cross that off my growing list of things to do.

After I had graduated, I started looking for jobs. I applied to just about everywhere but only got a handful of interviews. I was discouraged after my third rejection. It was in the next town over and I had made it to a second interview. I felt I nailed it, but the woman who called me said that they had chosen a person with more experience and wished me luck in the future. It's funny about experience…how was I ever going to gain some if I never got hired. Like I said, discouraging.

About halfway through August I had just about given up. That was until Emmett flew into the diner one day looking like a kid on Christmas.

"Guess what, Bella my Fella." I had played this game with Emmett before. I don't know why. I never, ever guess right.

"You finally bought the marshmallow gun you've been pining over all summer?" It was the only thing I could think of.

"Nope, guess again."

"You've grown a third nipple and are running away to join the circus."

"Now you're just being silly." My jaw dropped in shock.

_I'm being silly? Emmett is the king of silly._

"Then why don't you put me out of my misery and just tell me. I do have work to do, you know." I wiped down the counter in front of him to make my point.

"Okay, but you need to sit down. This is epic." After a little huff, I gave in to Emmett and took a seat on a stool. "Heidi's husband took a job in North Carolina and they're moving next week.

_Huh?_

"O-kay. Who's Heidi?" I said trying to keep up. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"This is the best part. Heidi is one of our high school English teachers. As of today there is officially an opening at Forks High and I told them that you would be perfect for the job. They'll be calling you for an interview." Dumbfounded, I just stared at Emmett and couldn't speak.

_A job. At the high school. Teaching English. Holy shit._

"Now would be the time when you squeal, jump up and down, and thank me profusely by hugging the shit out of me." So I did just that.

"Oh my God! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope this didn't put you in an awkward position. You didn't have to recommend me."

"Hey, sometimes to get a foot in the door it's all in who you know. I got my interview because my dad is friends with a school board member. I still had to go in and rock the interview, which I did. And you will too. Just give them some of that Bella awesome charm and they would be a fool not to hire you."

So that's what I tried to do and a week later I was the newest employee of the Forks Central School District.

_Yeah me._

As soon as I found out I got right to work. I was at a disadvantage because there were only two weeks of summer left and that was not nearly enough time to plan and get ready for the beginning of the school year. I was in deep shit. Lucky for me, I was given Heidi's schedule of four sections of tenth grade English, one section of an eleventh-twelfth grade elective, and a study hall. Before she left she met with me and gave me everything that she had. I knew that eventually I wanted to incorporate my own material and lessons, but this at least gave me a starting point and something to build on. I was so grateful to her for sharing it with me and we ended up exchanging e-mails so that we could bounce ideas off each other.

The year started off…odd. The first day, my tenth grade classes went off without a hitch. I felt confident in what I was presenting and the students all seemed to be eager to learn. I had one problem with a boy who I quickly put in his place. It was effective in establishing my discipline policy and I didn't have a problem with him or anyone else after that. My elective was a little bit of a different story. It wasn't a mandatory course so I understood why my roster said I only had eight students. It was a little small, but I felt I could work with that. That afternoon, I had been completely caught off guard when twenty-three kids, mostly boys, showed up for class. I was perplexed but didn't question it. I was just glad it was full. It wasn't until later that I found out why. Edward and I were getting ready for bed at the end of that first day. I had explained what had happened and he just chuckled.

"What? Why are you laughing at me?" I said as I turned down the covers of the bed on one side as Edward did the same on the other. This was part of our nightly routine and I loved that we would talk about our day before going to sleep in each other's arms.

"I'm not laughing at you. It's just that…I know why your class filled up. I talked to Emmett." He looked at me sheepishly.

"What does Emmett have to do with this?"

"Nothing, except he heard some boys in the locker room talking about the 'hot new English teacher.' A bunch of them had their schedule switched so they could be in your class. I can't blame them. I would too if it meant I got to see your sexy ass everyday." He emphasized his words by reaching around me,grabbing my ass and pulling me down onto the bed. He slowly started to kiss my neck and usually that's enough to get me really going, but I couldn't get past what he had said.

"They're not taking the class because they love English? They're just…horny?" Edward stopped kissing me because he knew what the tone of my voice meant. He propped his head on his hand and just like always, Edward began to rationalize my irrational thoughts.

"They're teenage boys. Of course they're horny. But don't let why they're taking the class get in the way of you teaching in. _Make _them love it, Blossom." Edward was right. It didn't matter why they signed up. They were in it now and I was going make sure they left having a better appreciation for English.

"You always know what to say. I love you."

"I love you too." Edward went back to kissing my neck. Much more relaxed, I could enjoy it the way it was meant to be enjoyed.

"I'm going to work their asses off."

"I know you will. Now speaking of asses, get yours over here…" With that he pulled me underneath him and made me forget…well, everything.

o~o~O~o~o

I did work their asses off…hard. After the first month, the students knew my expectations and together we got a lot of work done. Their infatuation of my newness and looks wore off and it was replaced with a mutual respect. They put an honest effort into everything I presented and I in return challenged and supported them in all of their endeavors. I made sure I was there for athletic events, music concerts, and chess team tournaments. I wrote letters of recommendation for college and became shameless when attempting to get their work published. I also encouraged them to venture outside their comfort zone and attend things like poetry readings and plays. I recommended books I think they would like and even went to a midnight showing of _Harry Potter_ with some of them. Not going to lie, I was hurting the next day. I was definitely too old for that.

Spring was winding down and soon another summer would begin. The year had been a good one in many respects. I sighed as I pulled myself out of my memories and closed out my grade program. My elective students would be coming in soon and I wanted to be ready for them. We were ending our Shakespeare unit and I was collecting their final assignment today. All that was left was review for the final exam.

I glanced at the clock and noticed that the kids should have arrived by now. It was a little weird that none of them were in the room yet. I looked at the closed door and wonder if I had locked it by mistake. I crossed the room and was about to reach for the handle when the door opened. Paul was the first to enter.

"Hi, Miss Swan. Sorry I'm late."

"Hi Paul. Don't worry about it. You're the first one here." I smiled warmly at the senior who would be going to Arizona State University next year. He started to head for his seat but then stopped.

"Oh, I got really busy last night and had to finish my homework when we went out to dinner. I couldn't find any paper so I did it on this. I hope that's okay." He handed me up a folded up napkin which I stared at for a few seconds. I was just about to tell him it wasn't but he had already made it up one of the aisles. I began to unfold it.

_This I gotta see._

It didn't have his name on it or the assignment I had given them. It had one line on it.

"_**Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly at your service." ~The Tempest – Act 3 Scene 1**_

Before I could call Paul back, Embry was at the door. "Hi, Miss Swan. Here's my homework."

Another napkin. With another quote.

"_**Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." ~A Midsummer Night's Dream – Act 1 Scene 1**_

One by one the students came in and handed me another napkin.

"_**Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?" ~As You Like it – Act 3 Scene 5**_

**"_Her passions are made of nothing but the finest part of pure love." ~ Antony & Cleopatra - Act 3, Scene 5_ "_A heart to love, and in that heart, courage, to make's love known." ~ Macbeth - Act 2, Scene 3_**

"_**This bud of love by summer's ripening breath, May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet." ~ Romeo & Juliet - Act 2, Scene 1**_

**"_Love is begun by time, and time qualifies the spark and fire of it." ~ Hamlet – Act 4, Scene 7_**

When all the students had arrived, I had twenty-three napkins with twenty-three Shakespearean quotes on love. I stared at them in my hands for a few moments trying to understand why they had done this. When the answers didn't come from the napkins, I looked to the students, who were all sitting at their desks with their backs to me. They busied themselves with getting out the things they needed for class and looked relatively normal, except for one thing. They weren't talking to each other…at all. Before I could contemplate that any further, a voice, a little too deep for high school cleared his throat. When I turned my head, the sight before me brought instant tears to my eyes.

_Edward. _

He was down on one knee just inside the doorway. In one hand there were a bouquet of brightly colored flowers and in the other there was a diamond ring clutched between his thumb and index finger. He was breathtaking. I swallowed hard to try to stop the emotion that was bubbling inside of me.

"Blossom…there are not enough napkins in the world to convey just how much I love you. It would make me the happiest man in the world if you let me be yours forever. Please, Bella, say that you'll marry me."

I felt what he was saying. We had been through so much and at times it wasn't easy, but now…now everything was as it should be. Suddenly I couldn't get the words out fast enough.

"Yes! Yes! I'll marry you." Edward's nervous expression turned into an enormous smile as he stood and picked me up in his arms. I could hear the cheers of my students as Edward swung me around and peppered me with kisses.

"I promise I will be the best husband I can be. For as long as we live, Blossom. You'll never regret saying yes."

In my heart I knew without a doubt he was right.

~The End~

**For the last time, thank you for reading and I would love to hear what you think. Some of you have said that you would like to read some outtakes in Edward's POV. I might have a few in me so if there is something you would really like to read, let me know. I'll try to accommodate. Love and kisses until next time!**

**~Isannah**


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